Only If You Will

issue

"What did he say?" Dada asked.

"Nothing." I answered.

"If my brother does anything, know that I'm always here to kick his ass." Kyla reminded.

She said the same thing on our wedding day to me. I nodded my head okay.

"I can babysit for you Aunt Cody." Emily insisted.

"Maybe when you get older." I giggled. She's only 3, so probably not now...

About an hour or two later everyone left. Lars was passed out sleeping in the middle of the living room floor.

I cleaned up a little then went downstairs. He was sitting on the couch playing guitar.

I sat next to him and put my head on his shoulder. He switched and started playing Crazy Bitch. I punched his arm and he stopped.

"Oh come on. It's our song. You are a crazy bitch, and you do duck so good, making me on top of it." He chuckled. I just rolled my eyes.

"You left me up there having to socialize all alone." I complained.

"I'm sorry. They were just bombarding me with everything. And I just really couldn't take it anymore. I needed some time alone." He apologized.

He wasn't right. I know that exact tone and voice too well. I stood up.

"You were getting high." I hissed.

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

"Don't fucking lie. I know you're high. I know that voice and how you act. Now give me it. Now." I demanded.

He got out the bottle of Morphine that was hidden behind the pillow. He gave it to me as he looked down.

"Don't you think you should've learned your lesson by now!? You already were locked up for 3 fucking years due to Heroin!" I yelled. "Why do you have to get high all the time!?"

"Because I don't like being myself. I hate me. And drugs make me forget who I am." He admitted. I sat next to him.

"What do you mean? Why would you hate yourself?" I asked a lot more calm.

"Because I'm ugly. Make bad decisions. Have too many mental issues. And I'm just no good."

I grabbed his hand and walked him upstairs to our room in front of the mirror. I stood behind him. Looking at him through the mirror.

I removed his clothes and he went with it helping me in the process. He was soon nude.

"Who is that?" I asked.

"Jay." He whispered.

"No, that is my very handsome, strong, and amazing husband, best friend, and baby's daddy." I corrected. "I don't see a single thing wrong with you."

"Yes there is." He sighed. "I have pricks from needles left on my arm. My skin's too dark, I have useless tattoos, my lips are too big, and my feet are also too big."

"The pricks on your arm are just a reminder that you're stronger now. The useless tattoos are just memories of good times." I tear fell down his cheek. "And your skin's perfectly fine, thousands of people have your skin tone. Your lips are just perfect for your wonderful kisses that you give. And you know what they safe about big feet." By the end he cracked a small smile. "I saw that." It quickly went away.

"No you didn't." He denied.

"Yes I did." I giggled.

I pinched his butt making him jump a little before walking away. He ran up behind me and began tickling me. I was slowly sinking down to the floor.

He was soon on top of me as I was screaming for mercy. Lars then ran in and pounced onto Jay. He pinned him to the ground and began growling at him.