☾𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠☾ ☾𝚢𝚊𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚞𝚌𝚑𝚒☾

Chapter 9

hey guys... um please vote. It wouldn't hurt🤗 I walked over to my next class and sat in my spot to the back. The teacher wasn't here yet so I did the same as last class and laid my head on my desk. --------------------------- ⚠️Trigger Warning⚠️: This chapter will have attempted suicide so if your triggered please skip this chapter. --------------------------- I laid there for another 2 minutes before the teacher walked in. I looked up to see who it was. I couldn't believe it. It was Sato-san. Shit. Why does this have to keep happening to me. I can't do this anymore. I quickly put my head down. The principal came in as well and was introducing the new teacher. I didn't want him to notice me. He probably would after he did attendance anyway but I still hoped he wouldn't. Once the principal left he started to talk about his life and stuff. He was saying how he lived alone and didn't have any kids but always wanted one. I didn't care much about that anyway. I just didn't want him to tell anyone. Before since we had no relationship it would be ok. But now, well he was my teacher so he would probably have to tell someone. I hated this. Why was everything messing up now. I went years without having to deal with this kind of stuff. I mean sure sometimes someone would catch something small. But I'd play it off as something else. It's not there fault though. They don't know there looking for signs of abuse. After he was finished talking about his life he started taking attendance. He went in alphabetical order so I would be around the end. "Saburo Hinata" "Here" Crap I was next. "Tadashi Yamaguchi" He looked over in my direction. Damn it of course he knew it was me. "Here" I said quietly. He moved on to the next person. I put my head back down for the rest of class not getting noticed. When class ended I headed towards the door as fast as I could. "Tadashi-kun come here for a second" I froze while students past me headed towards the door. I turned around and walked towards him sitting at the desk. Today was a bad day to be caught. It has to be the day I look like crap. Damn it what am I gonna do now. "Tadashi-kun I'm gonna have to tell someone". I looked down at me feet. Those words were gonna make me break down. I could feel tears starting to form in my eyes. But I couldn't cry right now. "no" That was all I said. I didn't know what else to say at that moment. "Tadashi-kun, I'm sorry. I know you trusted me before but I'm your teacher now. It's my responsibility I-" "NO, it's not your responsibility and it's not your business! I- I'm fine now. That was all before. I love my dad and he loves me! He made a mistake once and that's it! It doesn't happen anymore! Please I'm fine now leave me PLEASE" He looked at me surprised. At that point there were tears running down my eyes. I couldn't stop them anymore. I shouldn't have said that so rude. I was still speaking to a teacher after all. He didn't look like he believed it though. "Tadashi! I'm sorry again. But I have to and you can't be lying to yourself. I promise no one will hurt you. I'll keep you safe ok. Trust me Tadashi-kun. Just let me help you" It felt like my heart stopped beating. Why does this keep happening to me. Is this a sign. Does this mean I shouldn't be alive. I can't do this anymore. I wanna kill myself. That's all I wanna do. Kill myself. "I gotta go" I walked out if the classroom. I could hear him calling for me but I didn't care. I had to go now. I walked out if the school and walked home with only one thing in my mind. I went to my home and walked inside. I went to my kitchen cabinet to grab ibuprofen. I headed upstairs and went in my bathroom. I looked at my mirror and immediately started crying. Why was this my life. Why was I like this. Why did I have to be alive. I didn't want to. I couldn't do this anymore. I hate myself. I grabbed one of my razors from the drawer. I went over to the bath and filled it up. I took out my phone and went to the karasuno group chat. I wanted to text them one last time. It would be nice. Maybe then they would care about me. After I was gone. I started writing. It took a while as I wanted to explain everything to them. Then at least my dad would be in jail once I was dead. Freckles: hey guys. It's yamaguchi. I just wanted to text you guys for the last time I guess. If you have have already read this part then your already freaking out. Sorry about that. I should probably explain it first. It's easier to when I won't be there to talk about it. Anyway I should start at the beginning. So my mom and dad got divorced when when I was 7. It wasn't that big of a deal. But when my dad left my mom went a bit crazy. She would always cry and yell telling me it was my fault he left. And I thought it was too. she actually ended up killing herself a couple years later. So I guess my dad had to take care of me. At first it was okay I guess. But then he started to drink and do drugs. He thought it was my fault my mom died. It was probably me that drove her crazy to begin with. I didn't blame him. I reminded him of my mom. We looked alike both having green hair and freckles. He hated me. And I hated myself. He started to hit me. I mean at first it wasn't that bad. Maybe a couple punches. But that turned into a couple punches and some kicks. But eventually it turned it a couple punches, kicks, whips, and some beer bottles being thrown. I hid it from you guys scared of what would happen. It wasn't even that bad then. But a year ago something else started happening. This was worse for me then the others. I hated it more. He first started to touch me and make me do the same. He eventually raped me. It happens often now I guess. That made me even more depressed then I have been before. It made me cut myself. And I really tried not to most of the time. I just couldn't help it. It was addicting. It was hard trying to hide everything from you guys. I really hated myself then. It was all my fault. Maybe if my parents were happy with me they wouldn't have gotten divorced and this wouldn't have had to happen. Maybe if I wasn't born. I couldn't do anything about that now except kill myself. I guess I hate myself. The only thing I can really do now is end it. I don't know if I should apologize. I don't know if you guys even care. I'm sorry I'm to weak. I can't handle it anymore. I'm trying my best guys I really am. I love playing volleyball with you guys. I wasn't the best at it though and was probably holding you guys back most of the time. I should also apologize for that. I'm sorry for breaking my promise Tsuki. You deserve a better friend then me. Anyways this is bye I guess. Hope you guys will be at my funeral. Bye.

I set my phone down and went inside the tub. I grabbed the ibuprofen and spilled some in my hand. I swallowed them and laid back down. I heard many dings coming from my phones. I could hear my phone ringing as well. I grabbed the razor and made a long, deep cut on both my arms. It hurt more than my usual cuts. It was still better since I did then myself. The ringing still didn't stop. It was getting annoying. I watched lots of blood pour out. It was more blood than I've ever gotten. I was actually doing it. I've always thought of it but I never thought I would go through with it. I was still crying. Not because I was sad but because I was free from this life. I laid back and closed my eyes. The last thing u heard was a ding coming from my phone. --------------------------- Hey guys, sorry not sorry for this cliffhanger. I hope you guys liked this chapter even though it was sad. Word Count: 1,471