Don't Leave Me Alone...

"I have something I need to tell you."

I sat in my room, staring at the man that I was madly in love with standing in my doorway. Yet I had to resist the urge to vomit.

 "We need to talk." Those four words nearly broke my heart. He was upset and it hurt me so bad. I nodded for him to sit next to me, in which he slowly walked over and I looked down, feeling a sink in the mattress.

 "What's up with the cat?" He asked.

 " H-Her name is Mochi... I'm keeping her here for the time being..." I then though about what would happen to her after I died. I'm sure I could convince Midoriya to take her after and keep her for me. I shook my head. "I-I adopted her today..." He kept silent, looking down and closing his eyes with a sigh. Mochi surprisingly stood from behind me, trotting over to Kirishima's lap and laying down. He let a smile, a beautiful, toothy smile crack across his face as he pet her silently. I felt myself smile sadly. "She likes you... She supposedly doesn't like many people..." 

"Mh... "

 "So... What did you come to talk about..?" I leaned back on my elbows and looked at him, tilting my head. His smile faltered.

 "I..." His voice choked off. "Why did you not talk to me today? Are you mad?" His voice was shaking and so was his hand as he pet Mochi. "D-Did I d-do something w-wrong?" He shook more and my heart broke a little more as well. I couldn't see him like this. It hurt me so bad. I swallowed, praying for no petals to come up. /Not now.../ 

 "No..." I lied, cringing a little.

 "Please, Denki, don't lie to me..." My eyes went wide as a single tear slipped down his cheek. He never used my full first name, him usually calling me Kaminari or Denks. He was trying so hard to hold himself together and I wanted nothing more than for him to let everything out to me, not caring about what I thought. But that didn't really seem like a viable option to him. He didn't wanna fall apart. Not yet.

 "I... You... The other day..." Words struggled to escape my lips, my stupid brain trying to find the right thing to say. I just wanted to scream that I loved him and that I hated to see him with someone else. I stayed quiet and gulped, staring at his hair. It was down and ungelled, looking messy as if he took a shower and didn't bother to brush it. I felt myself move a little closer to him. "Yesterday... I was worked up because you went with Bakugo instead of me..."

 "I saw you run away... When class started I almost went after you... Bakugo told me it was best to leave you be..." I went to diss Bakugo but I realized what he said was right. If Kirishima came looking for me it would've made things a lot worse. I would've panicked and then he would've gotten Aizawa and then he would call the police and then I would be in the hospital, my feelings for Kirishima exposed to everyone. I realized that for once, Bakugo helped me. I bit my tongue and nodded.

 "It kinda hurt... You told me that you were gonna do something with me and then just turned around and changed your mind. That's not cool, Ei. If it were me, I wouldn't go back on my word unless I absolutely had to. You just did what was more convenient for you and didn't even think about my feelings and it hurt-  It really, really hurt... " I looked down and held back tears. He stayed quiet for a moment and stared at my hand, the bandages falling off a little bit, no blood showing through as it has mostly scabbed over. I was probably going to wear bandages until it mostly healed because just by looking at the wound you knew it was caused by me pounding a rough surface repeatedly.

 "Your hand..." He stared at it, his eyes half lidded. "What happened?" I decided that I at least had to be a little honest with him.

 "I was punching stuff..."

 "You- what why?" He looked concerned, taking my wrist an running his thumb over my bandages.

 "I was... I was mad. Not thinking." I felt my heart rate spike when he touched me, warmth spreading through my fingertips. 

 "Mh... I'm so sorry... I... Was being stupid. I just thought it would be better for him and I to be partners, yknow." He shrugged and wiped his eyes. I couldn't help but feel jealous. What did he mean by "Think it would be better"? Was he just tired of me? Was h-

There was a burning sensation in my throat, and I knew that I was screwed. I coughed and ripped my hand away from him, covering my mouth with both of my hands, coughing up petals. Of what color? I didn't know. But I knew that this was bad. Bad bad bad bad BAD. How was Kirishima gonna react to me coughing up petals?! I ran to my trashcan, putting my head in it as deep as possible, coughing up yellow and red petals. /Possessive and Angry/ It made me think of us. Kirishima and Kaminari, those two friends who bring everyone together. Kirishima, the masculine guy who cared about everyone and would do anything to make his friends happy. Kaminari, the dumb funny guy who could make friends with anyone and was annoying half the time. It was no secret how people saw us. Kirishima is gay and likes his best friend, Bakugo. Kaminari is a womanizer and didn't really care about anyone's feelings. People thought that I didn't know. But I was fully well aware, after all I was the one putting on the mask for all this time.

Kirishima's voice sounded muffled in my ear. Go on, call the police. Get me out of this hell hole- At this point I might as well jump from the roof. It would be easier. So much easier. For a split second I got up to go and do it, but then my mind drifted back to Kirishima. What did Midoriya say? I still had a chance- I needed to tell him before I went. I would tell him and then I would finally be at peace and I could go and die, I could die whole.

The petals stopped, as if they knew what I was doing. I stood, weak kneed and stared at a bewildered and concerned Kirishima. 

"Denki what the hell- you have fucking Hanhaki- what the hell!? Why didn't you tell me!? Who di-" I grabbed his shoulders, holding him steady and feeling the warm feeling run up my arms. I wobbled on my feet.

"I have something I need to tell you." I stared at him, his eyes wide. "I... I am madly in love with my best friend. His same is Eijiro Kirishima, and he has been my best friend since f-fourth grade-" I felt tears well in my eyes as it got harder to breathe. "I've loved him for o-over a year and I got the rare Hanhaki disease for him. He is in love w-with his best friend, Katsuki Bakugo and I'm okay with that. I decided that I-I'd rather die than forget him with s-surgery. I-I won't let him convince me otherwise a-and I'm telling you t-this before I go and e-end it to stop the pain once and for all-" Tears rolled down my cheeks as I clung to his shoulders desperately. "I want him to know that- h-he is the m-manliest, kindest, smartest and most b-beautiful person that I've ever met- a-and that I-I love you, I just love you so God dammed much. I-I can't fucking s-stand it-" I broke down, Kirishima's expression blank. "T-Tell everyone I said g-goodby-" I was cut off as I was pulled into someone's chest, a familiar warmth spreading throughout my whole body.

"Denki..." He whispered , running his soft fingers through my hair. "Please calm down, you're speaking nonsense-" 

 "B-But-"

"Shh..." I felt myself hiccup and sniff, relaxing under his touch slightly. He slowly walks back and leads me to my bed, laying me down and laying down with me. "All of this... Was unnecessary, Denks." He held me close and rubbed circles in my back. I didnt understand what I was feeling. It was nice and almost nostalgic. "Everything..."

"W-What do you m-m-mean?"

 "Denki... Me and Bakugo are just friends and only friends." His quiet words felt like they lifted a huge weight from my chest. My breathing got a little better. 

"H-He always gave me death stares when I was around you-"

 "That's because he knew that... We both thought you were straight-"

"O-Okay and?"

"Denki isn't it obvious?" He smiled and I realized he was crying, too. "I love you, too, dumbass."

1524 words

(yayyyyyy!!!! Big smiles and probs some tears too, but trust me there's a lot more coming! This is a very long chapter so the next one isn't a long- Comment what you think and vote if you enjoyed 🤗)