Trust in the Force | Obi-Wan Kenobi

Sanctury

{ Eleven Years Earlier }

It was a quiet day in the Jedi temple, to the everyday outsider perhaps everyday was. But those who spent their days and nights here knew differently. The calm on the surface wasn't always as serene as it appeared to the naked eye. The Force was forever shifting, changing, rising and falling like the tide affecting everything around it in the process. The Jedi who wielded it were no exception.

The gardens where many mediated in particular, were fairly empty on the evening Lyra had chosen to place herself in its confidence. The late hour in which she had found herself there would be another factor as to why she was the only one present and meditating. She hadn't thought much of it when she had come to seek solitude, but was glad nonetheless that circumstances had aligned in her hasty search.

Her head had found clarity in the silence that lingered, losing it's hold on the days hectic events that had previously threatened to overcome her senses. Holding onto turmoil was not the Jedi way, Yoda loved to remind her of that fact anytime she faced that particular challenge. One she was sure she would face many times again yet to come.

"Lyra?"

Newfound peace was not one to be held for long it seemed, the voice of Obi-Wan interrupting her mind which had been swimming in the river of the Force around her. His loud footsteps echoed obnoxiously, mockingly, in the wake of his haste approach, halting when he reached her side, but her eyes would remain shut. Stubbornly holding out hope that the older padawan might leave her be once he realised she had been successfully meditating.

No such blessing would grace her.

"What happened?" He asked, sounding worried.

Obi-Wan hovered at her side restlessly as she contemplated if she should reply or not. Maybe if Lyra pretended she hadn't heard him, or outright ignored him he might get the hint? Though she knew of Kenobi's stubborn side just as much as she knew he wouldn't leave well enough alone even if she reassured him of what was troubling him.

With a sigh, she dropped her hold on the calm. Body drifting gently to the floor, once her crossed legs connected with the stone below her Lyra let out a deep sigh of defeat. She at least hoped he wouldn't make a big deal of this, not like last time.

"I'm perfectly fine"

"That's not what I asked" Obi-Wan corrected stubbornly, crouching down to her height once he moved to stand in front of her. A deep seeded frown overtook his features once he saw her face up close, even hidden half below her cloak he could see the bruises that were forming.

She'd been in another fight.

"What happened, was it Needo again, I thought I told him last time-" He began his incessant rambling like he always did, but Lyra held no desire to listen to all of it again and cut him off with a shake of her head.

"It doesn't matter who it was, I shouldn't have stepped to his level and let myself be angered by his words" It took two to argue after all, she had just as much spurred on the disagreement as her opponent had even if she hadn't started it. Regret echoed in the back of her head like a hollow clang in the darkness, reminding her of her mistakes, of her shortcomings as a Jedi. Learner or not, inadequacy had long followed her like a silent shadow. One she might never hope to shake.

"And he shouldn't have insulted you. What did he say Lyra?" Obi-Wan wasn't backing down on his view, he never did even if he had dropped the subject for her sake many times in the past. It was never an argument they ever quite finished.

Startlingly his hand found her cheek, just shy of cupping it as he examined the wounds with intense eyes. She knew the gentle touch held no implications behind it beyond a worried friend, but her heart screamed out in her chest in yearning regardless. Hoping for something more, for something deeper she know she shouldn't. Even at the tender age of seventeen, Lyra still failed in to reign in that part of herself. The part that had fallen for the padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi. She hated herself for it.

"What he always says, it's starting to get a little repetitive if I'm honest" The joke was meant to lighten the heavy air that had settled between the two, but Obi-Wan gave no indication he had found her words amusing. Instead shaking his head and dropping his hand away from under her hood with a frustrated sigh. Of course Lyra would play off her suffering, she always had, always would. He never understood why.

"It's not funny, you should tell Master Yoda" He pleaded.

"Tell him what? That Needo calls me a street rat, that I'm only Master Yoda's apprentice because the other Jedi look down at me with either pity or desire. Or that he believes he's a better Jedi than I, that I'll never be driven by more than vanity on the surface" She all but spat in his face, turning her head away in disgust and regret at how the words had come out. She hadn't meant to come across angry or hurt, especially not at Obi-Wan who was only trying to help. But it was hard to let go of the pain someone else had inflicted on her only hours previously, harder even to let someone see her left vulnerable because of it.

"We both know Master Yoda could do nothing more than lecture me on the subject, and I'm not going to tell Master Plo or Master Windu either before you mention it, this isn't about the Jedi Masters" Lyra grumbled, daring a look at Obi-Wan's face to gauge his reaction to her outburst. Expecting irritation and frustration only to find a sad understanding in his eyes which had fallen over her again while she had been speaking.

She hated when he looked at her like that, it made her skin itch.

"No, this is about you" His gaze faltered for some reason, dropping from her face down her frame and onto the floor "Needo is just jealous" he offered suddenly making her eyebrows raise as a result "He believes you didn't earn you skill with the Force and with your Saber, he can't accept that someone like you easily bests him where it matters most".

Obi-Wan had always been stingy with his praise, it felt strange to receive it now, even if it made her cheeks warm.

"Thank you...Obi-Wan" It was even rarer for her to speak his full name like this, she felt the occasion called for it. That the older Padawan's sweet palette deserved nothing but his title in full for she could offer him no more than thanks in return. Even if she could and wanted so desperately to give much more. To give all of herself.

It was not the Jedi way.