Stirring The Soul

Chapter 25

You wake up late the next morning, trying hard to remember the dream you had. It had started promisingly with Jungkook who was swiftly substituted by a pink rabbit with an attitude. The rabbit was best friends with an angry-looking cookie and you were soon replaced in favour of five other 'animals'. You shake your head to clear away remnants of the dream and reach under your pillow for your phone. Just the one message from Jungkook saying he'd eventually woken up after a couple of his housemates threw cold water on his face. He was now sitting in a camper van with four other guys, about to enjoy the great outdoors. You text him back:

/// Morning sleepyhead. Have a great time and enjoy yourself! I won't take it personally if I don't hear from you cos I assume you'll be too busy having fun. I'm hanging out with the girls today, we have a lot to catch up on 😉
Chat later, don't do anything too crazy........😘 ///

You'll miss Jungkook, but you're so glad that he's spending time with others rather than being cooped up indoors. And this is a great chance for you to catch up with the girls whom you've missed. You get ready at a very leisurely pace and then settle down with a light breakfast, noticing the silence and emptiness of the apartment. Pre-Jungkook, you loved immersing yourself in this quietude, but right now, it feels like it's missing something.......or someone.

Hmmm, didn't think I'd miss him already, but I guess I do, you reflect. You also notice that you haven't been thinking of Mark as much, recently. You frown at that fact and wonder whether it's something to be concerned about. I've just been preoccupied with work, you tell yourself, and practising with Jungkook, and talking to Jungkook, and doing other things with Jungkook.

You sit on your bed and look through pictures of Mark on your phone. The last time you did that was almost a month ago and now you were starting to forget his subtler physical features. As you scroll through your memories, your eyes well up. But this time, less for wanting things to go back to the way they were, but more because of the sadness you feel, knowing the pain he had to endure without ever complaining. Until recently, you'd only dwelled on how unfair it was that he was taken away from you, leaving you all alone. You will always love Mark, but you're a different person now compared to five years ago. Now, life has introduced you to Jungkook who seems to be compatible with the current version of you. Maybe it is finally time to move on. You will never forget about Mark but you know that you can't live in the past anymore. You look at your ring and decide to do what you haven't been able to all this time. Very slowly, you start to take off the ring which has settled comfortably on your finger after five years. It takes some effort, but you are eventually able to tease it off. You stare at it, hardly believing what you've finally managed to do. You don't bother to wipe away the tears which are now rolling down your face as you kiss the ring and store it safely in your bedside drawer. You look at your bare finger which shows where the ring ice was, and cry silently for a few more minutes. It takes a while to let out all the lingering sadness, but once done, you get up slowly and make your way to the bathroom. You start to feel some of the heaviness that has been sitting in your heart gradually being lifted.

An hour later, you reach Le Meridien hotel and head upstairs to its mezzanine balcony where the girls are waiting for you. "Hey it's the three musketiaras back for another round of mayhem!" cries Layla, excitedly.

"Musketiaras? Blimey, I haven't heard that name since......" you wrinkle your brows trying to recall.

"Girl, we had that printed on our sashes for your birthday, how could you forget?" Mia chastises you.

"Oh yeah! My bad," you say, not having really forgotten.

"Ahhhh it's so nice and warm in here," says Layla.

The three of you excitedly catch up on what you've been doing so far, although you avoid talking about Jungkook just yet. You select your teas when the waitress arrives and eagerly await the 'afternoon tea'. You are all in mid-flow eating, drinking and talking when Mia suddenly throws in, "So Anna, I notice you've kept schtum about your toy boy. Come on, spill." They've both temporarily abandoned their sandwiches and scones, looking at you expectantly. You take a deep breath before ploughing through the expected comments, "His name's Jungkook, he's a member of a famous K-pop band, he's 21 years old (Layla giggles), and he's here for a few months to do Higher Studies in Music at the Academy. I'm giving him extra piano sessions," and Mia quickly interjects,  "I bet that's not all your giving him lessons on." Layla manages to smirk and giggle at the same time.

Ignoring this, you carry on, "Guys, I think this is serious. He's not just a toy boy whom I'm having fun with. We get along really well. And it's not like I was actively looking to have a relationship or fall for someone ....."

"You're falling for him?!" Layla splutters pieces of a scone she's just bitten into. This makes you stop, and you simply nod your head slowly. Mia speaks now, "Ok, ok, let's have a serious discussion about this. So, this is like a proper relationship?"

"It's developing into one," you reply quietly.

"But, you've only known each other for a few weeks! It's not even been one half term! He must a hell of an amazing 21 year old to grab your attention," Mia concludes.

You expect this and so reply, "I tried to stop myself feeling anything for him. And you know me, you know what I've been through. I've never had feelings for anyone after losing Mark. I'm telling you about Jungkook because he really means something to me. You guys understand, right?" you ask in hope. They both look at each other and round on you to give you a hug from either side.

"If you're happy, we're happy."
"About bloody time, Anna."

You smile in relief. When they sit back down, Mia says, "Ok, now the most important question, what's he like in bed?" At this point you almost spill your Lady Grey.