Stirring The Soul

Chapter 51

You sleep soundly right through the night, completely oblivious to the constant buzzing of your phone. When you do eventually wake up, it's mid-morning and the autumn sun is trying to break through your bedroom curtains. You lazily rub your eyes when the light rays hit your face. You suddenly widen your eyes, momentarily forgetting that it's half term and you're not late for work. As you slowly come to your senses, the memories of the day before start to surface. It had been going so well; you'd made a breakthrough with Yoongi, led your team to victory, and even convinced Jungkook that all was above board with Jimin. It was a shame that it ended on a sad note, despite Namjoon offering to recommend you to work for their music writing team. You felt very conflicted at the time and just needed to put the day behind you by going straight to bed.

You knew that Jungkook would text you when you got home and, sure enough, you see the multitude of messages from him. The general gist of them was to ask how you were, why you suddenly went quiet by the end of the evening, and whether you were mad at him for any reason. He asks if you want to meet today and while you debate whether you want to or not, a message from Jimin suddenly appears. You stop reading the rest of Jungkook's messages and instantly hit the new one.

/// Anna noona, how are you today? It's Jimin here. I took your number from JK's phone without him knowing.

This is gonna sound weird, but are you free to meet today? I want to talk to you about something and it has to be today since we're leaving in a couple of days.

If you're not busy, I can meet you around 12? Anywhere that's convenient for you is ok for me ///

You stare at the phone, wondering what on earth Jimin wants to talk to you about. Your mind goes through all the possible reasons for him wanting to meet today, all of which give you reason to worry. Only one way to find out.

/// Hi Jimin, yes I can meet you today. Can we make it 12:30 please? And how about Russell Square park? It's not too far from you. ///

You don't bother waiting for him to confirm and head to the shower, hoping to wash away the mild dread creeping over you. When you come out, you see that Jimin has replied, saying he can meet you there and at that time. You don't have the strength to be courteous and ask how he'll get there. Although they were all lovely last night, what Jin said to you brought everything back to earth and you wonder if you have the courage to have that break-up conversation with Jungkook after all.
You get ready and leave your apartment, and once you reach Russell Square park, you sit at a bench near the food kiosk, texting Jimin to tell him where you are. While waiting for him, you reflect on Namjoon's potential offer. Could it give you a reason to stay with Jungkook? Regardless of whether you stay at your current job or work for Big Hit, you still won't see him for at least half the year. And would you want to give up teaching, which you loved, for a potential dream job? Can you really uproot everything, knowing you may not be with Jungkook anymore? But what if this was your chance to do what you've wanted to all your life? None of the thought processes in your head right now lead to any kind of solution and you place your head in your hands, eyes closed. These thoughts were tiring. Suddenly you hear, "Noona, are you ok?"

You look up and see Jimin standing in front of you with what looks like a halo around his head. Even Mother Nature has a soft spot for Jimin, you muse. You smile brightly, not wanting to give away your real feelings. "Hi, Jimin, had any trouble getting here?"

"Oh no, this was easy to find," he says. "Shall we sit inside a nearby cafe and talk?"

"Sure, there's a Starbucks just over there," you suggest, "It's usually not too busy." You both make the short walk there and Jimin tries to engage you in small talk. "The weather here is a bit like in Seoul, but it rains a lot more here," he says, smiling innocently. You agree with his observation and politely ask what he makes of the city.

"Oh my goodness, London is so cool. There's always something interesting to do or see," he replies, enthusiastically.

Once you're in Starbucks, you order your drinks and find a quiet table at the back. Jimin looks visibly nervous as he sits down. You look at him, waiting for him to say something first, which he does.

"So, you must be wondering why I wanted to meet. I'm close to Jungkook, we get along really well, and I'm so glad that he's been doing well here in London. For the first two weeks, he told me everything that he was doing, then suddenly he hardly kept in touch. He only text a few times, saying he was busy. I got worried because when he goes quiet like that, it's usually because something bad has happened and he doesn't want to worry us. So when we came to London, I was keen to see if he was ok."

Jimin takes a short break to drink his coffee and you wait for him to continue. "When we arrived, I saw that actually, he was really happy, and there was nothing wrong at all, so I became really confused. When I asked how everything was, he was really vague," Jimin puts his mug down and looks at you sadly. "Then when I met you, noona, and saw how Jungkook was around you, I knew why he'd been vague."

"And why do you think the reason was?" you ask, pretending not to know to see what he'll say.

"He's head over heels in love with you, noona," Jimin replies simply. You don't respond, so he continues, "He's usually not interested in girls at all, too occupied in keeping busy and focused on work. He gets bored with girls easily, and that's why they all come to me, because he doesn't give them any attention. But around you," Jimin tilts his head, "his eyes sparkle and he looks at you like you're the only person there and he wants to look after you." You look at Jimin, your eyes feeling prickly. That lump in your throat is creeping back.

Jimin explains, "He thinks the rest of us haven't noticed, but we have. We've known Jungkook since he was 15 years old, we've all looked after him for all these years. Of course we would notice when his behaviour is suddenly changes. Before, all he did was work hard to be the best he could be as part of BTS."

"I'm sorry," you say. "I really am. I knew I shouldn't have pursued it, but my feelings were too strong to ignore. I didn't know at the time how our relationship would impact his life."

Jimin pacifies you, "I'm not blaming you noona, I can see you're not an ordinary woman. In the very short time I've known you, I would understand any guy falling for you. Poor Jungkook had no chance!"

Your tears are streaming down your face now and Jimin wipes them with a napkin. You sob as you say, "I know I have to break it off with Jungkook. That's the only way I can avoid hurting him."

Neither of you notice someone approaching your table and are startled when he says "What have you done to hurt me? Why are you here with Jimin hyung?"