treacherous | ethma

4

Ethan

Emma and I were exhausted when we finally reached Denver, and frankly it was pretty late at night when we got there, so we went straight to bed.

And by that I mean we actually fell asleep right away.

I was really excited to have a night off so that I could watch Emma perform. I loved playing on stage with her, but I wanted to see the magic happen from the audience too.

My seat was a few rows from the stage, and somehow Emma knew exactly where I was at.

The music of an upbeat song she was singing faded out, and Emma put the microphone on the stand.

"This next song is something I wrote for someone who is very special to me."

The crowd cheered.

"I recently got engaged to my childhood best friend, and he's here tonight."

Emma looked in my direction. "This one's for you, honey."

One of the crew members handed Emma her acoustic guitar, and the stage was dark except for a spotlight on Emma.

She was so beautiful. She played the guitar and sang this new song about growing up, falling in love, and being there for each other through good times and bad. How it's easy with the right person, and how you feel at home when you're together.

It was my favorite song ever written.

Emma finished the rest of the show with a powerful and upbeat set of songs, and I headed back to the dressing rooms to find her once the show was done.

She was in her dressing room, so I went in and gave her a huge hug. I was so happy. "I'm so fucking proud of you, baby."

"Did you enjoy the show?"

"I loved it, Cara."

Emma leaned her head against my chest. "I love you."

I smiled. I was so proud of her, and I was so happy. "I love you more."

"Not as much as I love you." She said, smiling up at me. I kissed her lips.

"I love you the mostest."

"Ready to go party like there's no tomorrow?"

I took her hand. "As long as I get to hang out with you all night, then yes."

-
Emma

The next few weeks went by like pieces of popcorn during a great movie. We hit Vegas, Boise, Portland, and Seattle, and now we were waiting to board the plane to Texas.

I knew I was getting addicted to these pills. I started needing them more than I should have, which caused me to take more than the dose prescribed.

The turning point was in Seattle when I used a hairbrush to crush two pills and then I sniffed them up my nose. I knew I was taking a turn for the worst, but it felt good. I hated that it felt good.

I had no idea if Ethan knew or not, but maybe he did because my sex drive went ballistic. I needed more, wanted more, and craved it bad. Anywhere. Backstage in the dressing room during intermission. On the tour bus, hotel rooms, parties. Ethan was probably thinking that I was a madwoman.

I felt bad that I was keeping my problem away from him, but that could cause further damage to my life, and I didn't need anything else to change.

I took another turn for the worse when I was offered a few lines of cocaine at a party in Portland. Ethan didn't know.

It only took one night, and I was already addicted to cocaine.

I had a provider that was willing to follow the band around the country, so all I had to do was tell Ethan I was going to get ice from the machine in the hotel hallway, and then he'd never know. I'd get the ice quickly on my way back from the deals I made, and I was sure Ethan didn't know.

It wasn't until Dallas when I couldn't find my pills that I realized I was in trouble.

-
Ethan

We performed in Austin before we performed in Dallas. At this point I knew Emma was using drugs. My heart was breaking. I was losing her.

I first noticed something different about Emma while we were in Seattle. She seemed to be fully energized all the time, going to the bathroom more frequently, and she was possibly losing a little bit of weight.

Her sexual drive was through the roof. Even I couldn't keep up with it. There were multiple nights where she wanted to go more rounds, and I was too exhausted, so I had to resort to using my hands to satisfy her.

She started drinking a lot more, and that wasn't a good sign. Something was going on, and she wasn't being Emma anymore. I almost didn't recognize her at all.

I didn't know how far gone she was until I found a bottle of steroid pills in her jacket when she asked me to grab her wallet.

I stopped myself from confronting her, because maybe the doctor prescribed them to her. I didn't know.

Finally, I found Olivia the day before the performance in Dallas.

"Emma's using drugs." I said, sitting down. "I don't know what she's using, but she's not being herself, and she's showing symptoms of addiction."

"I noticed too. Do you know for sure?"

"I found steroids in her pocket. But I think it's further than that. We need to figure out what she's doing, and soon. I can't let her do this to herself. I can't lose her again."

"We're gonna help her out of this. Even if you have to confront her, if we can get her away from the drugs, it might be worth it."

"What if I lose her?"

"Emma loves you more than anything. She'd choose you."

"You might say that about Emma, but Emma isn't currently being Emma. She's being someone I don't even recognize."

"She needs support more than anything right now. We need to be there for her even if she resents is for it. She'll be grateful in the end if we get her out of this."

Oh, Emma, where did everything go wrong? How'd you get into this mess? Please let me help you. I need you. I love you.