treacherous | ethma

6

Ethan

It was only early December when we left for Connecticut. We flew in a private jet, so we got to take Chip with us too. Emma and I arranged to stay at my parents' house.

Emma still had some rough days, but she still persisted through her recovery.

One day in particular, I was watching tv when Emma came into the room, and climbed onto the couch, burrowing her face into my chest, and completely cuddling into me.

"Hey, baby." I said, putting my arm around her. "You okay?"

"It's really hard today."

I turned the volume down on the tv before I ran my hand up and down her back to soothe her. "Talk to me, Nina. Tell me what you need."

"Just hold me. Please."

"We're gonna get through this, okay? I promise. I love you so much. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you again."

"Can we sing later?"

"Of course, Nina. Music has always been therapy for us. It's what you need. It's what we need."

"I'm so lucky to have you, Ethan. I love you."

"I love you more, babe."

-

Emma

Ethan and I did in fact play a lot of music that night. Not even really anything in specific. We just flowed.

At first he just let me do my own thing on the piano, but then we ended up singing with his guitar, and me still playing the piano.

It felt so good to just sit down and play, and not have to worry about anything in the world besides Ethan and I.

He's the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Ethan is the most supportive human being on the planet.

I mean, I honestly couldn't believe he stayed with me through my drug problem.

I still can't comprehend it. He simply did his best to help me out of the situation, and he loved and supported me through it.

He's my rock whenever I'm having bad withdrawals. He always holds me until I fall asleep, and then he stays with me until I wake up again.

I was so grateful that we got to bring our dog Chip with us to Connecticut. Sometimes Chip was a great support for me.

Spending time with Ethan's family and my family helped a lot too.

Ethan, Grayson, Cameron, my sister Ava and I all went to their Grandma's house to cook a big family dinner, and it was the most fun I've had probably since before my addiction started.

Distractions were the best remedy for my withdrawals.

I just needed to stay busy. Ethan made sure I did.

Playing music, cooking, spending time with family, and walking the dog. Ethan and I even started going to the gym, and we looked at a venue for our wedding.

We decided to have a small wedding, with only us and two witnesses, but then we'll have a celebration with our family too.

So, I called Olivia and asked if she would fly to Connecticut to be a witness at our wedding.

We found a beautiful spot on Nantucket Island that was indoors, but still had an amazing view of the island.

Ethan chose his brother to be his witness, so we went the next Friday and got married.

Ethan is the absolute love of my life, and now we're finally and officially in this together forever.

We stayed in a private resort for our wedding night, drinking champagne and celebrating. Just the two of us.

We danced together, ate a small wedding cake we ordered, and made love. It was a magical night, and I don't think our wedding could've gone smoother than it did.

A few days later, Ethan and I actually went to the Hamptons in New York for a quick honeymoon trip.

It was nice to have a few days to ourselves, just us and the beach. Enjoying each other, and simply relaxing. I'm not sure if I've felt this at peace since before my addiction.

Simply being his wife made me happier than I've ever been. He's the only thing I need.

Ethan is the most important person in my life. He's my best friend, my rock, my music partner, and simply my other half. We've been best friends since we were born, and even though we were apart for a few years, that never changed.

When I was going through the drug addiction, the scariest part was almost losing Ethan. But no matter how far gone I was, I always knew I'd choose him over anything else. I always will.

There's nothing in the world that could make me not choose him.

He's my soulmate. He always had been, and always will be.

Sure, there were times where I was still going through withdrawals, but with Ethan's support, my therapy sessions over the phone, and being at home in Connecticut helped.

We got back from our weekend trip, and then decided to go back to California. I decided it was time to go back to work.

It felt so great to be back. Ethan and I spent the first few weeks working from home, and planning out the rest of the tour with Olivia. We had to move some of the tour dates to the summer, because I needed rehab.

Getting back into the swing of things was good for me. I played more piano, sang more, and even wrote some more songs. 

I produced a couple of albums, we started getting ready for the rest of the tour, and finally the week of my next performance came.

We flew out to Chicago, and as soon as the stage lights hit me, I glanced at Ethan, and he gave me a nod. 

I smiled as he started playing the first note of the song. 

I knew all I needed was Ethan, and the music. 

There in Chicago, I knew everything would be okay. I knew that our marriage was everything I ever wanted it to be. I knew that being on tour together was going to be good for me. I wasn't worried about drugs. I was just focused on being happy with my husband, and playing the music I wrote.

It was the best I've felt onstage in a long time.

I knew I was home.