When We Lie

Chapter 8

The only people you inform about your plans are FRIDAY and Happy Hogan. You inform Happy right before leaving, so he doesn't have time to get mr. Stark to stop you.

You first travel to Rome, Italy, where you check yourself into a small hotel. The staff eyes the two of you with confusion written all over their faces as you walk up to your room.

"Let's make use of that secret language you spoke about," you say in Swedish. "Rome has many tourists, but they'll be too preoccupied with sightseeing to listen to what we have to say."

Loki puts down his bag and tries the bed. "Where are we going first?"

You grin excitedly. "The Colosseum, the Arch of Titus, Fontana di Trevi, the Pantheon, the Roman forum, Pont Sant'Angelo and the Vatican!"

"You're really looking forward to this, aren't you?" Loki says and chuckle. "Was this trip for you or me?"

"Both! You need to get away from all that toxicality and I wanted to come here again."

He looks at you curiously. "You've come here before?"

You roll around on your bed and giggle. "Yes, a few years ago with my class. They always takes the third-years to Rome."

"Did you go look at all these things?"

"Yep! And then some. We walked everywhere, and some of us got blisters on our blisters. It was a nightmare, but we got to see all of Rome. I'd say the pain was worth it."

Loki frowns. "Don't tell me we are walking everywhere."

"No, of course not. I'm not going through that torture again."

"Then, will I be teleporting us?"

You shake your head and earn a surprised look from Loki. "We'll take the bus and tram. It's risky using your magic in the open like that. We can't do it all the time."

"Seems fair. Are we leaving now, or resting?"

"What do you feel like doing?"

"I want to see what's gotten you so excited."

***

Loki can't take his eyes off of the cats. There aren't that many, but still more than he's ever seen before. They're climbing the sunken ruins in the middle of the square, sometimes allowing people to pet them, sometimes swatting at them.

"It's a cat sanctuary," you say. "We walked past this place whenever we left the hotel."

"There's so many," he whispers. "Can I pet one?"

You lean closer to him and whisper, "If you turn into one, I bet you have higher chance."

He nods and walks off into the gathering crowd. A black cat with green eyes appears by your feet a few minutes later, meowing and rubbing against your feet. You pet it before watching it try to interact with the other cats. At first, they're wary of the newcomer, but after a few tries, Loki manages to play with one.

When he notices you filming him, he rolls onto his back and meows loudly. The crowd goes, "Aw!" and you chuckle.

After thirty or so minutes, Loki turns back into his human disguise. "That was fun. What's next?"

You take him to the closest bus station and takes the 64 to Via del Corso, not too far away from Fontana di Trevi. Loki is highly impressed, mostly because of the huge crowd.

"We'll come back at night," you promise. "It's even more beautiful then."

You stop a young couple and asks them to take a picture of you. Loki asks for what purpose and you say it's for remembering the day.

***

"That woman was flirting with me," Loki says in confusion and hands you your ice cream. "Asked for my number and where I'm from."

"What did you say?" You take a large scope of your ice cream and sigh in bliss. There's nothing like Italian ice cream.

Loki sits down across from you. "What we agreed on: My name's Tom Hiddleston and I'm from Britain. Though I had to explain why I spoke Swedish with an Avengers member."

You snort. "As long as you didn't compromise yourself, it's fine." You give him a teasing smile. "So, she flirted with you?"

He nods. "Next time, you're ordering the food."

You laugh and cough when you choke on your ice cream. Loki snickers and offers you his glass of water.

***

You take the buss to Forum Romanum and walk along the ruins of once pristine buildings. Loki stops to admire not the ruins, but the flowers that bloom there. You're the one that stops to take pictures of the walls and columns.

"Isn't it beautiful?" you ask, standing on a slope. "To think these used to be buildings, and that people use to live here."

Loki glances at you. "Gimme that," he murmurs and takes your phone. He puts his arm around you and hold the phone up. "Am I doing this right?"

"You are. Press the big white button in the middle." You flash the camera a big grin. He hands it back to you and you keep smiling when you see the result. "I'm going to print these out and put them in my photo album."

Loki cocks his head to the side. "Why? Is it that enjoyable taking pictures with me?"

"Yes, it is," you say, exchanging surprised looks with him. "This is a pleasant surprise, isn't it?"

"It is," he agrees.

You keep walking around until you're positive you've seen every inch of the place, and move on to the Arch of Titus.

Loki isn't even remotely impressed by the huge arch. "I find it adorable, but I've seen bigger."

A group of teenagers walking past suddenly burst out laughing. One of them says, "That's what she said," and winks at him.

He stares at them in utter confusion.

"Why are you laughing? Did I say something wrong?" he asks when you also start laughing.

You hold onto his arm and laugh until you can't breathe. When you finally compose yourself again, you give him a teasing smile. "It's a saying. How do I explain this... They interpreted your opinion as something dirty."

He gives you a blank stare. "I don't see how a comment can be dirty."

You cover your mouth and try to stop laughing. Asgardians obviously calls this phenomenon something else.

"Mortals are weird," Loki pouts and starts walking. "Where to next?"

"It's a joke about a big penis," you blurt out.

Loki turns around so fast you almost miss it. "Excuse me?"

You try not to fall into a puddle of laughter and explain to him that something can be interpreted in a sexual way, and that most people have taken to reply with "that's what he/she said".

Mortified, Loki turns around without a word and lets you take him to the Colosseum. All the while you marvel at the huge construct and the details of the place, as well as tell him all you know about it, he's pale-faced and looks confused. You pat him on the back and laugh it off. Loki shakes his head and once again says that mortals are strange.