When We Lie

Chapter 19

"Where did you travel to in your youth?" Loki asks the fourth week, sitting on the floor, reading Neil Gaiman's Odd and the Frost Giants.

"I spent at least a week of summer on Öland," you say absentmindedly, drawing Emma and Bucky. "Also, you make it sound like I'm old. I'm twenty-one, thank you very much."

He smirks and looks up from the book. "According to your math, I'm probably younger than you, anyway."

"I so regret telling you that."

"Keep talking. I want to know."

You sneak a glance at him and smile. He started reading that book only an hour ago and has come quite far. "Well, you know I visited Rome, but my maternal grandparents—adoptive, not biological—have a house in Spain they visit every summer. So I used to travel down there, too. Otherwise, when I was thirteen, my parents took me to Xiamen, Shanghai and Longyan in China. Dad was there for business for a week while mum and I were on vacation."

"Was it nice?"

"Hot as hell, but yes. I saw many beautiful places and ate odd but delicious food."

"No wonder you loved it when we were there. I personally didn't take well to the duck eggs."

You grin. "At least you didn't have to eat their feet! The last day, mum and dad were offered them as delicacies. I've never seen them so disgusted." You both laugh loudly. "And you? Have you ever been outside Asgard, or the palace?"

He stops laughing and eyes you with in disappointment. "We've already established that, but yes, I've been outside of Asgard."

You roll your eyes. "As a means to relax, not to murder people."

He frowns. "Then, no, I haven't."

"Where have you been?"

"Nifelheim, Mannaheim, Vanaheim, Jotunheim—"

"Mannaheim?" you interrupt him. "It sounds familiar."

He nods and walks over to you. "Should be, since you know so much already. Mannaheim is Earth, home of humans. Of mankind. Midgard is just a collection of Mannaheim, Alfheim and Svarthalfheim."

You excitedly nod. "And Asgard is made up of Asaheim, Vanaheim and Muspelheim, right?"

He nods in approval. "Seems like you remember after all."

You blow him a kiss. "Of course I do. I have excellent memory!" Then you remember he mentioned Jotunheim. "You've met the Frost Giants?"

Pain and panic flash across his face before he manages to mask his expression. By then, it's too late.

"Loki..."

He shakes his head. "It was a few years ago. And long story short, it got me to a bad place. I... no, let's talk about something else."

So he knows. He definitely knows he's Jotun.

Curious, you can't help but probe. "Do you hate them? The Frost Giants, I mean."

More pained expressions. "Yes."

"Does Asgardian parents tell stories about them? To their children, I mean. As a cautionary tale?"

"Well, yes, they do, but..." He looks like he's about to cry. You've pushed him too far.

"Let's watch some TV, hm?" you offer.

He returns your smile and you go sit down by the TV. You get halfway through a nature documentary when something in your mind clicks loudly. Names and faces pop up in you head and you calmly rise from the sofa.

Loki looks up at you in surprise. "Where are you going? Ah, don't bother. That door is impossible to br—" His jaw falls as you clench your first and punch the door. It's pierced by solid oxygen and you walk through the remains as if nothing's happened. "What in Muspelheim's— Wait!" Horrified, Loki runs after you. "What just happened? Why didn't you do that sooner? Can you please stop and look at me?"

You roll your eyes and form small daggers of oxygen. When the hidden door in the wall opens to reveal a concerned Vision, he's bombarded with the daggers and falls limply to the side.

"One down, a lot to go," you mutter to yourself and walk up the stairs.

"What?" Loki asks dumbfoundedly. "Who? Are going to kill them?" He takes a hold of your arm. "Wait a moment, what in hel is this about?" You glare at him and he realises what's happened. "You're activated, aren't you?"

"Took you forever to realise." You shake him off of you. "Now, where do you think they are?"

"Is Thor on your hit list?"

"He's an Avengers," you say as-a-matter-of-factly, as if THat's the answer he's seeking. Which, when he stops to think about it, it is.

He runs up to you again. 'They're your friends, your family! You will never forgive yourself if you kill them."

"Not like I have a choice, also, the fact doesn't upset me anymore."

The stairs come to an end and you try opening the door, but Loki stops you yet again. He stands in front of the door, his eyes conveying immense sadness and pain. "Is that you, or your command speaking?"

Your laugh makes him jump in surprise. "How would I know? Apparently I'm not totally Who I thought I was. Now move, or I'll add you to the list, too."

He doesn't stop you from walking past him.

"What in the world—" Cap shouts at the other end of the corridor you appear in. "How did you...?"

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news," Loki says, ramming you into the wall to stop you from hitting the man with you ability, "but they've gone Hydra."

"What?!" Cap exclaims and stops. "Is there anything you can do?"

Loki snorts and then grunts as you push him off you. Cap's shield stops your attack from mauling him. "You think I can stop that?" Loki asks rhetorically. He pauses before cursing. "You own me one, Captain!" he shouts before embracing you from behind. It feels as if the ground disappears before you find yourself in the middle of a forest.

"Where are we?" you demand to know. "Loki, what the—" You're thrown into the mossy ground with a grunt.

"To hel with you!" Loki screams angrily. "I've been working my arse off and you just— What the— Why aren't you fighting?!" He kicks a tree and it falls on the ground.

Sitting cross legged on the ground, you sigh. "Because every time I fight, they hurt me or my friends."

"You freed yourself from them!" he says accusingly. "It's been years since they laid s hand on you."

You nod in agreement. "But I haven't forgotten. I never will. And let me remind you that they now are in control of me. I have a list to follow and someone in my brain—don't look like that, why else do you think I'd kill Vision without flinching?" He whispers something you can't hear. "Loki, I have to do this. It's my job, what I was brought up to do."

"The Avengers didn't even exist twenty years ago!"

True, but it would be easy enough to add people to the hit list as time goes on. They already did so with the Avengers.

"If you knew who the people on my list are, you wouldn't be so angry," you mutter.

Loki arches an eyebrow. "Then please, be my guest. Convince me."

You grin. "Then take me to Harrijärvi."