Chapter 40I know Li Cheng Yin was glaring at me, but I didn't pay attention to him. Imperial Concubine Xian seemed so happy that she immediately ordered A'Man to go to my side. After the midnight banquet ended, we got out of the palace, where Imperial Concubine Xian had specially prepared a carriage for A'Man to follow behind my carriage.
Palace banquets are a very tiring matter, especially with having to wear many heavy hairpins in the hair. The carriage was shaking, so much that my neck was about to break off. I pulled out the heavy hairpins, slowly breathed, and hope that these days will never come again.
Finally the carriage stopped, the curtain was lifted, an eunuch holding a lantern stood outside, and placed a stool to allow me to get off the carriage. When I was about to get off, Li Cheng Yin suddenly dismounted, rushed forward in a rage, and kicked the stool over. The eunuchs were so scared that they moved back and kneeled far away.
"What are you doing?" I couldn't help but ask.
He stretched his arm, like an eagle catching a chick, pulling me out of the carriage.
A'Du wanted to help me, but Pei Zhao quietly reached out his hand to stop her. Li Cheng Yin carried me on his shoulder. I yelled at him, then I saw A'Du and Pei Zhao were fighting, but Pei Zhao's martial arts were very good, A'Du couldn't just rush over. I yelled at Li Cheng Yin, kicking and biting him, pinching his waist, pulling out the white jade that was attached to his belt, however he carried me all the way into the main palace hall.
"Bang!"
My head had bumped into the porcelain pillow, very painful! Li Cheng Yin just threw me onto the bed like throwing a bag of rice. I got up immediately, but he pushed me down with his arm. I hadn't fought in so many months, the movements of my limbs were slow. The two of us were close to tearing down the main palace hall. A servant who was standing by the door looked inside, and Li Cheng Yin threw a vase at him, 'bang' almost hitting him. The servant was so scared that he moved back and conveniently closed the door. I was gasping for air during the fight. At last, I was exhausted, not moving at all. I stopped struggling, Li Cheng Yin became more gentle.
Li Cheng Yin was still hugging me from behind, he seemed to like hugging people this way. My head was resting on his arm, but it wasn't comfortable.
He must be tired too, he was breathing at my neck, making it very itchy. What he muttered were sweet words used to deceive me.
I did not say anything.
A long time have passed but he didn't say anything, I turned around and he fell asleep with his head bent.
I reached out my hand to touch his eyelids, he fell in a deep sleep, motionless.
I slowly got up, fixing my skirt, then opened the window. A'Du came in quietly and gave me a pair of scissors.
I sat under the light and began to cut my nails carefully.
Carefully so that the white powder under my fingernails would not be blown by my breathing.
This drug was very effective, I had only injured him a bit by scratching the skin on his arm and now he was in a deep sleep.
After I finished cutting my nails, I washed my hand to make sure there wasn't any drug left before I changed into black clothing.
A'Du passed the knife to me. I saw Li Cheng Yin who was asleep, and thought to myself with one slit, even gently slitting his neck, all the hatred would vanish.
He slept uncomfortably. Although he was under the effect of the drug, his eyebrows were slightly wrinkled, eyes under the eyelids slightly moved, he seemed to be dreaming of something. I gently placed the ice cold knife by his neck. He was unconscious, as long as I use a bit of force, I could easily cut open his throat.
The corners of his mouth moved slightly, as if he was dreaming about something painful. I slowly used force, and blood slowly dripped onto the knife blade, already cut through his skin. If I exerted more force.....It seemed he felt the pain through his dream, the muscle in his face began to distort, his fingers twitching, as if he wanted to grab something. He seemed to have wanted to shout, but the sound was so faint that I could hardly hear it.
My hand trembled, the knife had fallen to the ground. A'Du thought that Li Cheng Yin was awake, so she rushed forward. I covered my face with my hands.
I finally remembered that when I fell into the river of forgetfulness three years ago, he jumped down with me. He grabbed me, falling through the wind......He held me while we were spinning in the wind......He kept on trying to grab the edges of the mountain, but we fell too fast, we fell together with the broken rocks, as if they were stars in the sky falling like rain......Just like that night at the riverside, countless fireflies flying from our sleeves, like a brilliant meteor shower, shining on his face and my face......He was only looking at me......I kept on dreaming about this again and again, however I didn't know the person in my dream was him.
Until I remembered the things that happened three years ago, however I couldn't remember the words he had said to me, as the wind was blowing through my ears.
Apparently those words were: "I will forget with you."
We were submerged in the ice cold jade-colored water of the river of forgetfulness as the water surged. I was breathing heavily in the water, swallowing in and spitting out the ice cold water. He jumped down to grab me, only saying those words to me.
"I will forget with you."
All the disaster and danger, everything, he knew, feeling sorry toward me.
At the top of the river of forgetfulness, when he didn't hesitate to jump down with me, he actually wanted to forget, just like me, forget everything.
He also knew that Gu Xiao Wu was dead, just like me, drowned in the river of forgetfulness.
Both of us are lonely ghosts, we never really lived. I used three years of having forgotten the past to live life carelessly, while he used three years of having forgotten the past to erase everything from the past.
In this world, who had suffered more?
In this world, forgetting perhaps would always make one feel happier than remembering.
A'Du picked up the knife and passed it back to me.
I didn't have the courage to kill.
I stared at his face, even in his dreams, he still looked miserable. The little prince he spoke of many years ago, lived very pitifully, just like him. In this Eastern Palace, he did not have any relatives, was always alone in this world, and walked alone on the path to the throne. Along the way he sacrificed all his emotions, passion, compassion and everything he had cherished. Perhaps forgetting is a better punishment for him, he will never know that I had once loved him that way.
I pulled A'Du, turned around to leave.
Li Cheng Yin had asked Pei Zhao to arrange a dozen of skilled martial artists to guard me, but because tonight I had gotten into a fight with Li Cheng Yin, the movements were so big that these people had already retreated, so A'Du and I were able to successfully get out of the main palace hall.
Escaping the Eastern Palace was a common occurrence to us. This time we have been planning for a while, not only to find out the patrol time of the Yu Lin army, but also taking advantage of the hottest days of the sixth month, the redeployment of the servants in the Eastern Palace, leaving a small side door open long ago. Along the way, A'Du and I avoided people, just followed the palace walls that were twisting and turning. I was about to approach the small door that appeared in front of my eyes, but A'Du suddenly pulled me.
I saw Yong Niang standing there alone, holding a lantern, the lantern being shook by the wind. She looked around from time to time, as if she was waiting for someone.
A'Du and I hid behind a cluster of green bamboos for a long time, however Yong Niang still stood there.
I pulled A'Du's sleeve, A'Du understood, slowly pulling out the golden inlaid knife, quietly walking towards Yong Niang.
Suddenly Yong Niang sighed and sat down hugging her knee.
A'Du used the knife handle to lock Yong Niang's acupuncture points. Yong Niang's body became stiff, unable to move.
I reached my arms out to hug her stiff body, whispered: "Yong Niang, I am leaving, but I will miss you."
In this Eastern Palace, only Yong Niang was like A'Du, taking care of me in every way possible.
Yong Niang's mouth was slightly opened, but her acupuncture points were sealed, so she couldn't make any sound. I hugged her with force, I could feel her chest beating very hard. Something hard poked and hurt me, I didn't know what it was, so I took a look at it. Apparently it was a bag of gold leaves. Yong Niang's eyes were staring at me as her eyes slowly filled with tears. Blinking her eyes at me, I could feel water droplets form in my nose, suddenly I realized that she had been waiting here for me.
This bag of gold leaves, she was planning to give me all along.
I didn't know what to say, she used to force me to read books, learn the palace rules, do this do that, force me to please Li Cheng Yin.....So I guarded against her when I was preparing the plan to escape.
I didn't predict that she would be able to see through this, and still choose not to report it to Li Cheng Yin. If she did tell Li Cheng Yin, we would have never been able to leave.
In this Eastern Palace, apparently there was still someone who treats me with utmost sincerity.
A'Du pulled my sleeve, I know if I stayed here any longer, it would be more dangerous when people found out. With tears in my eyes, I hugged Yong Niang one last time again with force before I pulled A'Du to head towards the small door to escape.
The door was for part-time servants to enter and leave. There was a small alley outside the door, which we went through. We passed by many houses, went past the east market, and arrived at Mi Luo's wine shop by the time it was almost daylight.
Mi Luo was waiting for us. She whispered: "The city gate in the west direction will be checked very strictly, I'm afraid that it would not be easy to escape. Today there will be a group of Goryeo merchants that will be heading out of the city. They were planning to head to the northeast direction, but I bribed the leader of the group to allow you both to go with them. Those Goryeo merchants are short, if you stand in the middle, it will not be arouse suspicion." She had already prepared for us the clothes of the Goryeo people, as well as their hats and beards. After A'Du and I finished dressing up in the clothes, wearing the beard and putting on the hat, we looked in the bronze mirror. We looked like two Goryeo merchants.
At this time the sky was already bright, people were walking on the streets. The inn was bustling, the shop next door had opened their doors, the boss lady was brushing her teeth with a tree branch, and the chubby boss was yawning and talking to Mi Luo. The Goryeo merchants came downstairs and spoke so fast as if they were saying a tongue twister, talking in the Goryeo language. Ever since General Pei Kuang had pacified Goryeo, the business relations between Central Plains and Goryeo have become more frequent. After all, Goryeo merchants stand to gain a lot of profit from trading the goods of the Central Plains as there were a lot of good items that Goryeo merchants could not bear to leave behind.
We ate breakfast with the Goryeo merchants, packed our belongings and then headed out to the city gate. This group of Goryeo merchants have numerous caravans of horses carrying goods, bringing ginseng and herbs from Goryeo to sell here, then buying silk cloth and tea leaves in the Capital to bring back to Goryeo. The caravans were in the yard for loading of the goods, and the horses were waiting in the yard for loading. Boxes of goods were being loaded onto the horses' backs. The bells on the horses' necks along with the loud noises of the Goryeo language being spoken, was loud and lively.
A'Du and I rode on horses with the caravans, following them to head out of the city gate. As expected, the city gate was strictly inspected. Some people said a prisoner had escaped from jail, so all nine city gates were strictly inspected. The city gate that was strictest in terms of inspection was the one in the west direction. It was said that anyone who wants to leave through the western gate today will be searched one by one, and anyone who seemed slightly suspicious will be detained and sent to the government office. A'Du and I have ulterior motives, so the rumored escaped prisoner must be us.
Because everyone had to be questioned, the line at the gate kept getting longer and longer. The wait made me feel very anxious. By the time it was our turn, the guard at the gate carefully examined the travel paper, counted the number of people in our group, and then frowned: "How come there are two more people?"
The leader of the Goryeo merchants used hand gestures to respond because he had not mastered the Central Plains language. After a while the guard understood what he was trying to say, that they had met two of their hometown companions in the Capital who were originally detained in the Capital before the war. Now that they heard the war has brought peace, they decided to return back together.
That guard said: "No, there are only fourteen people listed in the travel paper, I only can allow fourteen people, no more than that."
I suddenly came up with an idea, pointing to myself and A'Du, learning the way Goryeo people speak the Central Plains language: "We two, stay. They go."
The guard looked at us, thinking before handing back the travel paper to the leader of the group, and pointed at the two Goryeo merchants behind us, said: "Both of them can stay. You guys can go."
