Chapter 42The moment you all have been waiting for is here. I hope you enjoy reading it with a box of tissue. Originally this novel only has 42 chapters and an epilogue, but the author decided to extend the novel with five side stories in the new version. The side stories are in no particular order, some talks about the past, while others talk about the events after chapter 42. ......................
My heart suddenly sank.
A'Du and I were already heading towards the gate.
I heard a loud shout from a distance: "Close the gate! His Highness has ordered for the gate to be closed!"
The guards hurriedly pushed the gate, wanting to close it.
We watched the gate get closer and closer, the bright lights in between the doors of the gate became less and less. Those people used all their strength to push the gate close, which became narrower and closer, until there was only a gap left for a horse to pass through. I could see there wasn't much time left. A'Du's horse was in front of me, she turned around wanting to pull me to her horse, but I raised my hand and whipped her horse. The horse was in pain, hissed and finally jumped out of the gate.
As the gate closed, I saw A'Du looking back at me in a panic. She turned around wanted to rush back, but the heavy gate closed. Her knife had already been inserted into the gate door, but nothing could be changed. The gate was locked, and the bolt came down. I could hear her desperately trying to cut open the bolt, the futile chopping created sparks that splashed up like stars. She couldn't speak, and she couldn't make any sound, I watched the tip of her knife chopping the door, and every chop was in vain.
The Yu Lin army had already rushed forward. I turned around heading towards the gate tower to climb up it. When I reached the top of the gate tower, I could see A'Du standing alone pounding at the gate. This well built gate versus her alone, how could she break it open? When I saw her crying silently, I suddenly remembered He Shi. He entrusted me to Adu, so isn't that entrusting A'Du to me? If I wasn't here, A'Du wouldn't have survived for this long, it's the same as if A'Du wasn't here, I would've died already.
Because of the death of the Turkic people, A'Du have had to suffer a thousand, ten thousand times more pain and loneliness than me. Twenty-thousand Turks have died as a result of the Yue Zhi and the Central Plain's trap, but because of this deep hatred, she stayed with me in the Central Plains for three years.
Now, I just feel sorry for her.
The Yu Lin army have already reached to the bottom of the gate tower, and countless people surrounding Li Cheng Yin have already dismounted and stepped down. I could hear their footsteps, they were climbing up the gate tower.
I didn't have any fear, just stood there quietly.
Li Cheng Yin's neck was wrapped with a white cloth, if my knife had went a little deeper, he might not be able to stand here again.
He looked at me as he came towards me, every time he came closer, I stepped back. I kept on moving back until I was no longer able to move back, I stepped back until I was on top of the battlement. The wind blew my sleeves, making some noise, just like that day when we were on top of the river of forgetfulness. I stood on the edge of the cliff, beneath me were fogs covering the deep abyss.
Li Cheng Yin looked at me with a deep gaze, he finally said: "Are you this reluctant to be my wife?"
I laughed, but didn't answer.
He asked me: "What's so good about Gu Xiao Wu?"
My heels were already in midair, only the tips of my feet were still standing on the battlement, on the verge of falling. The Yu Lin army were standing far away, silently looking at me. Li Cheng Yin's gaze was very complicated, as if there was pain along with sadness.
It was like the dream, everything was like three years ago, the last three years have been spent in vain, but nothing has been changed.
I said: "What's so good about Gu Xiao Wu, I will never tell you."
Li Cheng Yin suddenly laughed: "It's a pity he's already dead."
Yeah, unfortunately he was already dead.
He said: "If you go back with me, I will not blame you, I will still be good to you. Whether you're still thinking about that Gu Xiao Wu, if you're willing to come back with me, I won't talk about this matter again."
I laughed and said: "If you promise me one thing, then I will go back with you."
He didn't show any expression on his face, but asked: "What is it?"
I said: "I want you to catch a hundred fireflies for me."
He was slightly shocked, as if he was looking at me with great difficulty. My vision was blurred, but I still smiled: "The river of forgetfulness, to forget a love ......The water of the river of forgetfulness have allowed me to forget you for three years, but didn't allow me to forget you forever."
Tears flowed down my cheeks, as I smiled and said: "Such as you who have always forgotten, how nice would that be."
He stared at me as if he didn't understand what I was talking about, I also didn't know my own expression, I was trying to smile at him, but I was crying instead. I said: "This time, I really will forget you forever."
I turned around, like a bird flying in the sky, like a butterfly landing on a flower, I jumped down without hesitation. I know that down there was no river of forgetfulness, but only sharp gravel. Jumping down from here would mean certain death.
I could hear countless people screaming, Li Cheng Yin hurriedly pulled out his belt and wrapped it around my hand. Everything was being repeated what happened three years ago. My whole body was forcibly being pulled by him in midair, and he was thrust down by me, falling to the edge of the battlement. He was grabbing onto the edges of the battlement with one hand, while using the other hand to pull me up. The blue veins in his hand had burst when he exerted too much force, and the wound on his neck began to bleed, which must have burst open, but he didn't let go of his hand, he shouted: "Someone come!"
I knew that once the Yu Lin army came to help, there would be no chance anymore, so I raised my hand, a light flashed, he shouted: "No!"
I cut his belt, the thin silk was tearing apart in midair, I tried my best to give him a smile one last time: "I will forget you, Gu Xiao Wu."
I saw the look of dismay in his eyes, and the blood that was slowly flowing from his neck. He seemed to have suffered a sudden shock, but he suddenly looked backwards. I saw blood pouring out of his wound and dripping onto my face. I looked at him with a smile. He tried very hard to get a hold of me, he missed only by a short bit, his fingertips only touched the wind, and his grim voice rang in my ear: "It's me.....Xiao Feng......I am Gu Xiao Wu....."
I knew that he has finally remembered, this was my biggest revenge on him. The massacre he lead three years ago had buried our feelings for each other; three years later was the same, I have cut everything between us.
I saw him lean forward, maybe he wanted to jump down with me like three years ago, but here it was not the river of forgetfulness, jumping down from here would cause one to be crushed to death. I saw Pei Zhao pulling him back, however I could see that he used his hand to hit Pei Zhao on the chest. He must have used all his strength, I could see Pei Zhao spitting out blood, but Pei Zhao did not let go, more people rushed forward, dragging him.
The sky was blue......The sound of the wind was ringing in my ears, everything slowly disappearing before my eyes.
I could see myself sitting on the sandy hill, watching the sun gradually disappear, my own heart slowly sinking. The sun finally disappeared, and could not be seen, the sandy hill from afar covering the sun. The sky and the ground was covered by darkness, the last bit of light can not be seen.
I could see the onlookers laughing, a lot of Turks don't believe that the White-Eyed Wolf King was really killed by Gu Xiao Wu, so they still have a bit of disdain. He grasped onto the bow as if he was playing a stringed instrument, using his fingers to pull the bowstring. As the bowstring shook making some sound, the onlookers laughed even louder. In the midst of the sound of laughter, he however shot down one hundred bats.
I could see countless fireflies flying in the air, like ten million shooting stars passing through our fingers, when the God released the shooting stars, it must be like this. Thousands of fireflies surrounding us, gently flying in all directions, like the golden rays of light from shooting stars breaking through the darkness. I remember the song about the God and the person that the God longed for, standing in the galaxy, that was gorgeous and bright like this.
I could see myself standing at the top of the river of forgetfulness, my heel was already in the air, the wind beneath the cliff made me unable to stand still, shaking and falling any moment, the wind blowing at my sleeves, which was like a thin blade, hitting my arm. He didn't dare to move closer, I said to him: "I have misjudged you, now the country is in ruins, the God wanted to torture me as punishment." I said one word after another: "For all lifetimes, I will forget you forever!"
I could see myself at the night of our wedding. When he lifted my veil, I felt the surrounding had brightened, the bright candle lights shining on his face. He was wearing a black robe with decorative designs embroidered on it. A few months ago, I was urged by Yong Niang to memorize a Book of Rites, memorizing it until I know it by heart, knowing that the black robe and crimson garment was mentioned in Chapter 9. Chapter 5 mentioned about clothing, dragon, mountain, caterpillar, fire, sacrificial vessel. Chapter 4 mentioned about clothing, aquatic grasses, rice flour, and embroidery. A list of different white cotton yarns, embroidery on collars.
He wore a ceremonial robe and crown with nine white pearls on each tassel, fine silk strips hanging around the ears, a sharp hairpin holding the crown in place, making one's appearance look very magnificent.
At that time, I thought it was my first time seeing him. However I didn't know that I have seen him before, under the cold moon.
The last thing I thought of was the moment when I cut the belt apart, the tears in his eyes.
However it was too late, we have struggled for three years and still we have ended up falling in love with each other. This was the punishment given by God, anyone who have drank the water of the river of forgetfulness was supposed to forever forget, forever forget the other person.
I peacefully closed my eyes, falling down very fast, just waiting to be crushed to death.
The fall has finally come to a stop, I haven't felt the pain that I had imagined. I opened my eyes, A'Du's cold arms were wrapped around me, although she had jumped up, no one in this world could withstand such a huge force falling down, I could almost clearly hear her bones crack, she used her body as a meat pad to prevent me from landing on the ground. I saw blood flowing from her ears, nose and eyes, and I shouted: "A'Du!" My legs were in pain, I couldn't stand up at all, I struggled to get up. I was so overwhelmed that I wanted to hold her, but the slight touch seemed so painful, the expression in her eyes were painful. She looked at me, her dark eyes looked so calm and without a trace of blame. The expression in her eyes was as if I have done something naughty, or like before, when I wanted to bring her out on the streets. I hugged her and whispered her name.
I already knew that I wouldn't be able to return to Western Liang. I wanted her to leave first, but I felt sorry for her, I knew she wouldn't leave me alone in this world. I also knew that I wouldn't leave her alone in this world. A'Du had already closed her eyes, no matter how many times I called out her name, she would not know.
I heard the sound of the gate opening, thousands of soldiers were rushing towards us, I knew everyone was still thinking of bringing me back to that painful world, bringing me back to that lonely Eastern Palace. However, I don't want to suffer like that anymore.
I said to A'Du: "Let's go back to Western Liang together."
I picked up A'Du's golden inlaid knife, A'Du had used it to chop the huge iron bolt, so there were a lot of little cracks on the knife. I stabbed myself deep into the chest, but I didn't feel any pain. Maybe it was because I have already suffered from the most painful thing in this world. Compared to that, what is death?
The blood was flowing out, I held onto A'Du's hand with my hands that were covered with blood, slowly lying down beside her. I know that we can finally go home.
All of my body temperature and consciousness slowly faded away, and the darkness gradually enveloped me. I seem to be able to see Gu Xiao Wu, he was riding his horse towards me. I know he was not dead, but he was just helping me catch one hundred fireflies.
Right now I wanted him to tie his belt on me, this way he will never leave me.
I swallowed my last breath with a smile.
The earth was so cold, as if someone was singing the song:
"A fox sitting on the sandy hill, sitting on the sandy hill, looking at the moon. Oh, it was not looking at the moon, it was waiting for the shepherd girl to return......A fox sitting on the sandy hill, sitting on the sandy hill, basking in the sun......Oh.....It turns out that it wasn't basking in the sun, it was waiting for the girl who was riding a horse to return......"
It turns out that the fox was unable to wait for the girl all along.
