Calum
Me and Ash are just walking around the hallway after the bell rang when we saw the dickhead coming towards us with his new group of 'friends'.
"Well look who it is." he raises his head slightly.
"What the fuck do you want?" I say to him taking one step closer.
"Just knock it off, Michael." Ashton says, going in between us as he pushed us away from each other.
"Dick." I spat out as I removed Ashton's hand on my chest. The whole hallway was already packed as I make my way out of the exit, shoving everyone off.
"Calum." Ashton's voice echo through the parking lot but I carried on pacing as I search for my car. "Hey." he finally caught up.
"Look, I can't stand that guy anymore." I turned to him as I feel my jaw clench making him take a few steps back.
"Calm down, Calum. Your anger won't help anything." Ashton states as I can sense him tense up. "When will you guys go back to being good friends again? It's been two years."
"It's been two years and I can go longer than that." I state.
"No you can't. You guys have been friends since you both still had no idea about everything. You can't let a single girl fuck over your friendship." Ashton says as he leaned against the hood of my car.
"He ruined my relationship with Coleen how do you expect me to be fucking okay with that?" I thought I was ready to forgive Michael but I remembered the reasons to never talk to that dick again. "Besides, he is acting like it's my fault that we turned out like this." I added.
"It's been two fucking years, Calum. Man I hate to say this but Coleen is already over you."
"I know." At that moment I swear my heart stopped beating, I felt a sudden ache inside, the same pain I felt when I knew she was gone.
"Why can't you just move on?" Ashton asks as he looks at me.
"I would've done that before if it was that easy." I fight back a laugh but I know I sounded annoyed.
"I guess that's what you get from letting your whole world revolve on someone. You fell for her but she didn't catch you, now you're falling to pieces."
***
I went straight to my room and threw my bag on the corner. I was about to flop down on my bed, but I saw it. The pills that I needed to take. The transparent container that I had with me for two years, lying on the table, with me resisting the urge to take it but at the same time forcing myself to start taking it again. I promised Shaylene to take them again, but why do I have to do it? It seems like I'm doing this for her and I hate the fact that she's the reason to take them now. But I wanted to do it. For some reasons, I didn't want to let her down. I kind of liked it that I'm doing myself and her a favor.
But of all the things that she wishes me to do why would it have to be this? It could've been for me to stop acting like a dick to her or something. But she didn't, she wanted me to be better. Instead of wanting me to act a bit nicer to her, she wanted for something that would make me feel better. I can't believe that this is what I'm getting for basically fucking her up.
I grabbed the container, and sat down on the edge of the bed.
Why should I do this?
You're doing this for yourself, Calum.
I took a deep breath and took a pill out of the container.
I know I need this, I need myself back. I want to forget everything but at the same time I don't. Coleen made a huge impact on me, but now she's gone. I don't even know what to do. I don't know if I could ever find happiness again but I wanted to be better.
