Today was... interesting. Yesterday Sam told me that he wanted to take me to a clinic so I wouldn't be overwhelmed, but our mother told him that I could suck it up and deal with it. So I told her that I was moving out, she didn't care, I packed up my stuff, and stayed with Sam and Joseph. Sam woke me up this- yesterday, morning, and I did NOT, want to get up, it was like there was lead in my veins.
"Please don't make me wake up." I pleaded, having forgotten what day it was.
"Danny, we can't be late for the funeral. Believe me, I would much rather let you sleep in than make you get up and give a eulogy in front of a hundred people, but we all need closure, especially you." Sam said. I groaned and sat up. "That's my brother." Sam said, clapping, and I glared at him. "Okay, the clapping is over."
I got up, got dressed, and purposely didn't eat breakfast so that I wouldn't throw up during the eulogy. Once we were all 3 ready, we all headed to the funeral home where the service was being held, and went in. Sam was right, there was at least a hundred people there, and I got nauseated thinking about it. Tori came to us with tears in her eyes. "Sam, I'm glad you came. Danny... thank you for agreeing to give the eulogy, I don't think I could handle it today."
"It's an honor to be able to tell people who he was." I said, and Tori smiled at me sadly. Tori looked up at the clock.
"Oh, it's about to start, you better get up there." Tori said and gave me a quick hug. I walked down the aisle and took my place behind the podium.
"Hello, my name is Daniel Jacob Feldman. 4 days ago was the worst day of my life, and trust me, that's saying a lot. 4 days ago was the day my best friend, Tesla Jefferson Lewis... died. We've been best friends since we were 8, he rescued me from some bullies and we quickly became friends. It's because of him, and only because of him, that I ever even spoke a word to the love of my life. We've been through everything together, death, birth, weddings, funerals, insane parents. Life. We would do anything for each other. We always took comfort in each other through the hard times, and celebrated with each other during the good. He was more than a step-brother to me, he was my-"
"Oh my goodness! My water broke!" I heard Tori shout, and I ran over to her.
"Danny, call an ambulance, I'll stay with her." Rachel said, going into doctor mode. I ran to the telephone, dialed 999, and gave the dispatcher the details. I hung up and went back to the girls.
"How's she doing?" I asked.
"You know, you could ask me yourself." Tori replied testily.
"The ambulance will be here in 10 minutes." I said, and we waited with Tori until it got there. "We'll meet you there with Annie."
"You better not be driving, Danny." Tori said in a warning tone.
"Don't worry, I'll drive." Rachel said, Tori let out a sigh of relief, and was taken into the ambulance. "Come on Annie, let's go." We headed out to the car and got in. On the way to the hospital there was an awkward silence, and I was relieved when we finally got there. This was the third time I'd been there this week. We all went in to the hospital and up to the admissions desk. "Hello, we're here for Victoria Ardan-Lewis. This is her daughter, Annie, and we're her best friends." The nurse looked at her clipboard and pointed to a waiting room. "Thank you." We went into the waiting room and sat down, and the awkward silence was back. "Annie, how do you feel about having a new baby brother?" Annie just shrugged. Rachel didn't know because she wasn't around, but Annie is very reserved, and had become even more so since Tess's death. The awkward silence continued for quite a while, and Annie fell asleep. "Danny, we're going to have to talk at some point."
"Fine, talk." I said. Rachel sighed, clearly exasperated.
"What exactly do you want me to say? I've told you I'm sorry a million times." Rachel said.
"I want you to mean it." I said.
"I do mean it, why do you think I came back here?" Rachel asked.
"I don't know." I said, and a few minutes go by without a word spoken between us. "I'm moving out of the house."
"Really? That's great!" Rachel said, and I gave her a look. "That's not great? Danny, you know I can't read your mind."
"You think it's great that I'm leaving my own mother behind?" I asked, genuinely curious.
"Frankly, yes. That relationship has been toxic for as long as I've known you." Rachel answered honestly.
"Am I the only one who didn't know this?" I asked in disbelief.
"Yes." Rachel said, and the silence that followed was much more comfortable. "I really am sorry, you know."
"I know, it really is okay, it was just as much my fault as yours." I said, Rachel smirked.
"Thanks." Rachel said, and with that weight off our chests, we made light conversation until the doctor came in.
"Congratulations, your friend has given birth to a brand new baby boy. Would you like to come see them?" The doctor asked, and we nodded. I picked Annie up and we walked to the room. The doctor knocked.
"Come in." A very tired Tori called from the other side of the door, and we went in. Tori was holding the baby in her arms, and we sat down. "Danny, Rachel, meet Tesla Jacob Lewis." Tori said, and my head snapped up at the mention of my middle name. "Named after his father and his father figure. Do you want to hold him, Danny?" Tori asked me, and I nodded. She gently laid him in my outstretched arms. He was beautiful.
YOU ARE READING
The Five Stages of Grieving: A Journal by Daniel Jacob Feldman
General Fiction"I didn't sleep at all last night. Why? Today has been the worst day of my life. Today... My best friend, Tesla Jefferson Lewis... died." Join me on a journey into the mind of Daniel J. Feldman, a British grief counselor who has just lost his lifelo...
