Luka: Shattered Past

2nd November 2009

Dear Diary,
                    I feel really ill today, Juleka got super scared but so far, I haven't got worse so I think I'll be ok. Juleka told dad about it and he screamed about not having money to afford medicine and how it shouldn't be wasted on me. I guess he's right, we don't even have enough money to pay the bills. Though I wish he didn't have to yell and throw more bottles around. Juleka nearly cut her foot the other day because my dad never cleans it up. I'm really worried about dad, yesterday he cried non-stop and a part of me hoped that he would go back to how he used to be, when he was happy and he used to play the guitar with me, I was a baby toddler back then. Now every time I mention something music related he gets very angry. Mom and dad have been arguing a lot more lately, something about him not going out to work. I feel sad. Though I still have hope things will be better.

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The cold air could chill any person to the bone in that apartment. Their parents couldn't afford the heating bill so the children had to make do with thick blankets.

As the younger one slept she was woken up by a sound that just got louder.

(Cough cough)

She stirred awake, looking for the sound, identifying it coming from the bed opposite to hers.

"Oh no, Luka are you ok?!" Juleka asked as she fully woke up and noticed her brother's condition, jumping out of bed and going over to him.

With a raspy voice he pushed himself up slowly and responded "Yeah, I'm ok Jules. Don't worry. It's most likely a cold, the weather has been freezing lately."

Juleka felt guilty, knowing that Luka purposely gave her the thicker blanket as to not suffer the cold too badly, he must've been freezing all night.

"Hold on, I'll ask dad for help. Be right back!" Her brother's eyes widened and before he could stop her she sprinted off.

Luka tried to simply move out of bed to go after her but felt immediately weak and collapsed back into bed. He prayed that his dad wouldn't lash out at her.

He got his answer a minute later as he heard his dad shouting yet again about money and Juleka dashing back into bedroom, with glossy tearful eyes. She sat back on her bed in defeat as her brother, unable to hug or comfort her, he recalled to his sister about secretly watching their father breakdown and cry the day before. Trying to convince her that their father still loved her and that Luka himself will recover soon enough.

As Juleka was drawing in Luka's old colouring book, he laid down in bed. Feeling emptiness and bodily pain. Distraught that his father refused not only food, but medicine too.

He fell asleep, reminiscing the old times when his father was joyful and pleasant, along with the faint sounds of young giggles and harmony between the two.