Luka: Shattered Past

12th August 2010

Dear Diary,
                    I just want to disappear. Dad hit me again. Today he was about to hit Juleka. I always take the hit. It was better that way. Dad has never hit Juleka before. He hits me when he is really, really angry or drunk. And like usual when we are hiding in our bedroom with the door barricaded, mom would try to calm him down, he would hit her a few times as well. Me and Juleka would cry, unable to protect her. He's a monster. I hate him. I hate him so much.

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This was never going to end. The Couffaine siblings concluded to themselves.

Beyond the thin walls of their shared bedroom, their father was in a furious rage.

Luka had a bruise around his eye, along with redness that was formed by previous tears.

Their courageous mother was trying to tame the monster that refused to leave their lives.

Horrific screams roared. It was a battle that truly felt never-ending.

The two fragile children held each other, the younger shivering and sobbing within the arms of her older brother.

Luka on the other hand, felt so numb. All he could do was sing to himself to block out the noise. Music was always his form of escapism.

When a soft knock came to their door, they knew who it was. They rushed to it, opening it to reveal their mother in a broken state. They all sat down and huddled for company.

For the first time in Luka's life. His mother cried. The strongest and most fierce no non-sense woman he knew. Broke down like never before, she was vulnerable for the first time.

He couldn't take it anymore, he and Juleka hugged her tight. Luka wasn't going to let him hurt his mother and sister anymore. This was the final straw, next time he won't cower in fear of his wretched father.

That night, their mother fell asleep in their bedroom to stay away from the man they once knew fondly many years ago. He wasn't family anymore to him.

As his family snoozed away, he got out his diary and decided to try writing a poem. Poetry was usually Juleka's talent but he wanted to try and get his feelings out some way as he couldn't make any noise at this time.

His scarred little hand wrote another entry, along with a poem from his heart on a new blank page...

'So many memories ponder through my mind, many were words that I should leave behind.

I've been trying not to show it because my desperate heart is afraid deep below it.

To keep on praying for these feelings to go away, but no matter how it always tends to stay.

Everything is like a bad dream, one that cannot seem to disappear but instead screams.

I cannot be here any longer, all these emotions want to only consistently reconquer.

For my tired soul it's too much pain, and it's driving my body and senses insane.

Every night all I hear is harsh violence, for once all I can wish is for there to be silence.

However it's all fighting beyond these cracked walls, up and down the empty sterile halls.

All I can imagine are 'brighter times', no more broken promises and empty crimes.

Upon my cheek, wet and sour tears go down from my eyes, my sadness ever to rise.

His actions and wild lashings frighten me, a normal loving father he can never be.

Deep down I want to believe it's not true.  To those above I'm so scared, what can I do?'

Young Luka held his book dearly as he fell into slumber too.

His song rapidly losing its own heart and rhythm.