You could feel it in every move he made. It felt like a heater had been turned up to full or you were laid on the Tatooine desert dressed in full winter gear; when he entered the room a slither of sweat would worm its way down your neck and into the...
The chapter is named after a very simple love poem by Zenodotos which says "Who carved Love and placed him by this fountain, thinking he could control such fire with water?" because if that isn't an explanation of their whole relationship I don't know what is.
Someone messaged asking about my characters sexualities (now, I like to think no one gives a shit in space and just likes whatever they like, but I'll try to explain it in an earthly way):
Kylo: likes people who scream at him. Lieutenant: Kylo Levi: Bisexual, by usually prefers men. Alika: wants sex but hates people, (her own reflection) Kalea: Has no idea JD-1: rocks and shiny things.
(sidenote: i do have a lesbian and non-binary character planned but they come in a lot later)
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Radio silence.
You sign your name on the dotted line and what do you get in return? — silence.
No aggressive pulls into hallways. No datapad commands. No secret rendezvous'.
You stick notes to your walls while JD-1 and Levi watch from your bed. Aggressively stabbing pins into a corkboard so hard that they bend. A day of silence isn't bad. People have lives. He's a Commander—
A page rips.
—but he should pay attention to you. Or at least send a 'busy today! Hope you have a great morning' message (Okay, so the message would be slightly out of character, but it would be a start)
"The energy is this room feels very threatening" Levi says, voice cautious, "And your walls look you've hit a psychotic break"
You stand back. If psychopathy equates to being a genius — then maybe he's right. When stuck with pieces of a puzzle, you should put the pieces you have together and then find the gaps. This was your puzzle. Scattering of post-its with everything you knew tangled together on a web of thread.
You were sure that all of this was paramount to your understanding.
And it keeps him off your mind, you thought.
"Okay" you spread your arms, "Here's what we know"
"One—" you slap you hand on the scan of the symbol, "— The weird church, the symbol and Hellford must be connected somehow"
Levi scoffs, "Bit obvious"
"Please don't interrupt my rambling I'm already this close..." you hold your forefinger and thumb an inch apart, " ...to a mental spiral"
"Two" you point towards a post-It that just said 'Kylo' in black capitals, "Kylo wants to fuck me but doesn't have the emotional capacity for anything else"
It was cruel. After all, he bought you dresses and asked for your consent with everything. But that was a base line achievement. You wanted a "let me tell you how much I love you, lay underneath the stars and bath in a pink hue" kind of romance. Whereas, it was a 'what's the minimal amount of emotional validation I need to give you to keep you on my dick?' kind of partnership.
