Toxic // m.c.

chapter six.

Since I don’t have work on the weekends, I forgot to ask Ashton for his number and I have no other friends here, I decided to sleep in late on Saturday, then go shopping for home decorations and finish setting up my new apartment. It sounds so nice being able to say “my apartment”, I feel so grown up and like I’m on a new page of my life. I worked really hard to get here, and now that I am, I won’t allow anything to ruin it, especially him. I feel independent for the first time in a long time, and I love the feeling.

I googled on my laptop where the closest Target was,  it’s only a little bit outside of town so I’d need to use my truck. Which I was kind of hyped about, I missed my beloved truck. I got myself ready in my black ripped skinny jeans, a light white sweater that was slightly cropped and my black vans. I decided to leave my naturally curly hair down, put on makeup and I was out the door.

I probably went a little bit overboard at the store, but hey, a girl’s got to treat herself every now and then. I got all the necessities for the apartment, like soap, dishes (which happen to have the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on them), towels, some paint for my room, etcetera. I also got a few cute shirts, because one cannot resist while at Target. They either have the cutest things or the ugliest, and today they had the cutest.

I pulled up to my apartment complex relieved after having to sit in traffic for an hour and made my way up to my apartment. Thankfully, there was no sight of Michael but I still ran down the hall to get in as quick as possible. Just in case he came out and saw me.

I got inside and unpacked all my stuff and carried my paint to my bedroom. I covered all my furniture in plastic wrap so paint wouldn’t get on them and moved it all to the middle of the room. I then realized I should probably change my clothes so I wouldn’t get them messed up, these jeans were my favorite. I threw on an old pair of shorts I didn’t really like anymore and began looking for a shirt. I was ruffling through my drawers when I saw his old white t-shirt lying at the bottom. Call me crazy, but I’ve never gotten rid of it. I still wear it to bed sometimes when I miss him, even though that’s probably not helping me move on at all. It’s been a freaking year; I need to get my shit together. So I threw it on, because who cares if I got paint on it, I had made the decision to throw it away tonight.

For my room color I chose a dark blue, I think it’d look good with my white furniture. I plugged up my phone to my speaker and started blasting “Welcome to New York" by Taylor Swift on repeat throughout my room. I opened the cans, threw up my hair and began painting, while I danced and screamed along the lyrics. This song is just too catchy; I can’t help it.

“THE LIGHTS ARE SO BRIGHT, BUT THEY NEVER BLIND MEEEEE-“I screamed along with the music swaying my hips until my music just cut off. What the hell?

I turned to my speaker to see what happened, but screamed and fell back with I saw Michael standing there with the cord in his hand. He started laughing, and I just got even angrier.

“Have you heard of knocking? How’d you even get in here?! What are you doing here?” I screamed, and he just laughed more, putting up his hands to tell me to calm down.

“I did knock, like 30 times, but your music was too loud for you to hear it. You left your door unlocked, which you shouldn’t do by the way.” He said. Oh. Well I feel like a dumbass.

“Nothing’s changed with you then huh? You still listen to the same song on repeat until you get tired of it, and you still do that cute little dumbass dance you always used to do.” He said and a small smile was on his face, almost like he was looking back on our memories, just like I was. But I’m stronger than I was before, I wasn’t going to just invite him in for a cup of coffee and forgive him all over just because he was being nice to me.

“You still didn’t tell me why you came here…” I said, not looking him in the eye. He walked over to me to try and help me up, but I rejected his hand and got up myself and finally got the courage to look at him. It looked like hurt flashed in his eyes, but I just brushed it off. He started scratching his neck, which is what he always does when he’s nervous from what I could remember.

“Well um, I wanted you to turn down your music. So yeah, keep it down, okay?” he said with a new harshness in his voice, and I just nodded my head and walked out of the room. Why I didn’t just make him leave when it’s my room; I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking straight and I just couldn’t be in the same room with him any longer. He followed me out though, and made his way to the door. He looked at me one last time, and just stopped and starred at me. I began to feel uncomfortable under his stare and spoke up. “What are you starring at Michael?”

He then snapped out of his trance and spoke softly, “Is um, is that my shirt Sophia?” he asked and I thought I heard his voice crack at the end, and my eyes went huge. Embarrassed was an understatement.

I stumbled over my thoughts not knowing what to say. “Uh yeah, yeah, it is. Sorry I’ll return it to you tonight, I didn’t get any paint on it, I was just searching for an old shirt and I saw this and um-“I was rambling but Michael cut me off.

“No, I want you to keep it. Better on you anyways.” He said, not able to look me in the eyes with a sad tone to his voice and then hurried out the door, slamming it behind him.

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and called up Rae and my grandmother. I needed girl talk, badly, because what the hell just happened?