Toxic // m.c.

chapter seventeen.

SOPHIAS P.O.V

Why?

That was the only question running through my busy mind.

Why did I come to this city, where I knew no one? Or atleast I thought, I knew no one. Why did I even think about getting started with a new guy? Why did I even think, for a split second, things would be okay with me and Michael? That this dinner would be a nice, peaceful night?

How fucking stupid was I! Things will NEVER be okay with him. My hope is like a candle. The light's still burning, as the wax is slowly decreasing, and the flame gets smaller, and smaller with every blow. And all of this, may finally burn my candle out.

Peoples eyes are on me as I run out of the restaurant, probably questioning what the hell I was running from. I'm running from my feelings, I'm running from Ashton, I'm running from him.. but this time I don't know if I want him to chase me.

I want to be okay again. No, not okay, I want to be happy. I don't want to be in the grey space between happy and upset, I just want to be happy. Not content, not fine, but completely, utterly and uncontrollably happy.

Before I can even stop them I feel the tears running down my cheeks, with a trail of my mascara rolling down with them. I sit on the curb outside of restaurant, and put my knees up to my chest and lay my head down on them, letting my silent tears fall.

I feel a hand on my shoulder lightly, and I jump in shock, lifting my head to see who it was. And as soon as I did, my head went right back down.

"Soph?" Michael asked me in a quiet voice.

I didn't respond, I just sat with my head down. not liking the fact his voice was only making me tear up more.

"I'm so sorry..." He whispered. "Please don't cry baby.." His voice contained so much sadness, I didn't even correct him on him calling me baby. I missed that. I missed that a lot..

"Why are you sorry?" I croaked, my face still hidden.

"For everything, you know? For kissing that other girl at that stupid party, for what I said that night, and ending one of the best things I had in my life.. which was us- if you weren't getting that." He said with a nervous chuckle at the end.

"Mikey-"

"No, let me finish. I'm sorry for how badly I hurt you. It kills me every time I see you, the reminder of how badly I hurt you Soph. I'm sorry for running away and not staying with you, I'm sorry for how I treated you when you got here, I'm sorry for letting you slip through my fingers. I fucked everything up, and I'm even lucky you're talking to me. I'm so sorry..."

I stayed silent for a few minutes, trying to let my heart rate slow down. Never, did I ever think I'd get an apology from him. I lifted my head up, and scooted closer to him, putting my head on his shoulder.

"It's okay" I whispered, wiping the tears off my face that were still remaining.

I heard him let out a small sigh of releif. He cautiously picked up my hand, holding it in his. "Is it okay that I do this?" he asked and I nodded my head gently.

"Do you think we could start again?" He asked me.

"No, no relationship. No, we're absolutely horrible together, I'm not-"

"Soph, calm down. As friends. I mean, I'd love to have you back, but I understand I need to be worthy of that again first." His voice sounded sad, but hopeful at the same time.

Friends... with Michael.

Friends with Michael, Me and Michael, only friends. Did I want that?

"Now's the part where you say something" He said with an awkward laugh.

I let out a small chuckle, and moved my head to look up at him. "Yeah, I think we could make that work." I said with a smile.

A huge smile took over Michaels face, and before I knew it mine was mirroring his.

"Now how about we get out of here, yeah? We can go back to the apartment and make an oven pizza" He asked, and playfully licked his lips at the sound of pizza. I missed this.. actually getting along with him, it's nice.

"But Ashton-"

"Oh fuck Ashton! You didn't see him run after you, did he?" Michael exlaimed.

Now that I think about it, he's right. Ashton's still in there enjoying his damn meal. He hasn't came out to talk to me or anything, which honestly really, really shocks me. This is like he's a completely different person than he was nearly an hour ago.

I stood up, fixing my dress with my hands.

"Yeah, fuck Ashton."