Memories of Infinity and Beyond (Montero Series 1)

18

Reconciliation.

Together with forgiveness can actually help all of us to move on in a healthier and happier way.

This is what I needed now, I need to reconcile with my father for me to be able to move forward.

Tumikhim ako bago umupo sa stool ng counter top, he is not yet finish preparing the food. I look at his back and notice that even at his age, he is still look strong and lean. At masasabi ko na mula noon ay gwapo talaga siya kaya kahit ibang dalagang kapitbahay namin noon ay nahuhumaling sa kanya.

Hindi niya napansin ang presensya ko kaya kinuha ko 'yon na pagkakataon upang pagmasdan siya. May iniinit siya sa microwave at at may pini-prito sa kawali. I still can't believe that he's here,after what? Ten years?

Halos makalimutan ko na nga ang itsura niya dahil sa pinatago ko lahat ng litrato nila ni mama rito sa bahay. Because I believed that it was one way to forget and move on. At effective naman,pero kasi bumalik na siya...

Nagulat pa siya ng humarap siya sa akin, he smiled a little and put the plate infront of me. Halata na ang wrinkles sa kanyang noo at gilid ng mata. He aged now but still the handsome Seymour Ferrer of San Vicente.

Funny how I remembered when his bestfriend told us about how he attracts alot of girls when they are still teenagers. Basketball player sila ng school at magagaling kaya agaw pansin ang kapogian nila kahit saan man sila mapunta. Lalo na raw si Papa.

"I cooked your favorite breakfast..."tumango lang ako at nanalangin. Kahit pa hindi sigurado kung natatandaan pa ba niya ang mga paborito ko.

Umupo rin siya sa harapan ko at naka pangalumababa habang titig na titig sa akin. Na-awkward tuloy ako sa pagkain ko kaya tumigil muna ako at tinitigan din siya.

"Eat first,we'll talk later. Titignan ko lang ang kapatid mo."he said and stood up.

Kapatid.

I have a sister on him with another mother. I am not against it anymore and I never hate the kid. Kay Papa lang ako galit noon at kahit anong gawin ng galit ko ay hindi ko na mababago pa ang nakaraan. I already accepted  that my father found his new happiness again.

Aminin ko man at sa hindi,I saw how devastated my father was when he found out about our mother's cheating. Palagi siyang naglalasing noon at late na umuuwi ng bahay galing sa trabaho. At nakita ko rin kung paano nagbago ang lahat sa kanya simula noong nalaman ko na may grilfriend siya.

Ang masaklap lang ay may pamilya rin ito at nauna lang iwanan kaysa sa ginawa sa amin ni Papa. Hindi ko lubos maisip kung paano rin hinarap ng pamilya niya ang mga nangyari sa kanila.

In this life,we ​​are not really sure what will happen in the future. We can't control what destined for us, especially who we will be with us  forever. Even if you love the person you are with right now, you still never so sure if you will make it to the end.

At posible rin mangyari ang mawalan ka ng pagmamahal sa taong mahal mo ngayon. Hindi natin alam,isang araw mararamdaman nalang natin na wala na. Magigising nalang tayo isang araw na wala ng spark. Na tumigil na sa pagtibok ng mabilis ang puso natin sa isang tao.

In my parents case, they would never love another if their love was strong and enough for each other. My mother would never found another man if she really loves my father. Maybe before? Because I saw how they adored and loved each other. And I saw they started became distant to each other before they decided to end it.

That's life.

Everything are uncertain. Like we live our life now and leave this world soon. Everything in this world is just borrowed. That the time will come and all of us  will come back to him. God is the beginning and ending of everything.