Because We Had Us

Chapter 6. Invisible Forces

Jo

     Finally, after what felt like hours of standing together and starring at God's great gaping creation of space In front of us, I broke the beautiful silence. "You know back on Earth I always felt like I had to fix every problem and clean up everyone of life's messes, but standing here before billions of stars makes me realize that I'm not made to fix everything." I turned to look him in the eyes. "I feel so humbled here, so small, and now I see that I wasn't made to hold everything together." Once I would have been ashamed of my vulnerable words, but now I faced Corin with my new confidence. I don't think he was my fix, but his open words and acceptance were. The coruscant stars threatened to pull me into the black world of space with their flashing motion.

     Despite Ruth's jokes, gazing at the star's with Corin was the first time I had found peace in a long time. It wasn't an intimate connection, he wasn't filling the void of my brother; no this was a whole new category he filled. From this moment on, though we didn't acknowledge for quite some time, we became best friends.

     We eventually made our way onto the hard glass floor. I laid on my stomach, pretending the glass wasn't there to catch me. I was floating through space with no care in the world. I swept my hand across the surface, eliminating its touch, reaching for the stars. Corin was beside me; I wondered if he was letting his 8 year old dreams take over his mind too. Suddenly our little bubble of tranquility was interrupted. The three stooges, also known as Ruth, Laz, and Miriam, all scrambled around the corner at full speed falling over their own feet.

     "Guys what's going on?" They didn't give me an answer though, all I got was a bunch of jumbled together screams.

     "Quick spilt up," Ruth commanded us all. My sister's tiny legs couldn't keep up. I bent down to pick her up, but Corin stopped me.

    "I got her," he reassured me. His eyes made an unspoken promise to me, and then he scooped her up and situated her onto his back.

     Miriam kicked his sides, treating him like a horse, and yelled "Giddy-up!" We both laughed, short of breath as we ran to no place in particular from the unknown. For the first time in my life I wasn't worried about following the rules and making strategic plans. An anomalistic agenda that was completely ruled by my survival instincts was the only only order I followed, and I found so much freedom and thrill in this state of mind. We reached a crossroads of tunnels and split up as Ruth had told us to do. Corin, my sister, and Laz all went to the left, and Ruth and I went down the right tunnel. It was not my ideal group obviously, and I hated leaving my sister, but looking back I think God knew what he was doing when he stuck me and Ruth together.

     "This should be fun," she scoffed, running in front of me in a zigzagging motion, so I was trapped behind her.

     "Cut it out!" I snapped back at her shoving her to the other side of the tunnel like I was 5 years old. "You mind explaining what we're running from." I yelled at her in-between my choppy breaths. I was in shape, but when running for your life breathing became a whole lot harder.

     "We'll we're running from your problem, so thanks for that." Oh crap the optimists who wanted to kill my sister; what an oxymoron. It was a shame what fear would do to people. COA may have split us up in groups based on our personality, but they mean't nothing once fear controlled the minds of the people. It was as if fear stripped us of everything we were and everything we knew.

     I immediately hated myself for letting her go with Corin. She began to run faster, and my legs began to throb, even more than they had been this week. This sure was a great week to be on my period. I filled my mind with all that you're strong motivation crap that I was having a hard time believing. I just wanted to collapse on the ground and sob and let them get me.