Because We Had Us

Chapter 10. Fighting Fires

Ruth

"Hey Nancy drew," I began to mock the overenthusiastic wanna be sleuth that stood before me, but then I remembered how she carried my limp body such far lengths, in attempt to save me from what turned out to be nothing. I guess it was the thought that counted or whatever. Her perfect figure paced the room, fueled by her perfect brain. She really pissed me off with her perfectness. Somewhere under her shell of cookie cutter American teen had to be some deep dark secrets; I know I had mine.

I traced my side with my hands over and over, until I felt bone or muscle. Then I moved to my face and then my thighs. Snapping back into reality, I crossed my arms over my chest, realizing my former stance probably gave the others the impression that I was about to pee myself.

"Jo what's our next move?" Laz interjected. Why did she get to call the shots? I mean she was the oldest, but did we really want 'mom' bossing us around? Wasn't that why we all went to space? I wanted to escape my parents more than the deadly virus. They made my life complete hell, with their constant bickering. For the longest time the thing I wanted most in life was to please them, but I came to find out that was impossible. Not at the same time at least. To please one I would have to hurt the other because the only thing they could agree on was their hatred for each other. It was a home that was destined to end up in flames, so when my firefighter who wore an off white lab coat showed up to my rescue I was more than happy to leave.

Space wasn't really my thing; It was too dark and too cold at first, but oddly enough I ended up finding it comforting, eventually. There was no long nights, where curse words were my only lullaby. It was silent. I expected it to be peaceful the first night I slept in the giant technologically advanced tin can, but a twisted part of me couldn't fall asleep without the normal sounds of bickering. Soon enough, I did sleep through the nights without their echo's, but now the daytime was my nightmare. Leaving the planet they lived on wasn't enough; no distance would ever erase the pain they left inside of me. It didn't matter how far I ran. The seeds of anger were planted in me long ago and were left to grow until the tree's roots strangled me little by little everyday.

The sleepless nights where I was sick to my stomach because I withheld food from myself, would always be a shadow that never left my side. I couldn't control what happened around me, but I could control what happened in me; so I starved myself for the longest time, that is until I decided I wasn't going to let them kill me. I eat now, mostly, but the tree of anger inside of me had never been cut down, and I don't think it ever will be. Iv'e gotten used to it it's apart of me now. It's my normal, and without it who would I be?

Corin and Jo were clicking on separate computers like they were on some kind of mission. Nerds. Laz and Miriam were playing a game that involved lots of hitting. It looked like whoever didn't get slapped on the hand was the winner. Cool. Was it bad that I wanted to join the hand slapping, rather than try to help shaggy and Velma solve the mystery of the disappearing people. Why not? I plopped onto the floor Indian style next to the kids with flailing hands and started violently slapping them too.

"Ow!" Miriam's babylike voice wailed, causing all eyes to shift in her direction. Jo gave me the dirtiest look, towering over me and scolding me, like I was a child in her kindergarten class.

"Ruth apologize to Miriam," She ordered, in her most obnoxious teacher like voice. You would think she was forty five because she somehow had "the mad mom look down." What if she had a secret child? Oh who am I kidding could never find dirt on mrs. perfect no matter how hard I tried.

"Are you kidding me? I barely tapped her!" Corin was slouched in his rolling chair, trying to stifle his laughter. How did he find her old lady like presence amusing? Jo's narrowing eyes were locked on mine. I cocked an eyebrow. Try me, I wanted to say, but I let my silent killer look, which I had used on my mom back on Earth so many times, say it all. It had been a full two minutes of our stare off, when Corin and Laz looked at each other and then forcefully ended our unannounced competition. Laz pulled me backwards by the arm, but I didn't protest because then I would loose my focus and blink. Corin put his arm around Jo and walked her back towards the dusty computers and when she turned I saw her blink.