The Sleepless Book Reviews [CLOSED FOR CATCHUP)

Black Blood: The Brair Rose by SynNyxNox - reviewed by Amy400

Username: @SynNyxNox
Title: Black Blood: The Brair Rose
Genre: Vampire
Amount of reviewed chapters: 7
Reviewer: @Amy400

1. Title
The title fits the genre and the story very well. It also makes you curious about the Brair and the Rose when it's mentioned in the story cause it is the title. Very well done!

2. Cover
I really like it but I'll give you some tips to make it even better.

Maybe don't put The Brair Rose between Black and Blood , that's less confusing and make the rose more viable, brighter so that you can more easily see it's a rose. Maybe make your name bigger.

3. Description
The description is too short. What you have now is good, only add more about what's gonna happen. You described everything I now know reading the first 7 chapters. Add more about what's too come.

4. Plot
I really like the storyline. Again some things to change: I'm the first few chapters you have a lot of different storylines like the nightmares, the café, the new guy that try's to buy the café and school. There should be more of a focus cause it feels like I'm reading different story's. In the later chapters that it solved though. I feel like the cafe story was only there to introduction Ian and Jessie.

Also, the story at a certain reminded me a lot of twilight. Especially because you mention Twilight with the essay. The fact that Ian left for weeks when they finaly went on a date and Ian how said he was dangerous and Blair said that she wasn't afraid. It would be better to change these events to be more original. This also is only in the first few chapters.

Now I have some specific points to think about:

1.    Why doesn't she think about Vampires when she was rescresearching when she just wrote a paper about twilight and vampires? She sees that Ian is sensitive to blood so that would be my first guess (although I might have read to many vampire book haha)

2.    I would like to see the transition from only having this feeling for Ian to actually liking him. She kept saying she didn't like him and all of a sudden she did.

3.    When Ian sees the nightmare man for the first time he mentions the Brair and the Rose and Ian know about it, but then during the research it takes them for ever to look into it. It sounds to me like something very important.

4.    Why is Jessie just accepted to be at the conversation when they research what happened? Ian said to Blair so many times that he couldn't tell her but a stranger is just like that accepted to know everything? Make that more clear.

There were also a lot of things that I loved, like the transition into believing that demons can be real. It's really believable. It also helped that you mentioned a lot people in town already belief in magic and stuff.

5. Writing
You are very good in giving a detailed description of what's happening and world building. I like the way you write. It also had a nice flow, not too slow, not too fast.

Only, surprising events happened too fast. You didn't build too it. For example when Blair walked to her car and the nightmare man helt his hand to her mouth. What you should do is something like: "and then, out of nowhere, I was shocked when a hand grabbed my mouth." Make clear that something surprising is gonna happen. I noticed this a lot and every time I missed what happend and had to read back.

One more thing, when someone is gonna say a lot, you should tell before hand how's talking. Otherwise I listen to a whole speech without knowing who's talking.

6. Overall Thoughts
I really enjoyed reading the story. I liked to see another look on vampires and magic. Just make a few changes and keep writing!