Begin Again

Introduction

Everyone says they don't want me to be perfect, but deep inside I really think that's what they want. That is what I want. Achieving perfection has always been my ultimate goal. But the hardest I tried to reach it, the furthest I was to do it.

So I'm here, in my bedroom. The typical New Year's eve when your parents are divorced and they both work all day. I really don't blame my mom, she is always there for me when I need her, and she really needs to work hard so we can afford everything we both need. Today, her boss told her that she could leave the hospital at 7, so she will arrive here in about 10 minutes.

But right now, I'm just thinking that I really need a change. A transformation. I mean, it's New Year, we all need a transformation, right?

I heard the front door opening when I was grabbing my "Ideas notebook" so I could start writing my New Year's Resolutions list. I know it's weird having an "Ideas notebook" but we all have weird stuff.

-Hey honey!

-Hey mom!- I shouted happy that she finally arrived. It's nice to have company in New Year.

-Please, come and help me with the dinner. - Right, dinner, of course I have to help her cooking, she has been working for about 10 hours, she must be tired. I jump out of bed and slide my flip flops on. When I arrive to the kitchen, all I can see is that she is grinning like a maniac and holding a box of pizza in her hands - Surprise!-

God! She knows me so well.

-Thank you mom! You're the best.- One of the things I love the most about my mom is that even if she is tired or busy, she always find a time to talk to me and check if I'm okay. She is the only family I have, and we have a good relationship.

-Oh Marcia! I already know that.- Oh! I forgot to mention that she is kind of a teenager. But I love her anyways.

I took a slice of pizza from the box and kiss her on the cheek. Okay, maybe I took more than one slide of pizza. But whatever, I go to my room and close the door behind me.

What was I doing before I left? Oh, yeah, I was about to start my New Year's resolution list.

The main reason I'm doing this is because I'm tired of being invisible, But I'm sure of something. I want to change my life style, not who I am. That's definitely.

But also I need to fix lots of things that I did last year, beginning with me trying to avoid people.

Whenever someone (that wasn't my teachers or Dylan or my best friend Diane) talked to me, I used to freak out, I'm not shy at all, but I didn't want a social life, because I wanted to be perfect first, so after achievieng that I could start working in my social life. This is why I'm at home, eating pizza and watching chick flicks on New Year.

But recently I realized something.

I wasn't happy.

So the first thing I'm writing down is "Improve my social life."

One of the things I have realized in the past two months, is that if I want to be perfect, I need to start loving myself right? Loving who I am and loving what I do. So the next thing I write down is "Love who I am."

This is not a bucket list, it's just things I want to change about my lifestyle. So if you were wondering I'm not going to write things like "go skydiving" or stuff like that. Which I have to admit, sounds fun.

"Finding a job".

"Be happy and enjoy every single moment of life". I write this down. And I think I'm done. I know it's a short list, but there are things that I really want to do, and I really need.

-*-*-*-

So this was the first chapter of my new story "BEGIN AGAIN".

I hope you like it and if there's any grammar mistake, then I'm so sorry.

I know it was short but it was like an introduction.

Enjoy the story.

With love,

Montse.