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11 - Screamer

Becky
I managed to sleep for a little while when the nurses were doing morning checks on Harley, she has not let me sleep at all. Waking up every two hours or so screaming her little lungs out, I've only had her a night and I'm already exhausted, the doctors want to keep us in the hospital for a little while as my blood pressure and heart rate is way too low for me to safely go home. Although she has tired me out, every moment I spend with her is precious. She is so tiny and so beautiful, she definitely takes after her mother in that area.

"Good morning sunshine!"

Colby opened up the blind and I just curled up into a ball.

"Wait where's Harley?!?"

"She's with the nurses, they wanted to do her daily checks. Please close the blinds, I need sleep."

He went to close the blinds when my midwife walked in without my baby.

"Mr Lopez and Miss Quin, we've carried out some tests on your daughter and it's come to our attention that she has impaired hearing."

"Wait what?"

"She didn't respond to any noises we were making, or flinch when we did the beep."

"What's that gonna mean for her?"

"Well things will be different for her and you'll both have to learn sign language and start teaching it to her at a very young age."

"How are we supposed to teach her if she cannot hear us?"

"We believe she'll be able to hear at a young age but as she gets older and older it'll get worse until she is eventually deaf."

"Why?"

"We believe it may be because of the premature birth, it's something that tends to happen to premature babies."

"So it's all my fault then..."

"No, Miss Quin you are not to blame."

"I had her early, it's my fault."

"That was something that was out of your control, we believe that your daughter can still live a normal life. I know it is difficult but it is not your fault. I'm gonna go get her for you, she needs her mummy for a feed."

She left leaving me and Colby alone.

"I'm scared for her Colby."

"Me too, but if we show her just how much we love her it doesn't matter then."

"I don't want her to be any different from any of the other kids."

"Let's not worry about this for now, she's still a little baby who needs her mother so take a few deep breaths."

I did as he asked and smiled a little at him, the crib was pushed back in and I saw my tiny little girl. Colby passed me her and she just looked up at me with her wide eyes.

"She's so perfect, you'd never think she's deaf."

"She's perfect to me not matter what."

"And she always will be. We've got to look after her Colby, take our time to make sure everything she needs is ready for her, I don't want to be a bad mother."

"And you won't be, you'll be the best mother there is. Harley is one lucky girl to have you as her mother."

"You really mean that?"

"Of course I do, your strong and amazing. I wouldn't want to have kids with anyone else."

"Well I'm glad, I think you'll be a great dad. I only fear she'll like you more than me because I tend to be more serious."