Repair the Broken

Chapter 4

I can’t deal with this.  It’s been three years since I’ve talked to Brody.  The last time I spoke to him was a disaster.  He accused me of things that I had no control over; things that I couldn’t prevent.  I don’t want to go back to that time in my life and I don’t want to face him now.  He was my best friend.   He knows things about me that Lexi and Noelle don’t even know today.  I needed him that day and he flipped on me.  He broke my heart and it’s been irrepairable since.

“Alayna, do you want to talk about it?” Noelle asks.

“You know we will listen.  You’ve never told us what happened between you and Brody that day.”  Lexi has always asked and I’ve always avoided the answer.  Anytime I try to tell them what happened I cry.  

I sit on my bed, Lexi is on the futon, and Noelle sits at my desk chair.  I have to sit and think for a minute wondering how much I should tell them.  There’s so much history that these girls don’t know about.  So I just blurt out the first thing that comes to my mind.  “My dad had an affair with Caroline.”

“WHAT?? Let me get this right. Paul had an affair with Brody’s mom?”  Lexi blurts right back.

“Yep.  That’s exactly right.”

“Is that why Judith drinks so much?”  Lexi has no filter.  Noelle blanches at the bluntness of the question and looks right at me and waits for the answer.

“Yes.  My mom started drinking when she found them in bed together.  It started as a drink here and a drink there and then turned into multiple drinks every day.  It’s a crutch she uses to hang on to the past.  I can’t say that I don’t understand what she’s going through although I don’t agree with the way she is dealing with it. It got worse once she found out they had been screwing around for several years.”

“What about Brody’s dad?”  Noelle asks this before Lexi can open her mouth.  She’s still gaping at me trying to comprehend the affair information given to her. 

“Coach, Mr. Matthew, didn’t have a clue they were sleeping together.  He was oblivious to it just like my mom was.  As a result, he threw himself into his first love; his football team.  I don’t think he has ever really dealt with the backlash that came from the affair.  Did you know that my dad and coach were best friends?  They grew up together and played on the same football team in high school and they both decided to go to the same college. 

“No way.  That’s crazy.  I still don’t understand what this has to do with you and Brody.  Okay, I get that your parents had a thing but that isn’t your fault.  Unless you knew about it and kept it to yourself?”   Lexi finally gets her bearings and is able to respond. 

“No I didn’t know about it.”  My hands are rubbing my temples as I contemplate if it could have been my fault or not. 

“Alayna, will you please just tell us what happened.  There has to be more to it than what you are telling us.  I don’t think Brody would blame you for something you can’t help.”

“But he does.  I don’t know why but he does.  I may as well just tell you everything and maybe you can tell me why he would begin hating me over this.  I need to tell the whole story from the beginning for you to really understand.  I think that is the best way to make you appreciate how close our families were.”

“Lexi, you can’t interrupt either.  Just let her tell the story and then you can say what you need to say.” 

“Thanks Noelle.”  I take a deep breath, rub my eyes, and turn to the girls and begin.

“My dad and coach have known each other since high school.  They were both on the football team.  Caroline was Coach’s high school sweetheart.  The three of them practically ran the school.  You know how popularity goes, the quarterback and the head cheerleader always get together,  well my dad was the quarterback but he didn’t get the head cheerleader, Coach did.  Coach was the kicker.  He loved football but was always so scrawny.  He was an amazing kicker so that’s what he did.  Coach didn’t bulk up until after the affair.  Anyways, I think dad always liked Caroline but knew Coach had a thing for her so he never pursued her.  Not until a few years before the affair.  I’m getting ahead of myself.  Let me backup.