Repair the Broken

Chapter 5

I’m in the kitchen getting something to eat when I finally hear the girls come down the stairs.  They gave me about thirty minutes which is a record for Lexi.   I look up and I can see the concerned expression on Noelle’s face.  Lexi looks like she wants to say something but she is keeping it to herself for now.

Noelle is the first to respond and does so in a light hearted manner.  She looks at me before she walks to the table to sit down with her lunch.  “I don’t know why he blames you.  It makes no sense to me.”  

“I have replayed that day over and over at least a hundred times and I can’t recall anything that would make him fault me for something I had no control over and had no clue was happening.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.  You went to him in a time of need and he was a dick to you.  He blamed you and then turned his back on you.  You can’t blame yourself for this.”  Lexi speaks up.  She is so blunt about the way she feels it makes me cringe at times. 

“He’s not a dick.  Well he was that day but you don’t really know him.  He was upset and that’s why he acted that way.  And I don’t blame myself at least I try not to.”

“Do you still have feelings for Brody?”  Noelle asks.

I sit and think about that question for a while before I answer.  “I don’t know.  I mean I don’t think so but I don’t know.  It’s hard you know.  I haven’t looked at another guy the way that I looked at him that summer.   I know we were young but I thought he was it for me.  I know it’s been years but I can’t get over it.” 

“What are you going to do about the list and you know he is expecting me to call him.” 

“Do not call him.  We will see him at school tomorrow and he will see that I am just fine.  Then he can go back to pretending that I don’t exist.” 

“I don’t think that’s going to work and I don’t think he is going to ignore you after last night.”  I really hate the way she has no filter at times but I love her because she keeps it real.   

“Maybe not but I will deal with that tomorrow.  Right now I need to figure out how to get my list back from him and pray that he hasn’t read it.”

“What does it matter if he reads it?  You shouldn’t be embarrassed at setting a few goals and wanting to accomplish them before graduation.” 

 “I’ve added to it since you’ve seen it last.”

“Is there anything we can help you with?  You know we wanted to help you last night but that was kind of a one woman job.  Not much we could do for you other than keep an eye out.”  Noelle seems to be treading last night’s debauchery lightly. 

“And we failed miserably at that.”  Lexi jumps right in correcting Noelle. 

“You didn’t fail.  There were circumstances that we weren’t expecting.  We just have to learn from them.  But there is something on that list that I don’t want certain people to see.”

“Just tell us what’s on the list unless we are the certain people you don’t want to see it.”  Lexi knows they aren’t but she just wants confirmation. 

“The list is simple and most of the things we can do together.  But there is one thing that I need to do on my own, at my own time, and at my own pace.  That’s the last one I added.”

“Okay, other than that one what did you add to the list?”  Lexi pushes the subject.

“I can’t remember exactly without having it in front of me.  One of them was drinking at a party.”

“We can most definitely help you with that one.”

“Lexi stop interrupting her.  I’m going to tape your mouth shut.  Please let her finish.  Geesh.”

“Sorry.  I’m just excited that we can get her drunk.”

“I didn’t say get drunk.  I said have alcohol.  There’s a difference.  Anyways, I want to dance in the rain, get a tattoo or a piercing, and change my hair color.  Things like that.”  I play off the last few things on my list not wanting them to think I was being cheesy. 

Lexi stands and starts jumping up and down. “Yay! Alayna is getting wild and we get to help.   If you’re getting a tattoo, we are getting matching ones.  Noelle that means you too!”

Noelle’s face drops and it looks like she’s going to get sick. “I don’t think I can get a tattoo.  I can’t sit through that.  I could get a piercing as long as it can be hidden.  You know my mom would freak out if she saw me with one.”

“Do I get a say in this?  It is my bucket list.  Mine not yours Lexi.” 

“You did get a say.  You said you wanted a tattoo or a piercing and if I get my way we will get both so stop whining.  You wanted this; I’m just helping you see it through.”

“Whatever.  We can talk about it later.  My mom will be home soon and I need to finish my homework.  Are you going to stay for dinner or what?”

I have to be home by four so I guess I will head out.  I have a lot of homework as well.  I will see you tomorrow at school.  Lexi do you need a ride?”

"Yeah. I’m coming I guess.  We have that test in Lit tomorrow and I have to read the last few chapters.  Alayna let us know if you need anything.”

As soon as they leave, I walk up to my room to start my homework.  I grab my Lit book and notes out of my book bag and go to my bed.  I get comfortable on the bed and open my book to start reading.   I get into the chapter and feel my eyes get heavy.  It doesn’t take long before I fall asleep. 

I wake up to noises coming from downstairs.  It takes a minute for my brain to fully awaken and realize that I fell asleep doing my homework.  I look at the clock and its 6:30 in the evening.  I normally have dinner prepared when my mom comes stumbling in.  I get out of bed, pull the rumples out of my clothes, and make my way downstairs.

I stop at the bottom of the steps and listen.  I can hear my mom moving around the kitchen and I hear her open the refrigerator.  She’s probably getting another beer because the first twelve she had would never be enough.  I hear the bottle top pop and make my way to her. 

“Hey mom.”

“Layna.  Howf you been darlin’?  Haf you eaten supper?  I was gonta cook but I can’t find anything that I want.”  She slurs most of her words and is barely able to stand without the help of the counter holding her up.

“Mom, how much have you had to drink today?  You need to stop doing this.   It’s not helping any and you can’t continue doing this to yourself.”

“You don’t know what you are talking about.  I’m fine; just a lil tippp..seee.”  She can’t get her words to come out right.  She turns and staggers to the stairs.  “Im gonta go to bed.”

I watch as she stumbles to the staircase.  She holds onto the stair rail and crawls her way to the top.  It takes her a minute leaning against the wall before she makes her way into her room and closes her door. 

This day can’t get any worse.  I hate seeing mom like that but it has become her way of coping.  I just wish she could move on and stop living in the past.  Just as I make my way to the steps, I hear a knock at the door.  I don’t know who would be coming to my house, everyone has gone home and mom is upstairs. 

I walk over to the door, open the curtains, and see the last person I expect to be standing there.

Brody.