Many Moons

Year 4

Fourth-year began with ¾ of the Marauders beginning their studying to become animagi after learning that a werewolf couldn't hurt an animagus in its animal form. Remus had been able to keep his many secrets, but it was definitely getting harder.
Thankfully, over the holiday, his hips had stopped growing and he'd gotten taller; now standing at 5'8.
Sirius knew he was very gay for Remus, he just didn't know exactly how to tell him; not knowing if Remus was gay.
Although it was hard, Remus had gained some confidence and started attending classes without his cloak on; just wearing a white button-up shirt, a sweater, and school trousers. It was a double ancient runes period with the Slytherins, and, very unluckily for Remus, he was on his period and had leaked a bit in his crotch. Sirius noticed as he was sitting next to Remus and whispered as quietly as he could,
"Remi, check your pants."
Remus immediately saw and began to mutter the words to a cleaning spell, but he kept getting nervous, causing him to mess up the spell. He didn't want to perform it verbally, knowing that he'd out himself if he did. Little did Remus know, Sirius had been practicing that particular charm just in case Remus ever needed help. As he said before, he really liked Remus and never wanted him to feel uncomfortable about something he couldn't control. Sirius did the charm perfectly, causing Remus to blush. Damn, I really like Sirius Remus thought. No one noticed except for Snape, who was eyeing the professor with a knowing look.
After the incident, Remus knew he needed the toilets and shakily raised his hand asking,
"Professor Telford, may I use the toilets?"
Snarkily, the professor remarked,
"Lupin, I've told you a million times, there is no reason for you to use the toilets during my lessons. So, unless you can give me a better answer as to why you seem to always need to use the toilets around this time, please go back to your studies."
Remus stiffened. He knew. The teacher, he had to know. He looked to Sirius for support and that resulted in an apologetic look. Hurting both physically and emotionally, Remus tried to get through the rest of the lesson until he could just use the toilet, but he couldn't. He ended up bleeding through his trousers again, but this time, he was able to mutter the charm himself, which worked. Defeated, the period ended, and he was finally able to use the toilet; locking the door behind him. After the day he had, he didn't want to be interrupted.
Some weeks passed, and, steadily, Remus and Sirius started acting like they both wanted to be more than friends. Everyone could tell except each other. Sirius was driving himself crazy. He really, really fancied Remus, and just couldn't figure out how to tell him.
Late one night in the common room, Sirius and James were waiting up for Remus to return from the library. Sirius facing James, and James looking towards the door. Sirius blurted out,
"I can't do this anymore Jamie. I'm gonna walk right up to Remus and tell him exactly how I feel—"
"That's really good, mate"
James piped in.
Now, more frantically,
"And he's gonna laugh at me then run away screaming!"
"Does he even know that you're...you know..?"
James asked, moving his eyebrows to fill in the rest.
Sirius, crossing his arms, nervously said,
"No, he does not know that I'm gay..."
He said the "gay" part in a bit of a whisper, clearly embarrassed. James added,
"Ok, so, maybe start the conversation with that then."
Sirius moved his eyes thinking,
"I suppose that would be an alright idea, but won't that seem weird?"
"Why would it be weird?"
"No, just...James. He'll know the second the words leave my mouth. I'll say that I like boys and he'll know exactly what's going on. Then he'll reject me before I can even properly ask him out—!"
"Sirius."
"And then I'll cry!"
"Sirius!"
"And we won't be able to be friends!"
"Padfoot!!!"
"Because I won't be able to show my face in public!!!"
"You're spiraling, mate. Calm down. Just chill"
James said.
"I know I'm being dramatic Prongs, but I just don't know what to do. Do I just say, 'hey, I like someone?'"
Sirius was full-on ranting now and James was trying his hardest to get Sirius to quiet down.
"Or do I just scream out, 'Remus, I'm in love with you!'"
Sirius laughed sickly, realizing how utterly mental he was acting. James said quietly, seeing that Remus had entered the common room,
"He's right over there, mate..."
Sirius, noticing Remus walking over, panicked-asked,
"How loud was I just talking?!?!?"
Clearly lying, James replied,
"Er, well, not that loud...."
Remus stood there, waiting for Sirius to turn around, blushing slightly. He had definitely heard enough to know what was going on. Sirius turned around, nervously looking at Remus, grabbed him by the hand, and pulled him into the dorm room, locking the door behind them. Sirius asked frantically,
"How much did you hear???"
not wanting to look into Remus' eyes. Remus looked down at their hands, still interlocked, and up at Sirius who took his hand back, smiling nervously. Remus started,
"Oh, I...er...I heard the last bits about you fancying someone..."
Sirius, definitely bright red, said,
"Ok, look...,
Sirius blurted out,
"I really fancy you Remi..."
Remus said,
"Oh! Well, I fancy you too..."
Sirius said, utterly surprised,
"Really!?!?"
"Of course! You're bloody gorgeous, and funny, and sweet, Pads! But why me? I'm so wrong..."
he said, gesturing to his body. Sirius grabbed Remus' hands again. He was shorter than Remus, but looked at Remus and said,
"Remus, you're a boy, okay? No one needs to validate that you're a boy just like me. I really fancy you, Remus. You are so cute, sweet, smart, and shy..."
Remus smiled as Sirius brushed some of the curly fringe out of Remus' eyes and kissed him. Remus immediately kissed back, gliding his hands through Sirius' beautiful hair. They pulled away when they both desperately needed to breathe. Remus said,
"So are we like...boyfriends?"
Sirius replied,
"Do you want to be?"
Remus smiled widened, shaking his head yes, and kissing Sirius again.
They walked downstairs, giving James, and now Lily, the "we are together" look. They both smiled silently, congratulating them.
Sirius had asked Remus to come to Hogsmede with him. Just the two of them. Although neither of them were brave enough to call it a date, it was their first time going as secret boyfriends.
They were sitting outside the Three Broomsticks when Remus mentioned needing to use the bathroom. So, naturally, Sirius offered his arm. And together, they walked to the bathroom.
Upon opening the door, they were met with the eyes of a certain Snape. He snarled,
"If it isn't the f*g, (news that Sirius was gay spread fast thanks to one conversation with Regulus, who, of course, accepted him, but was a bit too loud.) and the girl."
At the word "girl," Remus flinched. He hated being misgendered. It felt like a knife piercing his skin. Remus wanted to cry, but stood strong, not wanting Snape to perceive him as weak. Snape smirked evilly,
"Well, go on then. If you're a real boy, then use the urinal. Oh, I forgot! You are not a real boy! You are a disgusting girl who hides behind a haircut and some baggy clothes, thinking that she's a boy, but knowing bloody well she's not. You have a p*ssy and always will!"
Remus was crying. He'd given in, and Sirius was done taking BS. He screamed at Snape,
"Shut the hell up, you ignorant bastard, and leave Remus alone! He's a boy! Will you just get lost!!!"
Snape replied,
"Sure, I better let the girl do her business. Knew it wasn't a real boy."
Snape knew that now wasn't the time to make a mockery of Remus; he needed more evidence. Something no one could deny.
Remus backed himself into the wall, crying; his head to his knees. Quietly, Sirius said,
"I'm sorry, Remi..."
Remus replied with tears still in his eyes,
"It's alright. I'll have to learn how to deal with people like him..."
Sirius retorted,
"But you shouldn't have to."
Remus shifted uncomfortably,
"It's just...that makes me really insecure and dysphoric. Like, I know I'm a boy, but it sucks because I can't stand up. And I, er...used to get scared that you would notice and say something..."
Sirius wrapped Remus in a hug, saying,
"Listen, Remi. You being unable to stand up and pee doesn't make you any less of a boy. If I'm being honest, I didn't stand until I came to school."
Remus turned shocked.
"My mother doesn't like me and Reg standing. She says it's muggle-like and you know how she feels about our stupidly sacred last name."
Remus laughed,
"Really?!?"
"Yes, really. My mother's crazy!"
Sirius said.
Remus became nervous and quiet again, saying,
"I still have to go to the bathroom..."
He got up to use the stall, and, to his surprise, Sirius followed him into the stall next to his. He always used the stalls from that day forward because he knew how much it secretly helped Remus, even if he wouldn't admit it.