The Mistake | Colby Brock

Chapter One Hundred Two-Reflect

Colbys pov
I woke up in my bed, followed by a not so friendly pounding headache. After yesterday, i guess i kind of lost it. I don't remember not turning down a drink last night, i just let them keep going until i physically couldn't take it anymore. The rest was a blur, i think i punched a guy, or something like that. But in all honesty i don't remember much after my third bottle of whiskey. I did, however, wake up in my own bed alone, which made me feel slightly better about myself. I prayed that when i got out of bed, i would see Jordan standing by the foot of it ready to scold me. Or even sitting in the living room and just taking in her surroundings like usual, her eyes following the littlest patterns on the walls, or even a fly. She always found everything so intriguing. I knew once i got out of bed i would just be followed by my own misery, and the last of her words following. She loved me. And i loved her- love. I love her, present tense. I just can't bring myself to think she's gone, maybe even ever. After a good hour or two i finally got myself to get out of bed, dragging to my restroom and already dreading the feeling of not being able to hold her in my arms. The feeling of knowing she won't be waiting for me with pain killers sitting on the counter. Because she was gone. And she wasn't coming back. I saw her die in front of my own eyes, the water crushed her like a twig. I thought that taking a shower could erase my thoughts, clearing me out clean. But it didn't. It only enhanced how i was feeling, the hot water burning into my skin, my memory still fresh. Every time i blinked, or even closed me eyes, it's like i could see her here with me. Like she was still here. And it hurt, it hurt so fucking bad. I just wanted my pain to be over, but i couldn't be selfish now. Now was not the time only i would mourn to myself, i had to be there for my friends too. They had also lost a friend just like a family member. If we were to have a funeral, who would come? Yeah our friends can go, but Jordan didn't exactly have any family of her own. She didn't necessarily have a mom or a dad, besides David. But i guess he was kind of the reason for her death anyways. God, i hated that word. Death, dead, whatever. I hated it. I walked over to my living room, i didn't bother to dry up really, i just threw a towel over my waist. "Jesus! Sam what are you doing here?" I jumped back in shock, holding my head in pain. "I just came to check up on you, last night wasn't exactly the life of a party." He said, sitting in the same spot Jordan did last time she was here. He handed me pain killers along with a bottled water that i gratefully took, swallowing them dry. "I know it hurts Colby, but you can't mourn forever." I glared away, walking back to my room just to throw some clothes on quickly, not even bothering to check if i was matching. "You don't get it Sam." I started, teleporting back to the living room. "Get what?" He asked. "You get to, be here for me, you know? After today or the next you'll have someone to call, and text and to love, but i don't think i'll ever get that again. Because with Jordan, it's different, it was always different. It's like she knew me without even knowing me. I mean you and Kat are always going to have each other, and now i feel like i'm missing that part of me that you have with Kat." I shook my head, realizing i'm probably not making any sense to him. "Sorry that sounded bad i meant- i dont know." I slumped down on the couch, empty. My heart felt empty. Everything seemed dulled out from my view, it almost hurt to try and force the happy in me out, because there was barley any of it left. "I know what you mean man. And i know i will never know what it's like to feel that way, but i can promise you that you don't have to face it alone. I'm with you til the end of the line, Sam and Colby vs the world, always." He helped me back to my feet, pulling me into a hug i didn't know i needed. And for the hundredth time just from these last few days, i cried. The tears just falling from my face without my permission, you would think i'm all out of tears, and i thought so too. But i guess it's different when it's from someone you actually saw a future with. The one person you considered settling down with one day. "I miss her man, so much more than ever." "I know Colby, it's okay. She's okay." Sams comfort was definitely what i needed right now, more than i can imagine. I was just so greatful to have friends to fall back on, especially when i'm in a bad place. I pulled away, groaning as i wiped my eyes. "I'm gonna see Elliot today." I said, a small but weak smile on my face. "Elliot? The kid? Why so out of the blue?" Sam asked as we made our way to the kitchen so i could down another water bottle in hope of getting over my huge hangover. "Jordan asked me to yesterday, says he's a good kid." He nodded, grabbing his own water. "I see potential in him, you know now that i think about it they kind of look alike." I cocked my head, shrugging in slight agreement. "I don't know, i kind of see it. But Elliot has grey eyes, and his gifts are different." "Hm, yeah maybe i'm just remembering different." He chuckled a little. "Remember when she blasted that door at Chipotle that day, just completely shattering it." Sam laughed, shaking his head. "Oh yeah that's right." I shook my head in a chuckle, covering my face in my hands for a second. "She kept bringing that up for like a week just because you went all the way to the car to get pliers or something." I added, making Sam laugh harder. "How else was i supposed to open the door!" I laughed at him, shaking my head. "We could've teleported inside the whole time. Or even thrown a rock at the damn window!" "Oh okay you know damn well that glass was not going to budge from a rock Colby." He defended, all seriousness in his tone before cracking up. My smile faded way sooner than his, mostly because i was reflecting from that day, i should've payed more attention to the smaller things about her. Like the way she gave me her little eye glares when i took her words out of context purposely. She was amazing. Probably the only person i could see myself personally with. "She was amazing." I added, nodding my head. "She IS amazing." Sam corrected me, cocking his eyebrows. "Yeah, she's amazing."