The Mistake | Colby Brock

Chapter One Hundred Six-Slip

Colbys pov
I was laying my head up against the back of the couch, i wasn't talking like the half of the people in here where. I wasn't even on my phone. The music was loud enough in my ears to drown everyone out, and i wasn't complaining about it. It's almost therapeutic to me, even if the songs where adding to my emotions, i needed it. I felt the spot next to me dip, but i didn't even have the energy to move. I felt emotionless. Numb. "I'm sorry about what i said brother, i was coming off harsh, too harsh. I should've been more considerate of your feelings. You more than the rest of us are going through it, and i'm sorry." Sam said, sitting next to me. I had to turn my music down to hear him, but my hand never left my phone volume button, so it wasn't much effort. "It's okay, i know you didn't mean to." I said, my voice low and dry. I saw him not from the very corner of my eye, and i closed my eyes, letting the music wrap around me. "If you need anything, i'm always here for you." I nodded slightly at him, keeping my face the same, i couldn't help it. It just felt draining almost to do anything. Like i would just pass out from doing the smallest movements. I knew he left when the sofa undipped, leaving me be. Unfortunately it wasn't for long, because i felt that same spot crease again, couldn't anyone tell i wanted to be alone right now? "Hey." Aryia said, copying my position next to me. "Hi." I whispered, my voice tired. "What are you listening to?" I appreciated the fact that his comfort wasn't really straight forward, but you could tell that he was trying to. I leaned over to him, and he took my earbud out, immediately other people's conversations filled the empty spot. "Joji? I don't think that's sad enough, you mind?" I knew he was asking for my phone, so i just handed it to him. Usually, i ask who they were going to play so i could just do it, because i never let people touch my phone. I don't know why, it's just a weird peeve i have. But right now i felt weak to my bones, so i didn't want to go through the process when i could just give him my phone. It was quiet for a bit, the muffled voices coming from my one ear, clear as day from the other. I could hear people talking about me, thinking i was zoned out or something, but i didn't really care. Let them talk. Soon i heard an unfamiliar melody over the wire, making me crack open my eyes. "Who's this?" I asked quietly. "Slip by Elliot Moss, aka 2013's top sad music tiers." The more i listened to the song, the more i clicked the little button on my wires so the song replayed over and over, until i couldn't handle it anymore. I sat up, looking over at Aryia who opened his arms for a hug that i gratefully took. "I miss her so much man." I cried silently, not wanting my sadness to be heard. "Me too brother, me too." We pulled away, tears still falling from both our eyes, but we didn't care. All we noticed was the bond we just created. Because of Jordan. The miracle worker always worked her magic, even when she wasn't here. I got up, and walked over to my kitchen, just to grab my bottle of whiskey at the top of my shelf. "Are you sure that's a good idea?" Kat asked, her voice filled with worry as if caught everyone else's attention. I shrugged, not even caring at this point. "I'm going to bed." I walked over to my room, my feet dragged instead of lifting. Everything about me was just, off. And even i noticed it, yet i didn't do anything about it. Sam popped in front of me, making me take a step back from him. "You don't want to stay out here?" He asked, i saw his hand reaching down, and i knew he was going to stop me from my own drinking session. "No, i want to lay down." Who knew that when i got to my room it would just be more misery. I guess everyone else knew, but no one wanted to get between it anymore. A part of me knew i had to be there for my friends i called my family, but it was too much for even me. Laying on the floor gave me some sort of comfort, which was odd because i was two feet from my bed, but that was besides the point. The point was i didn't know how to feel without Jordan here. She was my rock, and i needed her. Now that she wasn't here it was almost like i was falling apart, the liquor holding me together this very second. I heard my phone go off, taking my attention away from the bottle for a second to read my text. "Hey Colby, i hope you know Reggie didn't mean what he said, he's just upset and he's going through a tough time. I know it's way harder on you, stay strong. For J." I didn't even notice the text was from Cassie until after i read the message, and i guess it made me feel better about this whole thing? Not really but i guess the slightest. I had to text back though, i didn't want to seem like more of an asshole than i already was. "I didn't mean anything either, tell him that for me please. And i appreciate you texting me, it means a lot. Know that i'll be here for you too when you need it." I sent the message, meaning every word that i said, before plopping back down on the floor, swinging another drink until my phone went off a couple more times. "Hey man i told the guys to come over to my place so you can have your time, let me know if you need someone to talk to, okay? We all care for you brother." This one was from Sam, and it made me realize how blessed i was to have such a supportive friend group. "Thanks man, i have you too, always and whenever. Love you guys." I swiped out, going to the other unread message from my phone from Cassie. "Oh and Colby, put the bottle down, you know it's not that smart of a choice especially after how much you drank the other night. Take care of yourself loser." I groaned, realizing she was right as always and put the cap back on tightly, before tossing the bottle under my bed. She's right, they're all right. I need to take more care of myself. After all, i still had a 'date' tomorrow.

a/n: i also really recommend Slip by Elliot Moss, i've listened to him for the longest time, and i really think there is a deeper meaning 10/10 for me.