The Alpha's Broken Runt

Chapter Thirty-Seven

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I follow the ripples the wind drags through the curtains framing the single window of this room. I imagine that is what the thoughts dragging across my mind must look like. Sporadic, uncoordinated, lost.
I took to the curtains when the view beyond the window started to look fake, I had been staring for so long I think someone could have convinced me it were truly a painting if they tried.
This bed grew tiring after a day, and now standing at a week and a half of being trapped in its pristine white walls, I think I might have truly gone insane.
I still don't know anything of what has happened, the visits I have are short and few, everyone has been much too busy ever since the attack. I can't blame them for it, it's my fault it happened to begin with, after all.
I've seen Theodore a few times, Teddy twice, and Lillian checks on me at least twice a day, but I haven't had the nerve to ask anyone the questions gnawing at my mind. There are too many to count.
I stared out the window a lot, hoping, willing to see the black wolf I knew so well as a child, praying that I could have another glance, another moment. Did he truly leave? Maybe it was all in my head to begin with.
I jump at the sound of the door opening, turning quickly to see Lillian entering my room. "Oh, you are awake. Good afternoon, Eleanor, how are you feeling today?" She crosses the room and snags my clipboard off the counter. "I'm okay, a little sore, but not anything I'm not used to." She hums to herself, flipping a couple pages before making her way over to me.
She checks over my mostly healed wounds after she checks my vitals, informing me that everything looks normal. "Okay, you can come in now." I give Lillian a puzzled look that she returns with a smile, and a moment later Alex steps into the room.
"Alex!" I shout, grumbling as Lillian prevents me from standing up. "Hey, girl, calm down. How are you feeling?" Alex sits gently at the foot of my bed, concern evident in his features. "Oh, I'm fine! Why haven't I seen you at all?" He laughs nervously and casts a quick glance to Lillian. "I'm really sorry, I would have come sooner but I've been really busy, among other things..."
"Theodore didn't want any men visiting if you weren't awake." Lillian pipes in, and I groan as I lean back. "How does he know if I'm awake or not." She gives a half hearted shrug before sending a pointed look to Alex. "Look, I don't blame him, what's important is I'm here now, and you're okay! You scared the hell out of me, you know." I sigh quietly before nodding. "I know, and I'm so sorry. I had to trust what Scott..." I trail off, my words lingering in the silence of the room.
Lillian clears her throat, breaking the silence. "I am allowing you to go for a walk." I perk up, my eyes snapping to meet hers. "Really?"
"Yes, only, if you promise to be extra careful, and absolutely no shifting. I thought Alex would be a good companion for you." I look to him excitedly and he smiles nervously at me. "And I think you both have a lot to talk about." I glance at Lillian, and in the midst of my confusion catch a look she gives Alex. Something is going on here.
"Okay... Can we go now?" She nods. "If you get tired at all or feel any pain, stop immediately."

Alex stays quiet for a while even after we've made our way to the tree line, he just studies me as I drag my hand along each passing tree. "So, what's on your mind?" I sigh, dropping my hand to my side as I steal a glance towards him. "What... happened? I mean, to everyone. To you guys, to... Johnson, and..." I swallow hard. Do I want to know?
"Well, we're all okay, there were a few others that had injuries, but none as severe as yours. Johnson is still alive, surprisingly. Theodore wants him alive, but Teddy and Oliver also have to keep him out of his cell, and..." He breathes deeply but doesn't say more.
"Alex... is my brother alive? I mean... was that really him? Did that really happen?"
"Yes, to both- I mean, we think he's alive, I guess we can't be sure. They've been trying to get information out of Johnson, but he doesn't give it easily. All we know right now is that he, your brother, was under some kind of mind control of sorts, and we think it probably still has some sort of power over him." So he did leave. How did I lose him again? I barely even had him.
"I'm sure Theodore can give you more information on it, he's only told me the surface of things. You should talk to him." I nod, not trusting my voice to handle the pressure of talking.
"We'll figure this out, Eleanor. But your brother is alive! Try to focus on that part, okay?" When I look back up at Alex, I can see the sadness in his eyes, the pain he's always had. I bet he would kill to be in my place right now.
I take a deep breath and clear my throat, ignoring the tightness as I push down the emotions crawling up. "What's up with you and Lillian?" Alex physically jumps, looking towards me in a panic. "What? Huh? There- there's nothing between me and her- I mean, nothing's up!" He looks towards the ground and curses under his breath, redness spreading across his features.
Oh my god. I don't think I've ever seen him this embarrassed or nervous before. "I'm going to find out eventually, you might as well just go ahead and tell me."
I watch as he scrambles for a few moments before sighing, stopping his movements. I turn so I am standing in front of him, watching him expectantly. "I... we're... she's... my mate..." I gasp loudly, punching him in the arm. "And you weren't going to tell me! That's amazing news Alex! Wait, have you known this whole time!?" He shakes his head in a panic.
"No, no. Well, she did, but I didn't. I'm not sure if it was timing or maybe the fact that Leo has still been mostly dormant, but I didn't get the pull until a few days ago. It's quite embarrassing if I think too long about it. She knew that whole time!" Oh my, that must have been torture for Lillian. It's not unheard of for mates to awaken at different times, there's a lot of factors that can go into it, it depends on what is best for each wolf and their relationship. It happened to the Betas of my father's pack, his bond awakened before her's did, and he had to wait months before she finally realized. It isn't often people confess to feeling the bond if it isn't mutual, it goes poorly too often and people aren't very trusting of someone confessing something of so much importance, especially if they're a higher rank, which she was.
Numerous Alpha's have had people confess to a one sided bond, only for their true mate to be found later on.
"Oh, don't be embarrassed, it's not uncommon! I'm just so happy for you both, Alex. You deserve someone like Lillian. Plus, you could probably benefit from having a doctor as a mate, you hurt yourself way too often." He scoffs, sending me an incredulous look. "You are certainly not one to talk, Eleanor." I roll my eyes and wave him off.
"Look, Lillian said you can go back to staying in your own room today. I'd recommend talking to Theodore when you get the chance to. He's been busy, but he's been worried sick about you." I wish he wouldn't worry so much, he should be focusing on what's important.
"Eleanor, I know what you're thinking. You are what's important to him. Most of all." I sigh and nod, choosing to avoid the conversation we would have if I argued. I don't know why Theodore would think so highly of me.
You're his mate. And he loves you, Eleanor. I ignore her statement, following Alex as we walk back in silence to the infirmary.
I congratulate Lillian and hug her tightly when we get there, telling her how happy I am for them both, because truly, I am. I couldn't have asked for my friends to have anyone better.
Alex helps me bring my things back to the main house, then departs to take care of something undisclosed, leaving me alone, once again, with my thoughts.
I finally had the courage to ask about my brother, and I barely learned anything from it. It's been over a week, and they hardly have any more information? If he's been running, there's no telling how far away he is by now, I could truly never see him again.
It feels like my mourning is restarting from day one. I'd barely come to accept his death from over fourteen years ago, and now I've just lost him all over again.
I'm curled in a ball in my bed when I hear someone stomping down the hallway outside of my room. I perk up at the sound in a mix of curiosity and fear, slinking my way out of bed and over to my door. When I peek outside of my door, I find Theodore stopped short a few feet before it, a look of panic clear on his face as he registers my presence.
"Theodore?" I go to step fully out of my room and stop short, suddenly taking in the state of his person. His clothes are dirty and stained, at first I think it's dirt before it dawns on me that its dried blood. My eyes trail down his scratched arms and land on his knuckles, which are bruised and bloodied. "Eleanor-" I swallow the fear creeping up my throat and ignore the shiver that goes down my spine at the sight of him.
"Are you okay?" His panic turns into hesitation as he studies me for a moment. "Uh... yes..." I step out of my room. "Is that your blood?" I step closer, he steps back, I give him a puzzled look. "No! Uh, mostly not."
"Is it... his?" I watch him swallow hard, uncertainty clear as he rushes his hands behind his back. He doesn't say anything, but I know the answer.
Is this what Alex meant? That Theodore had to be kept out of Johnson's cell, because this is what happens when he's not? Is this all for his pack?
"I'm sorry, Eleanor, you weren't meant to see me like this. I didn't even know you were discharged, let me go get cleaned up, please." He goes to brush past me but I halt him with my hand.
"Are you okay, Theodore? What happened?" His eyes take in my hand against his skin, and his brows furrow as he looks towards my face. "Theodore?" Something breaks in his composure and his body starts to shake under my fingertips, his voice coming out raspy and pained.
"I just... I can't look at him without seeing you, seeing the pain he's caused you, seeing the still fresh wounds of my failure. I see him and I can hardly contain myself, I can't keep my composure. It's the weakest I've ever felt. I've never been more angry."
I take in his appearance again, the blood soaked into his clothes, the scratches down his arms and the blood drying around his knuckles. All of that is for me?
"For... me?" The words feel foreign in my mouth, but when I look into his eyes, I see the anger he's talking about, the painful type of anger. "Of course for you, Eleanor." His voice breaks, and I trail my fingers down his skin before dropping my hand to my side.
I take a deep breath before I grab his hand, pulling him down the hallway behind me. His shock turns into confusion when I walk us into his room, and he stammers as I lock his door.
"Wha- Eleanor, what are you doing? Are you okay?" I laugh to myself, and once he slowly enters the bathroom behind me, I'm already warming the water of his shower.
"Eleanor, I'm confused." He studies my hands as I get the right temperature, standing back up to take in Theodore's appearance again. He looks exhausted, his shoulders are sagging and it looks like it's taking everything in him just to stand in front of me.
His expression is puzzled as he watches me walk up to him, and I glide my hands across his arms and down his chest, resting them on the hem of his shirt. I hesitate for a moment, just a moment, while I really realize what I'm doing. His confusion turns to panic when I begin lifting his shirt, and he stammers something incoherent before surrendering and allowing me to help him take it off. I study his skin for a few moments, I've never really paid attention the few times he's had his shirt off. He has a lot of scars, small ones, mostly, probably from fights if I had to guess, but he does have a large one trailing from his collarbone to his hip on the opposite side. I don't ask him about it.
My hands move to his belt as I fiddle with the hook, and the voice I hear isn't one I'm used to. "Eleanor! What are you doing?" It's not angry, his question sounds weak, and when I look up at Theodore, there's a version of him I've never seen before. His face is flushed, and when I try to meet his eyes he quickly looks away from me, swallowing hard as he stares intently at the fogged window of his bathroom.
I place a soft kiss on his chest, hearing his breath hitch before continuing my mission of undoing his belt, I ignore how hot his skin feels against mine. When I do finally get his belt undone, Theodore won't make eye contact with me, but quickly hurries to replace my hands with his when I attempt to remove his pants.
He eventually understood what I was doing, and I didn't have to ask him to keep his boxers on before he stepped into the shower, avoiding my gaze as I brush a stray strand of his dark hair out of his eye.
He protests when I step in behind him, complaining that my clothes will get wet. "You did all of that for me, let me do this for you, please?" He hesitates, but nods to me, his skin burning a brighter red as I begin to wash out his hair. His sagged shoulders help, but I still have to stand on my tiptoes to be able to reach his head well. When my hands move to his shoulders he tenses up in a panic, but as I wash away his day, I feel him relax into my touch.
It's when I'm nearly finished with what I can see that I nearly stumble back, feeling Theodore's arm wrap quickly around my waist to stabilize me. It stays there long after I'm steady, and when I'm done ridding him of his day, I ask if he's okay.
"Why?" He questions softly, and I give him a puzzled look when he meets my gaze. "Why all of this? You're soaking wet in your clothes, why?" I give him a small smile, placing a light kiss on his chest in front of me, feeling his grip on me tighten.
"I trust you, Theodore. And if you'll go through all of that for me, I want to do something for you." He places his head into the crook of my neck, his other arm going to the wall to keep us stable as he mumbles something into my skin. I move away from him slowly and he releases me immediately, standing up straight again.
"You finish here, I'll grab you some clothes, okay?" I blush at the situation and he nods to me, studying my face.
He has privacy in his shower, so I take a moment to dry myself best I can when I exit. My hair and shirt is dripping, I'm just glad I was wearing shorts. I squeeze what water I can out of my hair and shirt over his sink and take to wrapping a towel around myself as I scurry out of his bathroom. I'm not entirely sure what Theodore wears to sleep, but I grab something I think is suitable just as the shower turns off. "Uh, I have your clothes, just let me know when I can give them to you." My breath hitches when he opens the door, a towel around his waist. I look at the ground as I hand them to him, and he takes them wordlessly before closing the door between us.
I breathe deeply, taking a few steps away from the door as I take in what just happened, what I just did. What did I just do? Was that even okay? I feel panic start to rise in my throat, was that wrong of me? Did he feel forced? What if-
My thoughts are cut off by him exiting the bathroom, and when my eyes meet his, I see the concern that fills them. "Eleanor? Are you okay?" He moves to me quickly, taking my hand in his as panic washes over his features.
"Was... Was that okay? Did you feel forced? Did-"
"No, Eleanor, I did not feel forced, do you regret it?" He asks, something I can't recognize flashing through his eyes. "No! No... I've just... Never done anything like that before."
"Well, neither have I." I look at him surprised, surely he must be lying. I'm sure he's done much more than that with women before. He leans down close to me, so close I can feel his breath on my face, before he hesitates. "I'm going to kiss you, Eleanor, and I want you to know that you are the only person I ever have." He only waits a moment before I feel his lips press against mine, and the shock of his statement melts away with the electricity running through my skin. I push closer to him, and I feel his arm wrap around me as he pulls me in, deepening our kiss as he pours his truth into it.
He pulls away, looking sheepish as he takes a step back. I clear my throat awkwardly, reeling from his kiss but attempting to gain my composure. "You should... Get some sleep." I mutter and he nods, a sigh escaping his lips. "Yes, you should too, please."
When my door clicks closed behind me my hand goes to my chest. Did I really just do that? Did we really just do that??

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Please read all of this if you're able to <3 I know its a lot

Hello all :) Long time no see. So, just so we're all on the same page:

1) This is the first of five chapters I will be posting, as I have fully written and now completed this story. The ending might feel a bit weird, and that will be mostly because when I originally wrote this book 4+ years ago, I didn't plan anything out, and I'm also pretty sure I planned to have a sequel (younger me didn't know what a stand alone book was apparently) (my writing is also still a little rusty).

2) There will be a spam of updates in the coming weeks, sometime after the last chapter is posted, this is because I have gone through and mildly revised the other 36 chapters. I did not change much lore-wise except for her canon height and I also removed any mention of "little mate". I'm pretty sure I took inspiration from a different book for that, but now that I'm 20, it gives me an immense ick.
I do think I'll eventually properly rewrite the whole series, but for now I just made it SLIGHTLY less cringy and fixed the typos. The comments and stuff will likely be messed up, too, since the formatting will be different.
I've debated rebranding the book, but that is not something I've settled on yet.

3) If you have any questions about anything, this book, anything to do with me, OR even my other books, feel free to ask them here, and I'll do my best to answer in the comments or in a coming chapter, whichever seems more suitable.

4) Really random, would you guys be interested in a discord server if I made one? Probably writing/art centered, and we could all just hang out? Lmk!

5) Most importantly, I want to greatly thank anyone who has read my book, and if you're still here, that's even more amazing. I lost myself for a long while, and I'm working on finding myself again. Me finishing this book is just a gift to those who have supported my writing even though it's really cringy and obviously grown from wattpad. Speaking of, I'm also sorry for the whiplash my change in writing style probably gave you.

Thank you for all you have done for me

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