Story of A Lonely Guy

Chapter 26: Sick

I eye him tentatively and he just looks at me with the same doped up smile. I’m frozen in his grip so I loosen up a bit, placing both hands on his back. He releases his hold on me and withdraws. His blue eyes search my face. For what, I have no idea.

“How are you and Angela doing? I know I was a little messed up the last time I saw you but…” His words trail off as he makes a motion with his hand. Why’s he asking about Angela and me? We’ve been broken up for a while and… he doesn’t know. He must see the confusion on my face.

“Oh! Sorry, dude. Didn’t mean to get too personal. Just wanted to make sure y’all were getting along fine.” He thinks I’m defensive of the question but really, I’m fucking lost.

“Nah man, it’s fine. We’re good. Ya know how Angela can be,” I tell him, playing along like everything’s just peachy. I give him a reassuring smile, just to be safe. God, what the hell is wrong with her?

His face contorts before he smiles with his yellowed teeth smile. “Oh! Good, good. Glad to hear that. I was just going for some coffee and a beer. You can come if ya like? Always room for someone else? It is Christmas tomorrow, yanno,” he offers up.

“I’ve actually got a few things I got to do. Do some last minute shopping and what not. Maybe some other time?” I let my feet start to take me away.

“Yeah, yeah. I understand. Well, Merry Christmas!” He goes for a handshake and I falter a bit, realizing what he’s doing just before he reaches me. I shake his hand which is surprisingly soft, before smiling and heading in the direction I was going before. Boy, does she have some explaining to do.

~

The records in the passenger seat bounce up and down to the movement of the truck over the potholes and I can hear the constant rubbing sound of the plastic bag against them. His smug face is lodged into my mind and like a moving portrait it bothers me to no end. God, he was so cleaned up. How did he even come off of the high? He must’ve been popping those pills like they were candy. I still remember Angela becoming outraged at being told she was ripping someone off. She was livid, possibly even frightened.

I have so memories of her, of the both of us, and it pisses me off. My hands are changing from pink to paper white. I’ve unconsciously started gripping the steering wheel. I squeeze once and release. The way she made me feel still drives me over the edge. She had so much control over me and fuck, I should’ve never been with her… I should’ve been with Jade. It’s still unbelievable what I would’ve done for her. It was almost as though I was the one on drugs instead. I clung to her like a wet washcloth. She was my motivation to do anything.

I tried so hard to be with her and at the end of the war I realized I should’ve been fighting to be with Jade to begin with. It was a waste of the precious time I could’ve put towards keeping my life in line. But, I didn’t and I’m left with the consequences. I look down at the gas gauge just as the E light starts blinking. Thankfully, there’s a gas station up ahead. I turn on my blinker and pull in, almost hitting the curb as I do. Cars are scattered over the lot and there’s one open space at the other end.