Hey Stranger

Sorry

Steve couldn't cry anymore. He didn't want to move and felt like he couldn't but he needed some water. It felt like he floated to his feet and to the kitchen, like he'd lost feeling in his entire body. He went to pour a glass of water but with a shaky hand he grabbed the bottle of scotch from the cabinet instead.

He never opened it because he couldn't get drunk and he never really saw the point, but tonight he felt like all he wanted to do was get drunk.

He collapsed onto his kitchen floor and leaned against on the cabinets as he opened the bottle. Without re thinking, he started to down the bottle.

He felt it for all of 10 seconds then went away. Al he wanted to do was forget. Forget about the strys, forget about the whip, forget about being hung from the ceiling, but mostly he wanted to forget hurting tony.

He loved him so much, that having to let him go now was beyond painful. But even if tony forgave him, he felt like he couldn't trust himself around anyone anymore. What if he did it again? What if he actually kills someone this time? Even unconscious, it would be his hands doing the damage.

He stood back up and grabbed two more random bottles of liquor he found in his cabinet and sat back down.

After downing both bottles, and after the buzz wore off quickly, he threw each one at the wall and curled up into a ball in the corner of his kitchen.

•••

Tony landed outside of his building and stepped out of his suit quickly, "roof." The suit flew up to the complex's roof. He walked into the building quickly and ran up the stairs. Once he made it to steves door he took a deep breath before knocking. After a minute and no response, he knocked again. Still nothing. He felt around the doorframe for a spare key and found one, he slid into the doorknob and opened it slowly. The lights were off and it was quiet.

Creeping his way around the living room and finding nothing, he turned to see steve passed out in the kitchen. He walked up quickly, "steve!?" He said and he jerked awake, "steve, what's going on? Are you okay?" He knelt down beside him, avoiding the broken glass all over the floor and went to put a hand on his shoulder and he jerked away.

"Don't!" He shouted and scooter away, "don't..." tears welled up in his eyes, "I-I can't.. I don't want to hurt you again."

Tony furrowed his eyebrows and put his hand down, "steve... you can't hurt me again. You didn't hurt me in the first place." He said quietly and slowly got closer.

"Yes I did." He saw his black eye and the ring of dark bruises around his neck, "I did that to you... you-you should go, you don't have to take care of me anymore" he said sadly and winced as he moved his leg.

"Steve, you're hurt come on—" he moved to help him up and get at least get him to the couch, but steve moved away from him again. "Steve... it wasn't your fault, you didn't do this" tears formed in his eyes, "and I know I don't have to, I want to..." he said calmly and softly put his hand on top of steves, "I love you and nothing is going to change that" steve made eye contact and his jaw shook as tears continued to flow down his cheeks, "I love you" tony repeated and cupped steves cheek.

Steve leaned his head into tonys hand and shut his eyes tightly, "I'm so sorry... I'm so so sorry tony" he started sobbing and tony moved closer to pull him into his arms.

Steve shoved his face into tonys shoulder and continued to sob, "I know, I know... it's okay, you're going to be okay" he said soothingly and squeezed him tightly.

"I love you so much, I would never do that" steve mumbled into his sweatshirt and gripped onto him tightly.

"I know, I'm sorry I left I should've stayed with you" he pulled away from the hug a bit to kiss his forehead and look at him directly in the eyes, "I'm not going anywhere"