psycho - nct, markhyuck

⍨ chapter 8

"donghyuck?"

i looked at mark who was visibly waiting for an answer, but i hadn't heard his question.

"i asked you if you needed something?" mark repeated. "you seem to be in deep thinking."

well... of course i was.

what was i looking for?

the first part of my plan was successfully achieved already:

[x] seduce mark with my beautiful looks

[x] make mark see only me

[x] eliminate every being that gets in my way to mark

some parts were still a bit blurry, actually, but we were getting there:

[～] make mark fall for me for good this time

[～] make mark believe i am still in love with him

and then, there were those last four points that i didn't know how to get rid of... how would i do that?

[  ] abandon mark like he did

[  ] hurt mark like no one ever hurt anyone before

[  ] crush mark's heart like he crushed mine

[  ] make mark disappear from my life

because i had a problem.

did i really want to abandon mark?

did i really want to hurt mark?

did i really want to crush mark's heart?

did i really want to make him disappear from my life?

how much as i want to answer 'yes' to those questions, because this asshole did unforgivable things to me, i can't.

i don't know why...

i just can't.

something might be wrong with me.

"donghyuck?" mark called my name again once i rose to my feet abruptly.

"i'm sorry mark, i need to see my psychologist." i replied honestly.

some things were going on inside my head.

some good ones, but some bad things as well.

i had to get rid of them.

the quickest possible.

"do you need me to accompany you?" he asked kindly.

i shook my head. "i'm sorry, but that's not necessary." i said before dashing towards doyoung's office.

i entered his office and closed the door before he could notice i had entered.

"hello donghyuck." he said, not lifting his head from his papers. "you'll need to be quick, i have a patient in fifteen minutes."

i nodded and rushed to his desk, pushing his documents aside and replacing them with my black notebook instead.

"i have a problem." i told him.

"which is?"

"those three points are done." i explained, pointing at the three first ones.

he hummed.

"those two are in progress." i continued, my finger trailing on the two next.

he nodded.

"but i'm blocked on the last three."

he took the notebook and looked through the pages, chuckling after.

"you really ticked the boxes on all the pages?" he raised a brow. "you are a psychopath donghyuck."

i scoffed. "i don't think it's something you should hear coming from your psychologist."

doyoung coughed. "yeah, sorry. but, huh... blocked?"

"yeah, what do i do?"

"well, you can't pass to step six if you haven't completed step four." doyoung said.

i shook my head. "that's not what i meant."

"what do you mean then?"

"what if i don't manage to complete them?"

doyoung's expression softened.

"it's just that?"

i scoffed. "just that?! it's a big deal!"

doyoung laughed. "it's not donghyuck. when are you going to realise that you are still head over heels for mark lee?"

i felt my cheeks heating up. "i-i'm not."

"you are. that's surely why these disorders took this extent."

i thought for a second. "and what if i am? is it a bad thing?"

doyoung shook his head.

"actually, it could be the only efficient cure to the illness..."