BREATHE FOR ME

Chapter 25: The Truth

When I wake up, I have to tear my eyes open against their will. They feel so heavy and dense, and I instantly know that something's wrong. My room doesn't smell like my room, it smells like furniture polish in here. My bed doesn't feel like my bed, it feels too hard under my weight. Forcing myself to wake up, despite feeling completely numb and unmovable, is a challenge. It takes me ages to urge my muscles to come to life. My body just doesn't want to obey my mind. What's happening to me? Why can't I wake up? There's a bright light behind my eyelids, and it seems to be feeding me a painful headache.

By the time that I do manage to force my eyes open, the headache has developed into a full blown migraine, ripping my head in two. The bright light of the room that I'm in is stinging me, everything's too harsh. I squint, forcing myself to focus on what's around me and eventually, I start to adjust to my surrounds. An anxious feeling blossoms in my chest, spreading to my cold fingers. This isn't my room. This room is a lot smaller. Three of the tall walls are painted a cream colour and one wall is completely made up of red bricks with three empty shelves screwed into the ensemble. Is that supposed to be artistic? I'm currently laid out in a thick single bed, covered with two heavy, white duvets. Against the wall in front of me is a wooden wardrobe, it looks brand new, and a small desk beside it. There aren't any pictures or ornaments, making the room look tragically bare. Confusion is flooding my body, making me feel so very scared. Where am I? This isn't my room-

Almost as soon as I've thought it, a painful ache begins to eat at my chest, paralysing me for a second. Oh my goodness... My fight with Lorrie. The yellow letter on my bed. Throwing up too much and crying uncontrollably. My phone call with Lucan. Telling Lorrie that I love him. Leaving with William Shelley. Maddie collapsing on the road in tears as I left. The lemony-detergent spray that made everything go black. William drugged me. Everything begins to flood back into my brain, which makes my eyes burn with tears and my chest ache painfully with distress. What have I done?

I instantly sit up in the bed, unable to lay down for any longer. As soon as I do, my head stings unbearably, making me flinch. I think I'm going to be sick. What have I done? How could I be so stupid? So reckless? How could I do this to Lorrie? To my family? Oh my goodness, Maddie. She's never going to forgive me for this stunt. I might never see her again. I may never see my Mom again. Leaning forwards, I sob heavily into the duvet, allowing my chest to shake away all of my regret. I've hurt so many people by doing this. All because I couldn't just sit on the side-lines and know my place. I've put all of The Rose Street Boys in danger, I've put my boys in danger, after everything that they've done to keep me safe. What kind of stupid, reckless child would do that?

Suddenly the door opens, and I snap my head up off of the duvet and corner myself away from the door. Tears continue to flow down my hot face but I can't stop them. It's all too much.

"Hello Gen." the quiet voice of William floats through the door, closely followed by his large body. My stomach churns on itself at the sight of his face, I really need to throw up. "No, no, no don't be scared of me."

He shuts the door behind him and quietly makes his way over to the bed, towards me, trying to look non-threatening. I freeze, unable to breathe or move out of fear. Silently, tears continue to trickle down my cheeks, making small pathways of salty regret down to my chin, where they fall onto the white duvet.

"You- you drugged me." I whisper, hating the way that my voice stammers out of fear.

"Yes, it's nothing personal." He sits down at the end of my bed, far enough away from me that I can sit up and stop cowering but close enough that if I was to make a run for it, he could easily grab me. "We couldn't have you knowing about our base and where it is. Just in case you decided to text your boyfriend and give him any information about our site. Those boys don't have the best interest at heart for us Shelley's. You see, we're letting you keep your phone, and your little pen knife for that matter. You're not our prisoner."