BREATHE FOR ME

Chapter 6: Marchesi

After a good sleep and a morning of 'back-to-school' shopping with Mom and Gran, the cold, icky feeling in my stomach, a result of last night's events, begins to ease off. I decide not to tell anyone about my awkward encounter with Scary Guy because I'm determined not to be pathetic. As part of this new chapter in my life, I don't want to seem small and delicate anymore. As I fell asleep last night, after the BBQ, I couldn't help but feel disrespected, not just by Scary Guy, but by myself as well. I should've been more confident in myself, gone up to the car and commented on it, said hello, just made an effort. How silly I was, just stood there watching him. That way I wouldn't look small, I'd look bold. That part of my life is behind me. This new chapter means that I can be strong, bold and confident in myself and my abilities. This is the mind-set I build myself as the three of us enter the pulmonology clinic in central Phoenix. As we check in and wait to be seated in the waiting area, I think to myself that if I ever see Scary Guy again, I get the feeling I will, then I will push my fear aside and be confident in myself.

"Where were those two off to today?" Gran asks Mom, referring to Maddie and Teddy. I sit between them like an awkward piece of furniture.

"A botanical garden or something?" Mum scratches her head and shrugs. "I don't really know. When she explained it to me, she was in such a rush of excitement. I didn't have time to ask any questions, she practically took me out on the stairs when she ran to get ready at seven. I was still in my dressing gown."

"The youth of today." Gran sits back in her chair, wriggling to get comfortable against the hard plastic.

"He brought more flowers, some kind of daisy-looking thing this time. I don't know where he gets them from, we live in the desert for goodness sakes." She laughs, shaking her head. "She doesn't realise how lucky she is to find a man falling at her feet. I'm gonna have to buy some more vases before the month is out."

"Maybe we can ask him to start bring cakes instead? Or pizza, Italians are good with their pizza." I chip in, nudging the pair of them. Mom scoffs and Gran rolls her eyes.

"I don't understand how you can eat so much Genie yet never put on any weight. People would kill for your body, yet all it's fuelled off is muffins." Gran says as she squeezes my leg.

"You have to say that, you're my Gran." I tut.

"Your Gran is a very truthful old-bag of a woman." Mom says, smirking. This time Gran scoffs, picking up one of the glossy magazines from the table. "Anyways, I'm just glad to see a glimmer of the old Maddie again. It feels like such a long time since I've seen her get excited over anything. All I want for my girls are two boys that worship the ground they walk upon, I won't settle for anything less."

She picks up my hand and squeezes it. I'm about to reply when we're cut off by a nurse and called into a small office-like room. A petite, young woman sits at a wooden desk, sorting through a stack of papers. When we come in to the minty-smelling room, she stands and leans over the desk, shaking everyone's hands. Her hand feels cold and very small which, coming from me, says something. When we take a seat around the desk, she dazzles us all with a grin and introduces herself as Dr Lea. Then, wasting no time, she quickly runs through the paperwork with Mom and me, asking us to sign in multiple places and quickly read through the treatment plan. Already having a copy of the plan, and having read through it multiple times over the last few days, it doesn't take long to finish up. Then, pushing the paperwork aside, she pulls three thick tubes of brightly coloured drugs out of the desk drawer. She quickly runs us through the side effects of using drugs, which are unlikely apparently. Then, she emphasizes the basic facts that I need to know like which ones to take, when and what they do. The larger drugs, which are yellow, are to be taken in the morning once I have woken up. These ones thin my blood, increasing the rate of flow to my lungs at any time. The tiny pills, which are green, are to be taken after I have eaten my lunch. These ones physically strengthen my lungs, increasing their elasticity therefore increasing the surface area so that more gas exchange can take place. The square ones, which are white, are to be taken before I go to sleep. These ones dissolve any unwanted substances in the lungs, making it easier for my white blood cells to break it all down. Each type of drugs has a purpose and is not to be missed.