BREATHE FOR ME

Chapter 24: Bad Guys And Good Guys

By the time that I get home, I'm too tired to talk to Mom or Maddie, or anyone else for that matter. I feel completely drained of any kind of emotion. Weirdly, I don't even feel sad. I just feel physically and emotionally exhausted. My legs feel numb, like I've been sat down for too long and now they're just lifeless pieces of muscle. Passing my two relatives in the lounge, I ignore their questioning stares and just tell them that Lorrie and I had a fight, hoping that they don't harass me. Being a good Mom and sister, they don't. Instead, Mom silently makes me a cup of hot cocoa and Maddie gives me a quick hug before going upstairs to her room. They both know me well enough now to know that there's more going on underneath. They know that I need space and time to be alone. I thank Mom, give her a quick kiss, and then follow Maddie, deciding that an early night is probably a good shout.

Once I'm finally alone in my room, I decide to get changed into some sweat pants and a white tank. My clothes from today are still damp and cold against my skin, a reminder of the events of tonight. A reminder of Lorrie. I don't need that right now.

I then flick on my fairy lights and switch the main light off, liking the gentle flashes of the lights on the dark walls. Suddenly, a memory floods my mind...

"Un milione di volte sopra, dirò sempre di sì." He said quietly, almost as a whisper. It's Lorenzo in the botanical gardens with thousands of tiny, flashing fairy lights that make his face look golden in the darkness of the room. He looks fresh, alive, and beautiful. He looks like my Lorrie. Listening to Lorenzo speak in his home language was like listening to clear water flow down a stream. It was so beautifully natural. "Alla ragazza che mi ha insegnato a non temere le infinite possibilità dell'amore."-

Shaking my head firmly to physically rid myself of the memory, I flick the main light back on. After a few seconds, I decide to open up my laptop on my work desk and pull up the google translate section, converting Italian into English. I had forgotten about this moment in the garden, I was too busy drowning in the moment. Seconds later, the translation comes through, stopping my heart.

A million times over, I'll always say yes. To the girl who taught me not to fear the infinite possibilities of love.

He said that... I taught him to stop fearing love? That was so long ago... My heart feels frozen in my chest, as if it's forgotten how to beat. Have I just made a huge mistake? No. He's pushing you out, Gen. He's pushing you away from him again, after he promised that he wouldn't.

Shaking my head again and snapping my eyes shut, I ignore the stinging behind my eyes as tears begin to well up behind my eyelids. My Lorrie. I miss him so much. New York feels like a lifetime ago yet it was only a week. The brilliant lights of Time Square, it was only a week ago. How badly I long to be back in the middle of it all. I remember feeling like we were the only two people alive. His huge, easy smile when I said yes to become his girlfriend. His vibrant, excited eyes were full of energy. He was happy. Genuinely happy. That's the Lorrie I need to fight for.

Opening my eyes, I'm surprised to notice that the tears have disappeared. Man, I am such an emotional mess right now. I decide to get into bed and try and sleep some of the emotions away but as I get closer, I notice a yellow envelope placed neatly at the end of my bed, stopping me in my tracks. Lorrie? No. May? No. Morgan? Could it be?

Quickly snatching up the paper, I take a seat on the top of my bed and tear the seal from the envelope. It feels unnervingly cold on my skin. As I pull the paper out, I notice that the inky handwriting on the paper is fresh, as though it has been written recently. Some of the ink is smudged, as if it's been written quickly.

Gen,

There is more to the story than what The Rose Street gang members are telling you.