BREATHE FOR ME

Chapter 26: Total Lockdown

For the next two days, I am kept on lockdown inside of my room, guarded by one of the burly blondes from the crime scene. I'm only allowed to visit the bathroom down the hall. Apparently it's my punishment for disrespecting the boss, coating him in beans and bacon in front of his staff. Do I regret it? Absolutely not. However, by the time that day two ends, the silence of my room is starting to drive me crazy. All I can think about is my family, my Mom's distressed face. The pain and worry that she must be going through right now will be destroying her. if i only i could text her and let her know that I'm alright... and that I'm sorry. The guilt builds up every minute of the day, filling every available space of my mind with regret and anger. I can't believe that I was so stupid, so reckless. And this is pretty much how I spend my time, eating rubbish food that they bring me three times a day, searching my room for signal, unfolding and re-folding my clothes, walking to the bathroom over and over again, reciting what I'm going to say when I see Lorrie again, finding and covering the security cameras in my room, and even having dead-end conversations with my blonde best friend outside. Note sarcasm. Let's just say that he doesn't appreciate my friendly efforts.

Late on Monday night, I am sprawled across the floor of my room counting the number of spiders under my bed when I get a smart tap on the door. Getting up from my blank daze, slightly annoyed that I've been forced to end my count on a negative number, I make my way over to the door and prepare for my next awkward conversation with blondie.

Instead, I open the door to a familiar face.

"Hi Gen." Morgan says quietly, taking me by surprise. She's dressed in black jeans and a simple white cropped shirt. She's not wearing any make-up which makes her look five years younger, more insecure. She has a dark, angry-looking bruise developing across one of her cheeks, similar to the bruise across my right knuckles. I involuntarily glance down at my hand and refuse to feel sorry for her. "I know that you don't really want to see me right now, but I thought that you could use some company. It gets pretty lonely around here."

"I really don't have the energy to talk with you right now Morgan." I say, unable to meet her eyes. I suddenly feel very tired.

"Then let's not talk, let's just walk for a bit? William doesn't mind me letting you out now, I've been nagging him all day. He's gotten over the food hall incident." She says quickly, taking a step back so that the empty hallway is visible in front of me. It takes all of my remaining willpower to keep myself from running like a crazy person down the hallway, the first chance of freedom that I've had in days. "Plus, I have something that I want to show you."

"Something that you want to show me?" I say in disbelief, meeting her eyes. "Are you kidding me? We aren't friends anymore Morgan. We don't hang out. Honestly, I'd rather sit in my empty room for another week than go on a walk with you after everything that you've done. You betrayed Lorrie and me. We loved you! You were like a sister to Lorrie, one of my best friends. How can you even think for a second that this could all be fixed with a walk?"

She forces herself not to flinch away from me, even though I can see the shame and hurt that flashes through her eyes. It makes me want to cry for the pair of us, to mourn for our friendship. Where did everything go so wrong?

"I know that I've hurt you both badly, I know that we're never going to be friends again after this, and I know that you're never going to forgive me. I don't expect you too, but you need to know my reasons before you judge me Gen. Because if you were in my shoes, I think that you may think slightly different of me." She says evenly, not letting herself be hurt by my words.

My mind instantly goes to Thea and sympathy betrays me. I look down at the worn blue carpet in the corridor, letting my brain go where she wants it to go. If Maddie was still alive and being kept captive, would I betray my new friend to save her? Would I risk my own safety, my own happiness, to give her hers back? I don't even need to think any further to know the answer.