BREATHE FOR ME

Chapter 7: May

The next few days went by in a whirlwind of school preparation, sun-lounging with the family, fighting off Teddy with his teasing comments, easing myself into my new treatment plan and completing a hand load of sketches. My sketchbook, which I had started to carry around the house every day, is starting to look a little more bulky with detailed sketches of the city skyline, over-flowing hanging baskets from the front of the house, Gran and George gazing at each other in the kitchen, Maddie asleep in her red bikini and lastly, my most delicate piece, a glossy-looking motorcycle with a deep engraving on the body; Marchesi.

My first day of school came upon me way too quickly. Given that Mom hasn't yet found a job in the city, she agrees to drive me to school saving me from the terror of a school bus. Maddie helps me decide on a pretty mundane outfit, purposefully put together to help me blend in yet express myself. At times like this, I'm glad that one of us has an actual high school experience. With Maddie rummaging through my shoe draw on a mission, I slip into some faded blue mom jeans and a white, floral long-sleeve. I let my hair loose from its overnight braid, allowing the thick waves of my dark hair to cascade down to my waist. I quickly apply a coat of mascara and slip a strawberry lip balm into my pink, cotton canvas bag; alongside my textbooks. Turning away from the mirror, I reach for the white canvas sneakers that Maddie holds out towards me.

"You look really cute Genie, don't be nervous." She says reassuringly. "Teddy and I are gonna pick you up after school because Mom and Gran are going to some kind of ladies-group-thingy up at the golf club. Give me a text when you're ready." She gives my shoulder a gentle squeeze and then disappears out of my room, heading down the corridor towards her own room.

Glancing up at the wall clock, I notice that I only have ten minutes before we need to set off. I decide to check my bag. My books, purse, lip balm, water bottle, sunglasses, pencil case, lunch time pills and cell phone are all there, coordinated into a neat bundle. As I walk out of the room, ready to leave the house for the first time in a few days, I notice the absent weight of my oxygen mask and breathalyser machine. It feels oddly freeing to be able to wander around without them now. The buried panicky feeling of what if my lungs stop working today? has disappeared along with the weight of my equipment. I know I'm still a long shot from being like everyone else, but at least I feel normal now.

......

After kissing Mom goodbye and double-checking my bag for all of the necessary equipment, I jump out of the car and make my way down to the looming gates of the high school campus. Trying to supress my nerves, I look for the reception building. I spot it branded with the sign ADMIN, a couple hundred yards from the gates. My first impression of the school is a good one. The large white buildings, buzzing with movement from inside, group together around the perimeter of an open grass lawn area, where crowds of teenagers, fourteen to eighteen year olds, gather at certain points. Boxes, loaded with colourful flowers and cacti plants, accompany benches and shrubby trees across the lawn, creating shaded areas for students to laze around in the morning sun. A small water fountain sits in the middle of the grassy lawn where a group of younger-looking girls stand and hug each other excitedly after the weekend apart. Walking towards the admin building, I pass groups of edgy boys with skateboards and flashy scooters lounging against one of the shrub trees. Their hair styles are contemporary, ranging from a blue buzz cut style to a tight blonde man-bun. They compare wheels, nodding and nudging each other as they do so. Standing at the entrance to the nearest white building is a couple of girls. They look my age, wearing tight black jeans and large sweaters. One of the two, with long blonde hair, locks eyes with me and gives me a little wave with the flutter of her manicured fingers. She seems insanely pretty, even from a distance, pulling off a red sweater and heeled-boot combo like some kind of Instagram model. I instantly feel intimidated but, given my new mind-set, I give her a confident wave back. Her friend, fashioning a high red pony tail, also turns to look at me. Her eyes flit over my body before meeting my eyes. She also gives me a little wave before saying something to Blondie and making a move into the building's open doors.