Melissa

Chapter 47- Haunted

(I think we all know by now that italics means Melissa is in a dream.)
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Melissa's POV

I don't know how long it has been. It seemed like a pretty good time to me.

I still didn't want to wake up. At first, this unconsciousness led me to darkness. I saw that I had a babygirl in my arms and Blake coming and taking away that baby from me. He wouldn't stop even if I cried and told him to stop. Next time when I saw the same dream, I just fought back multiple times. Next time, I yelled and shouted at him. Next time, I didn't fight, I let him take my baby.

The last time, I saw myself stabbing him multiple times, and feeling happy to see the blood gushing out of his stomach.

The dream stopped there. There was no baby. I fell into darkness.

On other days, it would be a little better when I heard voices.

I distinguished them by their smell first. Trisha smelled like a company of Johnson & Johnson, all baby product smell. It was so welcoming, she would crack jokes at times and then she would go silent as if she was thinking. Then she says to come back, to wake up. And I cannot seem to do that.

Marc and Mahira visited, my dad visited. He cried whenever he came. He told me all about my mother. At first I got angry at him for not telling me about my birth mother, he said he was ashamed of what he did. It indirectly meant that I was a drunken mistake. But the more heard the stories about him and my mother I knew that they loved each other dearly even if it was wrong.

And then there were days when my previous days in the living came to haunt my dreams. I saw myself tied in chains to the white bed post. I pulled trying to get free, cried and yelled for help.  There was no one. I could hear laughter in the background, moss green eyes glazing in the darkness. Fear seeping through my veins.

Then I saw men coming in, naked and with a belt in hand. I knew what was coming next. I moved my hand, the metal cuffs cut through my wrists and it bled. I screamed as the first man forced himself on Me. Next time, it was a different man, hurting me ruthlessly and tearing me apart countless times. Left me bleeding and wounded to the core. Then I realized one day that it was my husband Blake laughing behind the darkness.
The next time, I stopped my struggle. I knew whatever I did it won't stop. I stayed motionless, dead to the eye as they used me.

Another day, I found my husband hovering over me, to hurt me. I stabbed him once, he yelled at me and came charging, I stabbed him again, and again, and again.

And I felt no remorse, no pain when I deliberately wanted to kill him. Take the life out of him. I calmed, felt a glimmer of Happiness within.

I was scared of the person I had become. I didn't want to see how I would unleash myself if I woke up.

My heart broke further into pieces Everytime when he came in and took my hand in his.

Rogan.

I wanted to reach out to him. Cry in his arms. But, it made me feel like a monster when the first day he came in and didn't speak a work. Instead he took my hand and silent tears fell. I felt it. The pain searing in his bones. I was doing this to him.

I was hurting him. He was in pain because of me. He doesn't deserve so much of pain.

He came with flowers, chocolates, baked cakes on some days, my favorite food. I could smell it. But I just couldn't be happy with all those things anymore. I didn't know what I needed, I didn't know if there was anything to return to in this life.

"Please come back." Rogan said one day. "We will get through this together. I promise." His voice was hoarse.

I wanted to believe him. I knew that he will stick by but could I let him do that? I cannot give him more pain than I gave him already. He doesn't deserve it.

"You know Pete has taken care of everything. I have bought our new house with a big garden but it's empty. I can't step in without you. It needs to be decorated by you. I have got this ring..." He smiled and said "... I want to put it in your finger. I have always dreamt of it. You need to wake up."

I have to get up. I knew. My body has recovered, but it was my mind that didn't want to get back to this cruel world.

He took my hand again and put his forehead on it. I guess he was crying again.

"Your fight is over." He said.

I don't think so.

I opened my eyes. And it was dark. I saw Rogan didn't realize that I woke up.

I moved my fingers and he jerked up. He looked at me with bloodshot baggy eyes.  He couldn't believe what he saw, I tried to smile at him.

"Melissa?" He said. And then, he couldn't control it he burst into tears.

"Hey." I said softly, my voice felt scratchy. "Water."

He poured me a cup of water and fed me with a spoon. I lifted my hand and wiped off his tears.

"I'll go call the doctor." He said, but I held his hand, "stay."

He sat down and looked at me. There were no words. It was so rare to see Rogan Kingston Falling short of words.

"Are you ok? Are you hurting anywhere?" He asked finally.

I shook my head no.

"How long was I sleeping?" I asked instead.

"Six months and nine days."

"I took a long nap, I guess." I spoke clearly now.

He took my hand and kisses each of my fingers. "Don't scare me again like that. I won't forgive you next time." He said.

"I was visiting my personal hell. I can assure you that I will not go there next time." He narrowed his eyes at me, and I chuckled.

"I'll get the doctor."

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Last chapter and epilogue to go!

(Question- your ultimate Korean crush?

Me: ji Chang wook, Kim woo bin.)

Love,
Loren.