Theodore

AINE 24

"What do you mean?" I frowned upon what Doctor Bella said.

"I told him to ask you." She responded. This time she looked more serious.

"Doc, I asked you a favor." I emphasized the word favor for her to remember what she promised.

"And I'm keeping that favor. I promised."

"Then why?"

Kumuha siya ng upuan ay nilagay malapit sakin, enough to each me. I sighed. This conversation is driving me nuts. 

"I actually don't agree with the idea of you keeping your condition secret, Atty. Olivia. But I did promised because I respect you and I understand where you're coming from. Mahirap, oo alam ko. I have been a doctor for years at alam at nakikita ko ang hirap ng mga pasyente at mga pamilya the moment they find out the real situation. But you can't keep this forever. Until when? Kung nakita mo lang ang mukha ng boyfriend mo when he talked to me, I was so guilty. Not because I lied but because I know how much it would break him the moment he finds out -- at sa iba pa niya malalaman."

I sighed. I massaged my knuckles and breathe heavily. My body is starting to tense, my heart is starting to beat fast.

"Doc, I swear ang hirap ng sitwasyon ko. I can't decide because I know it will hurt him enough to break him." I almost tear up.

"Olivia," she reached for my hand. Hinayaan ko lang siya. This doctor has been so kind to me and I feel at ease with her. "Sa tingin mo ba hindi niya malalaman? At tingin mo ba hindi siya masasaktan years after? Ayaw mo bang lumaban kasama siya?" she smiled pero hindi naabot nun ang kanyang mga mata. I know she pitied me.

"Doc, hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko." Hinayaan ko ng tumulo ang mga luha ko. Wala akong pakialam kung hindi kami magka-anu-anu. I just want to cry myself out. The pain and the guilt is eating me out I don't know what to do anymore. 

"I know it's hard pero you have to be brave for him...for Blue."

I looked at her. Her expression changed the moment she mentioned Blue, my brother. She became more sad but hopeful at the same time. 

"Go tell him so that you can finally fly out of the country and meet that doctor I told you. Matutulungan ka niya." She said with so much hope in her voice.

I closed my eyes and breathe in over and over again trying so hard to calm myself. 

"Kaya ko ba?" What a stupid question to ask but I did anyway. 

She smiled. The kind of smile that reassures me that I can do anything. "Yes. You're one hell of a badass." She chuckled.

I smiled. "Thank you, Doc. Thanks for everything. Hindi lang kita naging doktor but you became my go-to-person." 

"You're welcome. For now, fix yourself and go talk to him when he arrives. He deserves to know the truth."