Theodore

AINE 22

"Anong napag-usapan niyo ni kuya?" I asked as soon as I woke up and found him staring at me. 

He smiled. The kind of smile I want to look at every second of every day of my life. 

"Secret." he chuckled. I furrowed my brows, a sign of disagreement. "You don't have to know." he almost whispered.

"Ofcourse I need to know. It was me you were talking about."

He pulled me closer. I can now smell the manly scent of the love of my life. 

"Yes, we were talking about you. We were also fighting about how stupid I was and I sincerely asked for forgiveness." he said in a very calm voice. 

"Did he punch you again?" I stared at him. He looks so peaceful and happy. 

"Hmm secret." he laughed. Pero hindi ko nagustuhan ang sinabi niya dahil halata naman sa mukha niya na nasuntok na naman siya ni Blue. 

"Secret ka dyan may konting galos nga tong pisngi mo." I touched his cheek. It felt warm and smooth. 

Ilang araw og buwan ko pa kaya mahahawakan ang mukhang to? Nararamdaman ko ang pagkirot ng puso ko at paghigpit ng hawak ko sa pisngi niya. I want to cry but not now. Definitely not in front of him. Ayokong masira ang magandang umaga namin. I just want to lay in bed all day and be with Theo. 

Alam ko naman na makakaya ni Theo ang mabuhay ng wala ako. Pero ako... pakiramdam ko kahit nasa kabilang buhay na ako ay masasaktan pa rin ako para sa isang taong mahal na mahal ko at naiwanan ko. 

"Hey, you're spacing out." I blinked several times. I forgot I was slowly travelling on a different dimension while thinking about the inevitable. 

As much as I want to forget what the doctor told me, mas nangingibabaw sakin ngayon ang lungkot. The look on my doctor's face was something to be scared of. I saw how sad and scared she was for me and that's a bad sign.

"I'm sorry." I said, not knowing why I am sorry. Maybe I am saying sorry for the future. Yung future na baka wala na ako. 

I shook my head in the idea of leaving and that didn't helped at all. 

Bumangon siya at umupo sa kama. He's now looking intently at me like he is surveying every part of my face. 

"What are you doing?" I tried to sound so casual. Umupo na rin ako para mapantayan ko siya but the look on his face is so dark. 

"You are hiding something from me." It was not a question. Then I held his hand with the hope of making him feel better. 

"I am not hiding something from you." I lied. Ofourse I will. I will not tell you that I am sick. Not now.

"You are. I know you very well baby." he touched my cheek and it felt like everything's alright. How I wish.