Theodore

AINE 14

I was very tired and my eyes hurt but I am very sure of what I am seeing. 

"Baby." It was the most heartfelt word I've ever heard. It was gentle and at the same time, sounds like he's scared. 

What is he scared of?

"What are you doing here?" I managed to ask. I can barely open my eyes. I can also feel the pain in both my legs. Ilang minuto o oras akong nakasalampak sa sahig and cried my heart out. 

Today, I broke down again..just like years ago.

I smiled weakly and a tear fell. 

I felt his hands wiped my tears. I closed my eyes and I felt the pain... the pain I kept on hiding for so long. Akala ko magiging okay na ko dahil tapos na kami dito diba. We talked already and he asked for forgiveness. Bakit andito na naman kami sa impyerno ng nakaraan? Why are you always hurting ourselves?

Is this the sign that saying na hindi talaga kami pwede? Na kapag magkasama kami ay magkakasakitan kami sa huli. 

His touched was soft and gentle but why is it painful?

"Are you here to say bad things?" I asked. I didn't look at him. I even talked at my lowest voice, I doubt if he can hear me. "Are you here to slap me? Or are you here to look at me while I am suffering?" I don't know kung saan ako humugot ng lakas para itanong sa kanya yun. Tanging alam ko lang ay gusto ko ng magpahinga. I want to rest for as long as I can. 

He just continued to caress my face so gently I can feel that he too is too damn scared. 

I chuckled. "We're here to hurt each other again right?" I continued. "Aren't you tired?" I lift my head up to see his face and that guy who has the most beautiful smile is now the guy who look like a mess. His eyes are red, his face is red and his face is all wet. He's crying too. 

"Aren't you tired? Kasi ako, pagod na pagod na." I inhaled deeply and looked at him. Lahat ng emosyon ko ibinuhos ko na. "I just want to rest. Please let me rest." I sounded so unsure.

Hindi siya nagsalita. 

Tanging mga hikbi lang ang naririnig ko.

"I'm tired." Paulit-ulit na sabi ko sa kanya. Siguro nga pagod na pagod na pagod na ako. Kahit ang mga luha ko ay napagod na rin. Ramdam ko ang sakit sa puso ko pero wala nang ni isang luha ang pumapatak mula sa mga mata ko.

He looked at me intently and he nodded. "Yes, I know."

I nod back. "Let me rest, please. I beg you." 

That's the cue. He held me in my waist and helped me stood up. At fist I gasped. It was freaking painful I collapsed. Buti na lang at maagad siya at mabilis niya akong nahawakan. 

Hindi nagtagal ang naramdaman ko na ang mga bisig na yumayakap sa aking katawan. Kandong niya ako habang maingat na sinusuklay ang aking buhok. He did not talk. He just held me like I am made of glass and can be broken anytime.