Trapped in the Past

Chapter 1

Delilah James Potter, the older twin to Harry James Potter. I was going to be eighteen soon. So as Harry. No one except Dumbledore, Remus, Sirius and the Weasley family knew I was a Potter. Sad isn't it?

Dumbledore, Remus, Sirius and Fred were then dead. There, Harry next to me,  heart felt like it was being pieced by a dagger. Felt like hope is lost. The Weasley family were grieving over their lost son. It was painful. I loved Fred. He was my brother from a different mother and Father. Seeing him laying dead made me wonder how many more adventures we could have.

There were too many deaths. You could not count it. It felt as if the war would never end, like every second, a person was murdered, evil or innocent. Remus and Tonks died too. They were the coolest people I knew. Now who would take care of little Ted? I sniffed and wiped the tears off my face, knowing that sooner or later Harry would give himself to the Dark Lord.  I may not be the-girl-who-lived because I was not there when my mother and father were brutally killed. Why wasn't I there? I cried and questioned myself.

Harry, my only family stood next to me, hugged and protected me. I did not need to be protected. It was Harry who need it.

Hermione might have seen the tiny drama because she walked towards us and put her hand on my shoulder. Ron came awhile later. Once I saw him, I cried harder. Ron reminded me of Fred. That goofy smile and that orange hair. I should not have left Fred. I was there when Fred was fighting the deatheater. I could have team up with him, to fight together and he would not be dead. If only I stick by him, we could still hug each other and say to each other that we will kick butts together. But I was testing my own abilities to fight three Deatheaters at once. I was stupid. Extremely stupid. Yes I did killed them. But what did I get after that, other than three Deatheater lesser? Fred was dead.

"I'm so sorry Ron...." I sobbed so hard. Ron stared at me with hatred. I knew that face, it meant he hated me so much that he wanted to kill me once and for all. Maybe he wanted to point his wand at me and cursed me to die. Hermione tried to calm Ron down before he started to cuss me.  Charging after me. I was right. I could not stop crying. Now my life had plunged into darkness where you could not see the light, the hope of surviving. It was gone. Harry hugged me once more and kissed my forehead. He might be younger than me but he did protect me like an older brother.

Harry left to surrender himself. I cried. I broke down and I could not leave with myself anymore. I don't want him to die. Things need to change and it was time for me to do it. Ron and Hermione were hugging, trying to calm each other down. With the same spot I was standing, I looked around the semi-destroyed castle and my eyes landed to the corpses at last. They were  mountains of  dead bodies. I had to do it. Now or forever he hated by your best friends.

With that, I ran to the headmaster's office. Hermione and Ron called for me but I did not look back. I loved them and they had the right to have a good life and I was useless here. They deserved happiness. I did nothing but bring misery. I could hear Hermione yelling my name but I just ignored her.

On my way up to the office, I caught some deatheaters. My heart was pumping blood extremely fast, accelerating. With the tears I had on my face, I yelled the killing curse to every deatheater I saw. I felt so broken I did not care anymore. It was heartless of me but I had to do what I need to do. After all anger and depression was tied into a knot and stuff it deep down into my heart. It felt good to kill and I would not care if Hermione and Ron would hate me for life. After all I would be gone for good and they would have a perfect life.