Hate Filled Love

Immaculate Misconception

A month had passed and Rayne was stuck on the same routine everyday minus her mom, since her mom was put in the hospital a week ago. She had still been talking to the guys of Motionless and had learned they were coming home from tour today. She did quite possibly the worst thing she could have done and invited them over. She was rushing around the house to hide any evidence that her mom lived there and had to text her brother and tell him that if he wanted to meet the band he had to lie and say he didn't have a good relationship with his mom so he stays with Rayne. Trent didn't want to but he gave in eventually. Rayne questioned her self and why she wanted to hide her mother and her mothers illness so badly, but she couldn't find the answer. She just settled on it was a pity thing, she didn't want people to take pity on her. It was quite possibly the reason she hid her mental illness from everyone. Rayne was diagnosed with BPD(Borderline Personality Disorder) about a year ago when she almost tried to kill her self, she hid that fact too. The doctors said it could be genetically gained and her father could have quite possibly had the disorder as well. You see BPD is a constant battle with your self, much like any mental illness really. The difference is that she suffers greatly, she feels the emotions everyone else does(as any normal human would), but you see no matter what the feeling is its extreme, Say someone were to break up with Rayne or leave her in the past without a word. The pain she would feel can be compared to a third degree burn, the slightest touch when shes in that state could set off an over flow of tears and eternal pain. She may look fine on the outside, but on the inside it's like a hell fire had gotten set off. Sometimes she has days where she completely shuts down and doesn't feel a thing, those are the days she hates because she's numb but shes sad, but all at the same time there's absolutely nothing wrong. You can clearly see how frustrating that can get for her and people around her. Especially since no one around her knows about her disorder. She takes medication to control it but she still has her uncontrollable moments when the medication doesn't want to work.

A couple hours later Rayne was sitting on the couch watching TV enjoying the time she had away from her mother. Before she knew it there was a knock at the door, she got up from her seat and opened relieving five tired looking men dressed in black at her door. "Hey guys!" She said smiling they all smiled back even Ricky. Ricky warmed up to Rayne, they talked almost every day sometimes about nothing. They were becoming great friends. Rayne stepped aside and let them all in, "The living room is to the left." She said as she closed the door. They all went into the living room and sat down in random spots. "Do you live here alone?" Balz asked. "No my little brother lives here with me." She said as she sat next to Ricky. "Oh? What happened to your parents?" She almost flinched at the question, "Oh he doesn't get along with them so i let him move in." Ricky noticed the look in her eyes, how the word 'parents' made the light and life in her eyes die down. He didn't understand why. He didn't know that the reason was because she didn't have 'parents' she had a dying mom and deceased dad. "Well this is a nice house, not too far away from Ricky's." Chris chimed in. "Wow, That's kinda ironic." Rayne said. Chris laughed, " Yeah it kinda is." He agreed. The group of new friends sat there laughing at old tour stories and old high school stories, turns out they all went to the same high school. Rayne never paid attention to who was in her classes because she was too busy ignoring bullies and doing her home work.

The front door opened and in walked Trent. Rayne looked up at her brother and sighed, she could tell he didn't have a good day just by looking at him. Her brother was the typical out cast, he had long hair that was brown and was dreaded. His long dread locks made him stick out in a crowd and his music taste didn't help. She was proud of him for being him self but she wished he'd ignore what they say, like she did. She also wished that they'd noticed how his smile could light up even the darkest of rooms and warm the coldest of hearts. He was a sweet boy that'd end the world if it meant you'd be happy. The things he was hiding behind all of that was dark and terrible. Their fathers suicide ripped both Ryane and Trent apart. They both became more depressed and a little bit hidden from the outside world. They didn't understand why their dad did it, well at least Rayne didn't understand up until she was diagnosed with the same thing as her father. "Is everything okay?" She asked her brother after a minute of thinking. "Yeah, just a shit day." Rayne sighed. "Well you favorite band is in our living room." Trent smiled and laughed at his sisters words "I know it's very exciting, are you going to introduce me or leave them holding back laughter?" Rayne smiled and laughed, "Yeah Trent this is Chris, Balz, Ghost, Ryan and Ricky. Guy's this is my brother Trent." They all said hi to him and waved. "Well i'm going to make dinner have fun." Rayne said before getting up and going to the kitchen.

Rayne got out a pack of chicken breasts from the fridge and started opening it. After she had it open she heard someone walk into the room, "Hey." She looked over her shoulder and saw that Ricky was leaning against the door frame. "Hey, do you need something?" Rayne asked as she went back to seasoning the chicken. "No but i thought maybe you'd be more interesting than them." He said making Rayne smile a little. "I'm not that interesting, i'm the girl who won the contest and ruined it because i wasn't a fan." Ricky frowned as he walked over to her. "I'm sorry i made you feel that way.. I honestly didn't mean to hurt your feelings." Rayne looked over at him and smiled slightly, "It's okay." Ricky smiled at her and stopped leaning on the counter. "Okay so is there anything i can do to help?" He said as he washed his hands just in case. "Uhm yeah sure, i'll hand you pieces of chicken and you put them in the pan with olive oil. First you have to heat the pan and oil up." Rayne told him. He looked around the room and saw the oil and the pan sitting out. "How much oil?" He asked her. "One table spoon for now." he nodded and did what she said the two of them cooked the meal with jokes and laughter, even a bit of flirting.

Every one was in the dinning room enjoying the meal that Ricky and Rayne prepared. "This is really good." Balz said with mouth full of food. Rayne laughed, "Thanks but i had a lot of help." She looked over at Ricky, "All I did was cook it you're the one who prepared it to make it taste good." Rayne shook her head and laughed. "You could have easily burnt it." Ricky laughed and agreed, "Yeah i guess you're right." Chris looked at Rayne and Ricky and smiled he noticed what no one else did, he noticed his best friend and band mate falling for the only girl that could make Ricky mad and then happy within seconds. Maybe this was just what Rayne and Ricky needed. Maybe they needed love in their life to balance all the bad.