Purpose

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I wish I was a painter
seeing in lights and darks
and rainbow hues of hope
I wish I was an author
knowing in synonyms and foils
developing character with a known purpose and end
I wish I was a sculptor
feeling in curves and swells
delicately spinning worth out of dirt
I wish I was an architect
measuring in angles and stories
erecting power and industry

But instead I am a poet
writing in unending spiral staircases
and sidewalks that double back,
twisting my own pencil into hands that bite back
against their own mind

But instead I am a romantic
loving in hopelessness and unrequited need
casting away my happiness for the chance of a companion
pulling out my heartstrings in an endless game of
He loves me
                        He loves me not

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