How I Cope (z.s.)

12.

He decided, after all of the conflicting reasons in his head, to let him in.

Harry: "Let me go put a shirt on..."

Zayn: "I've seen you shirtless many times, I think I can control myself"

Harry nodded and took a seat on the bed instead, keeping his wrist from Zayn's view.

Zayn: "I know that was hard for you upstairs"

Harry: "glad you noticed"

Zayn: "but I've kinda known Harry...you make it kinda obvious"

Harry: "I don't try"

Zayn: "not around people, I mean, when it's just me and you"

Harry: "I don't see what you mean?"

Zayn: "when we'd have sex, you'd whisper the sweetest things in my ear...it was like we were actually together for 15 minutes."

Harry: "sorry I didn't know it made you feel that way I jus-"

Zayn: "I didn't say I didn't like it haz, calm down"

Harry blushed at that comment.

Harry: "how are things with your fiancé"

Zayn: "we've been engaged for a day and I already feel like it's a mistake"

Harry: "hmm maybe because you've both cheated on each other and have yet to come clean about it"

Zayn: "I wanted to, but I didn't want to pressure him into telling me anything"

Harry: "you're kidding right?! If someone cheated on me, I wouldn't care how they felt Zayn. I'd call them out for it the minute I found out."

Zayn: "In my case, it's kinda hypocritical because I cheated too Harry."

Harry: "mhm, which is why you're relationship is toxic but that's beyond me"

Zayn: "I see what your doing"

Harry: "I'm not doing anything, I want you happy, and at the end of the day, if Nialls what makes you happy then be with him..."

Zayn: "that's the thing Harry, I came to talk to you about that"

Harry: "bout what?"

Zayn: "your feelings aren't one sided haz"

Harry could've spit out the water in his mouth, but he forced it down.

Zayn: "I have feelings for you too"

Harry: "and why in the fucking world has it taken you this long to tell me that?!"

Zayn: "because I was with Niall, and he wanted to get married, and all of this stuff came at me all at once..."

Harry: "well since were telling each other everything, I guess I should show you something...but please just...just promise not to get mad. It's nobodies fault but mine."

Zayn: "I promise"

Harry lifted his arm into sight and tear fell down Zayn's cheek immediately.

He took Harry's arm in his hands and ran his thumb gently over the three marks.

He looked up at Harry who also had tears in his eyes, while keeping his arm locked between his hands.

Zayn: "w-why...why would you do this Harry?"

Harry: "dunno, takes the emotional pain away for a second"

Zayn: "I'm the reason you did this?! Holy fuck..."

Zayn ran his fingers through his hair and let more tears flow.

Harry: "it's okay Z, it's not your fault...you had no idea"

Zayn: "it is Harry, because if I would've just done the right thing and told you sooner, your wrist wouldn't fucking look like that!"

Harry: "it's fine, I'll be okay. you on the other hand, need to get back to your fiancé"

Zayn: "but I wanna stay"

Harry was shocked, that was the first time Zayn had ever wanted to stay. Harry had always asked him to stay after they made love, but it was never Zayn's wanting.

Harry: "I want you to stay too, but Niall will be pissed"

Zayn: "no, he'll just call Louis and fuck him"

Harry chuckled

Harry: "that shouldn't be funny"

Zayn: "it's not, but I like to make light of situations like this one"

Harry: "but seriously, I do like you, a lot...but if you're happy with him then just tell me."

Zayn: "I'm not happy Harry, the engagement was a fucking mistake...I wanted him to open up with me about cheating, and that's why I did it. But I regret it, and I'm gonna figure out how to break it off."

Harry: "but that's because you want that Z, not because of me correct?"

Zayn: "none of this is your fault, I promise"

Harry nodded, this was the first time he'd felt like something was heading in the right direction.

Harry: "I feel a little bit better"

Zayn smiled

Zayn: "that was what I hoped for"

Harry: "thank you"

Zayn leaned in and grabbed Harry's cheek, pulling them toward each other and planting their lips in a firm, passionate kiss that felt different than before.

Zayn: "you never have to thank me"

Harry's cheeks were bright pink, and he knew that the kiss they just shared was different than the ones they've had before.

They used to be lustful and meaningless.

This time he felt the passion behind Zayn's touch, and it made him feel whole again.

Zayn: "I'm gonna head back, but I'll see you in the morning"

Harry: "I wish you could stay"

Zayn: "me too Harry, but let me figure all of this out with Niall and I'll stay with you every night yeah?"

Harry: "sounds like a plan"

Zayn smiled and left quietly, not wanting to wake anyone else around them.

Harry turned the light off and slipped under the covers, taking a deep breath and realizing that things might just be getting better.

He fell asleep with a smile for the first time in a few months, and it felt amazing.