How I Cope (z.s.)

9.

After awhile of just sitting off by themselves and thinking, they all decided that they needed sleep.

None of them left Louis room, they all just found open spots to lay and ended up drifting to sleep there instead.

Niall was cuddled up in Zayn's arms on the bed, Louis was on the couch and Liam was on the floor.

It was 3:30 in the morning when they finally fell asleep, and they were up by 9.

In the morning all of the boys started waking up and silently getting ready for the day.

Niall and Zayn left sometime before Louis woke up to change and shower while Liam and Louis got ready where they were at.

Once Louis got the chance he headed down to Paul's room to check on Harry.

Paul: "oh hey Lou, I assume your here to check on Harry?"

Louis: "yeah if that's okay?"

Paul: "sure go ahead, me and Julian are gonna head down and get some breakfast"

Louis: "we'll be here"

They nodded and made their way out, letting Louis in after them.

Louis rounded the corner and Harry was on his phone scrolling through what looked like to be pictures.

Louis: "morning Harry"

Harry looked up and noticed Louis, putting his phone down and patting the bed beside him.

Harry: "morning"

Louis: "how do you feel?"

Harry: "physically i feel better, emotionally I'm still a little upset but definitely better than last night that's for sure"

Louis: "well I'm glad, you really worried me"

Harry: "I know and I'm sorry I'm putting you through all of this with me"

Louis: "don't ever apologize"

Harry: "but Lou...I think I know what I wanna say when I talk to Zayn"

Louis: "that's great, just make sure you're clear with what you wanna say yeah?"

Harry: "I will be"

Louis: "let's hear it"

Harry: "I wanna tell him that I'm happy for him first because I don't want him to think I'm bitter..."

Louis: "even though you are"

Harry: "shut up"

They chuckled

Harry: "anyway, then I just wanna tell him the truth. Why I ran, how I feel about him, how he makes me feel...all of it I guess"

Louis: "when do you plan on talking to him?"

Harry: "I'm not ready. I feel like my chest is being crushed when I see him right now..."

Louis: "then before you talk to the lads, especially him about how you're feeling...you need to normalize being around them."

Harry: "mkay"

Louis: "so tonight when we hang in my room, I want you to be there yeah?"

Harry: "sure"

Louis: "if it ever gets too overwhelming just walk out for a second okay? I don't wanna punish you, just get you used to it"

Harry: "I feel like I've got my own personal therapist"

They laughed and Harry felt himself smile for the first time in a few days.

Louis: "but let's get you ready and downstairs, we have an interview on the late late show tonight"

Harry: "fuck, James is too bubbly for me right now"

Louis: "nonsense, I think he'll make you forget about things for a little"

Harry: "I sure do hope so"

While Harry was getting ready the song 'Jealous' by Labrinth started playing off of Harry's phone.

Before Louis could change it, Harry stopped him.

Harry: "no! ...I like this song"

Louis: "but it's not a good time to listen to this Harry"

He completely ignored Louis concerns anyway.

Harry: "I wish I was the one he was in love with"

Louis: "haz..."

Harry: "no seriously...I wonder what it would be like to have him on one knee in front of me instead"

Louis: "you don't need to think about that right now"

Harry: "or to have him tell me that he was in love with me"

Louis: "Harry come on..."

Harry: "I guess I just wish that I was good enough to be with him for more than just my body...that's all"

and Harry changed the song.

The rest of the time he got ready was silent. It didn't take him much longer before they were on their way downstairs and to the SUV on the way to the late late show recording.

The show wasn't technically aired until 11 at night, but they were required to be there by 11 in the morning to practice, get dressed, and get all of their ducks in a row before they went live.

When Harry got in the car, all of the boys smiled at him, but he couldn't take his eyes off of Zayn.

Niall: "morning haz"

Harry: "morning"

Liam: "how are you?"

Harry: "I'm great, thanks"

Their hotel wasn't far from the studio, so they got there within 10 minutes.

On the way into the studio, Harry hung toward the back and followed the rest of the boys. But Zayn snuck up beside him.

Zayn: "you're not a very good liar ya know..."

Harry: "what do you mean?"

Zayn: "I know you're not 'great' Harry"

Harry: "but it's easier to answer that way, less questions"

Zayn: "but it's healthy to talk to people about things, and I'm your best friend"

Harry: "some things I like to keep to myself Z...and this has to be one of them, for your sake"

Zayn: "I just wanna know why you ran out the night of the engagement?"

Harry: "if you look at all the context clues surrounding you on a daily basis...I'm sure it wouldn't be too hard to figure out"

Harry walked out of Zayn's distance after that comment, and they entered the building into the studio.