She's Afraid to Love (Harry Styles)

Chapter 10: I Want to Try It Again

[No your eyes are not decieving you this is an update enjoy! If you want my apology read author's note below. ]

I just sat there. Frozen, as Harry's chapped lips were pressed onto mine. I didn't push him away nor did I kiss him back. A second passed and he finally broke the kiss, if you could even call it that. The realization of what just happened sent a wave of emotions towards me. I couldn't even look at him instead I delved into the thought of Harry Styles being my first kiss. I was angry, fuck that I was enraged. I could punch him, slap him or murder him right now but I seem to have lost the energy to. Instead I felt warm tears streaming down my face as a small whimper escaped my mouth. I curled up in the corner of the cell crying like a baby yet I couldn't stop the flow of tears down my face.

"Mikaela. I'm so sorry. Fuck." I heard Harry say in a small voice running his hands through his hair.

I just sat there crying staring at the unpainted cement that confined me with a man I loathed. Why did I ever agree to the idea of going on a date with him. I know. I knew it would just hurt me. That's all men ever do. Dates, flowers, love all of those are just excuses for men to satisfy their need. I soon felt my lids dropping as I fell asleep.

*** 

"You! You did this. You killed him!" She shouted at me.

The familiar voice kept saying the same words again and again. I covered my ears not wanting to hear it anymore. I was crying. I stared at the scene in front of me, her blood stained hands. A million thoughts ran through my head. I did this. I killed him. He deserved it. I loved him. She loved him. He's gone.

***

I woke up screaming in someone's arms

"Shh..." He said softly cradling me in his arms and I let him. I let him comfort me. I must be insane but I can't bring myself up to hate him. He cared. He cares when he doesn't have to. I admired that about him. I just don't let myself think and believe that I cared for him too.

I haven't had that nightmare for years although I couldn't blame Harry for it no matter how hard I wanted to. I'm a fucked up kid and if he really wanted to have anything to do with me he'd have to deal with that, with who I've become. I must admit to a regular person it would seem like I overreacted to a kiss and I really just have to suck it up.

"I'm sorry." I murmured my voice almost inaudible. It took a few seconds for Harry to realize it was directed towards him.

"For what?" He replied calmly.

"Overreacting."

"I'm sorry too. It was wrong for me to have... to have done that." He stuttered.

"I am still mad at you." I said not meaning it.

"I know." He said stroking my hair.

I let out a long sigh and fell back to sleep.

---

This time it wasn't a nightmare that woke me up but a loud voice and the horrible sound of metal hammering against metal. It was one of the police men shouting for us to wake up.

"Well you can't expect the food to come to ya' you lazy love sick mutts!" He was a balding forty year old looking man with a beer belly preventing the second button of his blue uniform from closing.

I never actually felt hungry in the past twelve hours or so that we have been in this cell until the mention of food which set my stomach growling. I looked at Harry seeing he had the same expression in his face. We groggily walked out of the cell followed by the cranky police man and soon enough we were at the cafeteria. Taking a good look around you get your stereotypical group of tattooed men and women in line to get a pile of green mush in their plates. Dining with criminals isn't exactly how I thought our date would have ended up as yet here we are. I grabbed a yellowing plate and fell in line. After Harry has gotten his share we sat in an empty table in the corner. The cafeteria didn't seem as crowded as I imagined although I suppose it was because we slept in. I started playing with my food just pushing it around the plate with a plastic fork wondering what ingredients it was actually composed of.

"How do you like the food?" Harry asked obviously desperate for small talk.

I stayed silent. Not because I was mad at it I just didn't really feel like talking.

"How long do you think we have to stay here?" He tried again.

I again remained silent.

"This wasn't exactly part of my plan with the date if you were wondering. I really just wanted to have some fun and be adventurous. You seemed like that kind of girl. Always looking for risks and-"

"Will you please stop rambling." I cut him off.

"Sorry." He says quickly.

I stand up and decide to just throw my food in the trash then place my plate on the metal table where all the other plates were stacked. I hear Harry's footsteps following me shortly behind. We walked sluggishly back to our cell. I got back to my position in the corner while Harry decides to sit on the other corner of the cell. I felt the wall between us and I felt comfort. At least the most comfortable you could be in a cell.

I just sat there waiting. Hearing a few muffled conversations from policemen and other inmates. I felt bored so I stood up and walked over to Harry's corner. I felt his eyes following my every move. I sit down next to him. His eyes are still on me when I say, "I want to try it again."

And before he could answer I pressed my lips to his. I remembered the way his lips moved the first time he kissed me tried to do the same. After a few seconds I finally got the hang of it closed my eyes allowing myself to feel the tingling sensation. I kept in mind that this was out of experimentation, experience maybe. I've always wondered why everyone was so keen on the idea of kissing and I think I finally know. I felt his tongue lick my lower lip asking for permission. I slowly opened my mouth as he pulled me closer to him. I run my hands through his messy hair and pulled lightly recieving a soft moan from him. After a few more seconds I pulled away to gasp for air, just a small distance so that our foreheads were still touching. We were both still catching our breath. Harry was grinning, showing off his dimples.

"Wow." I said.

"Yeah." He replied.

---

Author's Note:

Hi guys! Wow long time no see I guess. Wattpad looks so different now. So I believe I owe you guys an apology for not updating for a year. Yeah literally a year. I just felt like I needed a break from writing I guess. I'm also apologize for the short chapter (probably the shortest chapter which I will probably still edit for it to lengthen) and I know it was probably crappy because I haven't written in a while and I admit I am still adjusting back to Mikaela's character. Again this is a filler chapter and I promise you there will be so much more in the following chapters. And I also promise not to talke another year to update soon. Haha. So how have you guys been? Oh and I showed another sneak peek of her past in this chapter! Do you guys have any guesses? Tell me in the comments. Love you guys for sticking with me after a year of disappearing.

Dedicated to imravenclawesome because she pushed me to update so hoorah!

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-randomgirl xx (wow it's been so long)