URGE

Chapter 4

Raped. Ridiculed. Murdered.

Mum never disclosed my father's identity to me. I searched for years on maps and made enquiries about the locations; Duskdale and Deerfield but my search turned futile.

It had been three years since she died.
Her death... I was with her that afternoon. Lily was there too.

We had packed everything we needed for the Switzerland vacation so we were just watching a horror movie together and we had so much fun clinging to mum and screaming on top of our voices.

When the movie was over, she called us to have lunch . Halfway through the meal, she began narrating...

"I was very beautiful,  you know?"

"Of course, you still are, mummy !", Lily interrupted and I nodded vigorously, stuffing sushi into my mouth.

"Listen to me, girls.  No interruption, please" she said to us and Lily pouted, making mum pretend she was annoyed.
I patted Lily on the back and she smiled. Mum smiled too.

" I was very beautiful and would not go out with them to explore my sensitive spots so he took me by force and decided to make me miserable forever because I still didn't give in when he was defiling me. He was only successful because he had me bound in chains when he...when you know..." At this point she burst out in tears and Lily took her left hand in hers while I did same with her right hand.

"Yes, we know." I said.

She ignored my acknowledgment and continued with tears streaking down her face.

"He kept me locked in his room and raped me roughly everyday and night, always thumping so hard on me and causing me so much pain down there.
I discovered I was pregnant after a while and he had a lady who seemed like a doctor check me out to confirm it. I had truly conceived.
It had been for three weeks. The thought of his child inside of me sickened me but I never thought of aborting it.  I only cried my heart out, cursing my fate. He didn't touch me the whole day and I overheard him order his minions to get rid of me that night as I slept so I decided to escape.
I dont know how but I managed to escape at dawn.
Right when I stepped out of the mansion, I was shot with a poisoned arrow. He kept those and I saw him soak them in poison every morning before he hang them out. I turned to see them on my heels. I ran for a long time with his men still on my heels and the arrow under my shoulder, my back. I felt numb there but I felt fine.
I found a thick grove and entered it, running as fast as I could.

"Bastard, I'll kill you !", I thought and gritted my teeth.

"Running as fast as my skinny legs took me ,I went straight ahead without a landing place  . With about four of his bulky men on my heels ,I doubted I could make it to the boat alive ,if I ever even made it there .

"Think of me when you need help'' ,his words and husky voice echoed in my head ... I stopped thinking the moment a sharp thorn cut into my flesh, the thigh, as I   tried jumping off a small fence marked with twigs ,thorns and spines . Still ,I kept moving,ignoring the pain while I bled also,hoping that it was not venous .

Suddenly feeling lightheaded and vision rotating in ballet style ,I realised how safe I had to keep myself  as I felt the other life in me kick hard ,it's way ,I thought , of pleading to see day once, at least. I groaned and let out a loud cry of exhaustion and fear as i fell  and sat hard on my butt . God!!! I sat right and hard onto a sharp stone which tore the back side of my skirt apart and created a deep cut into my left butt cheek.

I gritted my teeth and threw myself up , getting the sharp apex of the stone out of my cheek  ...then the tears started welling up my eyes as I saw a  strange looking feline rush past .

I turned to the blurred vision of a man, his . He was coming at me as fast as a cheetah ,I could swear on it  . And oh, he had a gun. Squealing and squinting, I gave up and let out a loud cry with a shaky voice, alerting the comrade who hadn't even realised I was there and had turned to leave.

Then ...just then ,I felt numb and pulled out the poisoned arrow with frustration, blacking out."

"What boat, mum? And who asked you to think of him?" Lily interrupted and mum didn't ignore her this time. We were all crying at this point.

Mum answered,"The man I loved. I had planned to escape to another country with him. We had been seeing each other secretly and he promised to keep a boat waiting for me at a shore in the town.  He was good looking and rich." She chuckled at this.

"At the point where I escaped and was running, I didn't know where the boat or shore was but I really felt the urge that I was on the right path. I really did."

I asked her,"Which comrade was closing up on you? What happened?"

"He was a high ranking soldier. The rapist! And his minions were soldiers too, just of lower ranks. I think I was hallucinating as an effect of the poison in me because when I woke up it was still dark. His men wouldn't have left me there if they had found me or perhaps they thought I was dead. I assumed I had slept for over a day because my head really hurt and the blood on my back had dried up.
I left. I gave birth to a boy, Luke, I named him. I decided to go back and live with Luke's dad. I didn't want him to miss a parent and I had accepted that I had a cruel fate; to live the rest of my life with the man who raped me and ordered to have me killed."

"Wait mum. Wait."

We both turned to Lily who asked," Where? Where did you hide and raise Luke for months?"

"He was beautiful, Luke. But you know, he had a mark from birth, same mark his father had. It was behind his neck, just as his father. The shape of a bird. It was so amazing. Watching that dark shape on his milky skin made my heart race with excitement about the beauty I had for a son.", she totally ignored Lily's question.

Mum stood up suddenly and started packing the plates on the table and headed for the kitchen. I took the spoons she left behind and followed her. Lily followed as well.

"You have to kill him, Rox. He raped me again after killing Luke. I told you that. He's your father too..." she said and I dropped the spoons.

"Why do you keep telling me crap?!" I yelled furiously and ran out of the kitchen to my room.

Lily called me severally but I didn't turn back or respond. I just threw myself on my bed and cried. I sobbed so hard that I felt my world literally spinning as my head ached severely,  a migraine.

That was when I heard it. It was a gunshot.It came from downstairs.

I ignored the pained I was going through and rushed downstairs, spraining my ankle at the foot of the stairs. I cried out but limped to the door where Lily sat on her butt with mum's head on her thighs. She was in a pool of blood .